Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Short Story » Action / Adventure

E - Everyone

Sleeper part 2

by maverymadams

I fell to the floor and broke out in tears. I am in a strange place, with people I don’t know, and they won’t tell me anything.

“Maya, are you okay?” Ethan came rushing down the hall and kneeled right by my side.

“Why would you care? I doubt anyone cares, and if you did,you would tell me just where the hell I am!” I yelled back. He took a deep sigh and sat against the wall just like I was.

“What is the last thing you remember before you woke up?” He asked.

“I remember going to bed, in my own room.” I answered.

“How long ago do you think that was?”

“Maybe, a few weeks?”

“One year, your parents set out a missing person’s report one year ago.”

My heart dropped. I had missed a whole year of my life. “I don’t remember anything. Now, whose blood was that? Did I kill someone?” I asked frantically.

“He was an undercover agent working against us. We ‘hired’ you I guess, to end him to see if you were the person we thought you were. But yes, you did kill him, and we are grateful that you did.”

“Oh my god!” I exclaimed. I looked at Ethan and he didn’t seem very shocked. “That wasn’t the first person I’ve killed, was it?”

“No, you are a sleeper agent. A person employed to collect the military secrets of one country and replay them to another, especially a person living in a foreign country while so working for his or her own nation; spy. But you are wiped of all that information until needed. The government has thousands of them, this house is filled with them. Everyone in there is a sleeper agent. But Alastiar found us all and has taken care of us. He is training us to use our abilities for good, and to control ourselves before something bad happens.”

“Why did the government create these, sleeper agents?”

“So they can end their enemies quickly and quietly without drawing any attention to them. If you were interviewed by the police, the feds have a switch to turn off that information so you would pass a lie detector test.”

"I can't believe this. Wait, my parents, they still think I am missing! I need to see them, tell them I'm alright." I said.

"You can't." Ethan replied. He gave me this look like he was hiding something, or he was about to tell me something he didn't want to. "Your parents, the ones you lived with, aren't your real parents. Like all of ours, they were government agents to watch us, and play a part in our lives. They knew about us, and if we were ever called into action, they would come up with a cover story."

"So, who are my real parents?" I asked.

"I don't know. None of us knew our parents."

"Alright, this is way too much excitement for me today. I'm gonna go to bed, or a room, or.." I rambled. I do that when I am scared.

"Let me show you to your room." He said. He took my hand and led me down the hall and into the room I awoke in. We said good night and I shut the door. I ripped off my dress, and threw on some clothes I found on the bed. I jumped into bed and closed my eyes hoping to wake up from an awful dream. But the harder I tried, the more upset I got. In one day, I find out I am a secret government agent, my parents aren't who I thought they were, this guy saves all these people, and the biggest thing, I have killed people. After examining my day I fell asleep. Ah, sleep, the one place where I can drift off into a whole other world and nothing can hurt me. I can be whoever I want and be wherever I want.

I always used to dream that I was a princess. My prince would come rescue me, take me away to his kingdom and we would live happily ever after. But tonight, it felt like something was pulling me toward a dream. Something I have never seen before, but it felt like I had been there. It began with me lurking outside someone's house. As I looked in the window I realized this was the house Alastire has all the kids in. Then I saw me, not my reflection, but like another me. There was also this guy, I couldn't really see him, I could only see the back of his body. Then I saw blood, the other me had drove a knife through the guy's stomach and ripped up then out. I ran to the window, pounding on it, screaming for myself to stop. That's when it got weird. I looked up at myself, through the window. I screamed, and started to run away, then as I turned around, the other me is standing right there, holding the bloody knife. Before I can say anything she runs the knife through me. She looks me dead in the eye and says, "You will never defeat me." Then all of the sudden I feel like I'm shaking, and as my vision blurs out I can faintly hear someone calling my name, it gets louder and louder.

"Maya!" Ethan yelled. I sat up quickly, drenched in sweat, and Ethan was at the foot of my bed. I immediatley break into tears. He grabs me and pulls me in close and is stroking my hair, telling me it was all a dream.

"I saw it Ethan." I told him.

"Saw what?" He asked.

"I saw myself, kill that man, here in this room. And when I tried to stop it, the other me, killed me."

"Did she say anything to you?" He asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"It's important. Sometimes they can be clues to getting your memory back." He said.

"She said, 'You will never defeat me.' What does that mean?" I asked. Ethan looked at me and got up quickly and threw clothes at me, telling me to get dressed right now. "Why? Ethan, what does it mean?"

"It means, you are fighting a battle within yourself. We need to get to Alastaire, he will tell us more about it." He replied. I nodded, and as he went out, I got dressed. Man, everything was my size, I guess they really do their research. All it was a pair of jeans and a baggy old sweatshirt with a pair of sneakers. The most normal I have felt since I got here. I met Ethan outside and he led me to what they call it the training room.

