In My Father's Eyes

Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.

That having been said:

Thanks for sharing this heartfelt poem of a father who is forced to witness his precious little girl suffer seizures. If conveying a deep loving concern is the poem’s intentions then it did so with flying colors. In fact, this is one of the few poems that stirred deep emotion within me and I actually could feel myself strongly sharing in the father’s love and in his anguish over his own helplessness. Perhaps my having undergone a similar experience recently helps. But I don’t think that anyone who has a normal capacity for empathy can read this poem without being deeply moved.

Below are some punctuation suggestions.

Please note that the poem reads smoother without those long lines separating the stanzas.

My sweet daughter,

[o]h how I wanted more for you[!]

You should be out playing [on] the grass,

[n]ot being tied down by such a burden.

-

My little princess,

I miss your smile.

What happened to the bright[-]eyed girl I used to know? [that I once knew?]

Princess, please don't give this disease the power to control you.

-

My baby girl,

[y]ou are so strong.

I see you trying to fight . . .

I see my baby girl choosing life.

-

My darling,

[y]ou are trying your best to be strong,

[b]ut darling, it's okay to have to be weak.

I am here for you to lean on.

-

My beautiful little girl,

[y]ou make me so proud.

Face each day with a brave smile[.]

Give into each seizure with only a single tear[.]

Live your life to the fullest.

-

My sweet daughter, I am in awe of your strength.

Legacy here for a review.

I love the message of this poem very much. I am a sufferer of migraines so I kinda know the pain that they feel (at least the feeling of missing out of things because of a disease you can't control). I love how the father just wants good for his daughter instead of wanting her to be better and blaming her for it. I am also in awe of her strength and I don't even know her (You displayed your message very well in the poem).

I know the struggle of letting a disease control someone and I'm glad that there is finally something out about the outsiders wanting to help (I don't think I would be able to describe it in such a way.)

Sorry I wasn't able to give you anything to make this better, but I don't think anything needs to be added since this is such a strong poem already. Legacy out.

Aw... this is so sweet!

It's a very good poem, with beautiful word choice and a wonderful message! I especially love the third and last stanza because it makes me feel hopeful ( ). I also enjoy how you wrote this from the father's point of view instead of the daughter's because it holds a lot of warmth from a parent's heart.

Surprise. There's actually nothing I would change or suggest here.

Fantabulous job, and keep on writing!