Here I lay,
In my bed.
On my pillow,
I rest my head.
Ready to escape this world and all it brings,
As
I
Slowly
Fade
Into
The
Realm
Of
Dreams.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
Hello, InfiniteRectangles here with a rather brief review for you!
Wow! This was really great, and the format at the end was so cool! It matched your topic perfectly. I love how you were able to write a short poem that feels complete. That can be a very tricky thing to do (as a writer of short poems myself, that feeling of completion is something I often struggle with and I am slightly envious of your ability to master it so well.)
Anyway, really, the only thing I would suggest is to maybe split "Ready to escape this world and all it brings," into two lines. There's nothing really wrong with the way it is now, but it might look better since the rest of your lines are shorter.
That's all I have for you! This was a very well written poem and I am looking forward to reading more of your work! Keep writing and have a wonderful day/night! ^-^
Hi matthewmazer, Felistia here with a short review on your poem.
So this is going to be a rather short review since as CHRISSY321 said there really isn't anything wrong or anything that I would change about this poem. It flows really nicely and I love the smooth rhyming scheme. The concept it peaceful and helps me relax. The ending is a perfect way to end the poem and leaves the reader feeling calm and satisfied with the read.
Over all a great poem and I look forward to more of your work. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.
Hello @matthewmazer ! CHRISSY321 here to drop a little review!
There is honestly nothing to fix!I really love this poem! It is just really nice, and kept short- short and sweet! That is awesome because when some people write really short poems, they seem incomplete- but that is not the case here!
I really especially love the font you used here:
(not shown in the quoted part of this review)
I really think it fits because it falls and fades, like falling asleep! GENIUS! Really great poem, and you make it fit even with the was ou have it wrote down.
I really enjoyed this poem! I greatly encourage you to keep writing!
~Chrissy