The training room was filled with punching bags, weights, weapons, and an obstacle course. It was like the size of a class gym. There in the middle was Alastaire, he looked like he was expecting us. As Ethan and I walked toward him, I noticed this girl. She had long fiery red hair, and a long torso, with these very muscular arms. She had this, cruel face, like I had done something to upset her. I looked away and turned my attention toward Alastaire.

"Ah, Maya, I see you have come for your training." Alastaire said. He had this, rich sounding british accent, not the one that all the girls fall in love with, but like something from Harry Potter.

"Training? What am I training for?" I asked him.

"Ethan hasn't told you? Well my dear, you are training for your final mission as a sleeper. You are going to take down, the US government." He responded. Okay, remember when I said before about feeling scared and my heart stopping, well I think now I might have died. What in the world is happening to me?

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
1215 Reviews

Points: 10822
Reviews: 1215

Mon Jan 18, 2016 4:27 pm
View Likes
Elinor wrote a review...

Hi Mavery!

I really like where this story is heading, but I don't necessarily know that I like how it's being presented. Let me clarify what I mean. The idea that she's a government agent, that she somehow lost her memory, is a really good one. I don't know if you've read The Lost Hero - it's the first in the sequel series to Percy Jackson and the Olympians - but it evokes the beginning of that. Do read if you get the chance and you haven't yet.

How this all goes down, however, doesn't feel genuine to me. I suppose you still have surprises in store (I noticed that you posted the third and the fourth parts - I'll get to those soon :) ) but think about it this way. If the others knew that Maya lost her memory, why would they be able to freely tell her everything? Having Ethan/Cade spew everything out to her feels a little cheap to me, and it shortchanges the chance for us to discover Maya's past naturally as she gets her memories back. Whichever direction you want to take, I would play it the same way. If they don't know, obviously, they would be confused. But if they do, you can play that up too.

And even if Ethan/Cade is going rogue and decides he wants to help Maya, I don't know that he would just tell her everything. What if they were romantically involved in the past, and Maya doesn't remember? Just a thought.

The idea of her memories coming back to her through her dreams is a good one, and I can't wait to see where this story goes. :)

maverymadams says...

I'm gonna stick with Ethan, and I changed the 4th part to what you recommended. Thank you so much, and I'm not sure where I want this to go. At first it was just a short story but more ideas are coming and it is just expanding. The 5th part should be published this week. Thank you for the review!

User avatar
518 Reviews

Points: 6546
Reviews: 518

Fri Jan 15, 2016 4:00 am
View Likes
felistia wrote a review...

Hi maverymadams , Felistia here with a late review. :D

Story: The story plot is getting better and better with each part, so much that I would recommend maybe changing it from a short story to a novel being that you have a part three too, which I intend to read soon. My favourite part of the chapter had to be the dream. I feel that dreams are a great way to get to know the character and introduce some action and drama. I would put it in italics though to show the reader that it is a dream. I love the cliff hanger at the end, so ready to read the next part. :D

Characters: I really like the characters so far. I can feel their feelings and care for them to. I feel very sympathetic for Maya right now. Shame she's really between a rock and a hard place right now.

Description: Your description is quite good. I can see what is going on around the characters and for the most part have clear picture in my head. How ever I feel like you could be a bit for vivid with the colours and other senses especially in the dream. That is what I love about dreams, you can really go wild.

Small problems: As far as I can tell there are now spelling or punctuation mistakes. :D

Over all another great part and I look forward to reading the next part. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night. :D

User avatar
6 Reviews

Points: 414
Reviews: 6

Sat Jan 09, 2016 12:48 pm
Psychologicaltorment wrote a review...

Very good second part to the story I am again intrigued as to where it will go. You brought the characters in very well and developed them well. Also I can tell you like Harry Potter which, since I'm British and it's custom to like it, is a very good thing. Furthermore I like how you have finished this part with such a big thing that will no doubt lead to a very good plot line in the upcoming parts. Speaking of which I didn't expect you to go down the road of sleeper agents which is good because it made the whole thing so much better not being able to predict what was coming next. And the psychological warfare theme with Maya, herself and the US government is something that I can't wait to read! Keep up the good work!

maverymadams says...

Thank you so much. I do like Harry Potter, but what this is kind of a mix of is Alias, the tv show. I absolutely love it! I was watching this one night and I had a dream, (the story) and I just went with it afterwards.I have been contemplating the name of the main guy, I went with Ethan because I couldn't think of anything but what do you think about Cade? I wanted a name that meant bravery or loyalty to others but I couldn't find one that I liked. What do you think?

It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the hill —The Hill, as all the people for many miles round called it—and many little round doors opened out of it, first on one side and then on another.
— JRR Tolkien