You have only yourself to blame you never walked away

A/N - This is for Iggy's Musical Challenge. The song is Innocence by Halestorm

Child, don’t follow me home. You’re just too perfect for my hands to hold. If you choose to stay, you’ll throw it all away, And I just want to take your innocence.

******************************************

“Shush,” I whispered, thrown back by the tears. I drew her closer placing my hands on either side of her face. In-spite of the dampness from the incessant tears her skin felt hot under my hands. It was like she was running a temperature.

She squeezed her eyes shut on my touch. Her hands clutched the front of my shirt, holding me in place. I could see the tears caught in her eye lashes, each one mirroring the room around us.

“You are like a drug,” she said, between whimpers, “I cannot just leave you!”

“Please let me stay,” she pleaded, looking at me. Her eyes were coal black, a detail I noticed only now. Now, after two weeks of time spent with her. This truth steeled me. I pulled away from her. How could I explain to her I was a monster for whom such emotions are non-existent?

She frowned at the change in my expression as I put distance between us. I went to stand beside the door so that I was in the shadows. She was perched on the bed, the crumpled white sheet wrapped around her unclothed body. She was in the focus of the morning light that streamed through the window.

“I love you,” she said, repeating the words from the night before. Words that made me come to my senses.

“Look here,” I said, showing no empathy, “there was only one thing I wanted from you.”

Her frown grew more profound as she tried to decipher my words.

“You do not mean that,” she said so softly I could not have heard it.

“Yes, I do. The hours together in the bed, that is all I wanted,” I said, ignoring the hurt that quickly flashed in her eyes.

“No!” she sobbed, her face going pale.

“I warned you, darling”, I say flopping onto an armchair.

She curled up into a ball, her body quivering as she cried. I let her be, it was the right thing. Not wanting to leave her alone in the room I stayed in my place staring at the ceiling. What was it about ceilings that gave you a feeling that they held the answers to all your doubts?

“Are you trying to get drunk?” I asked as the girl beside me drowned another glass of whiskey.

Without answering she motioned to the bartender for another round. She flashed little skin, her body clothed in a pale pink dress. Her hair was held back by a turtle hair clip. She looked misplaced in this bar with her sophisticated air.

“It’s Friday the thirteenth,” she finally answered, looking sideways at me.

“That explains everything,” I mumbled, feeling sure she won’t be able to hear me over the din from the dance floor. She grinned at me, surprisingly having heard me.

She leaned forward and spoke over the noise, “You see, on every Friday the thirteenth I try to do something I usually wouldn’t even think of doing! Something daring!”

Like being in a second rated bar, I thought. Instead I said, “Like getting drunk?” I nodded at the glass in her hand. She looked down at it as if she had forgotten it was there. She took a quick sip. I placed the cool rim of my bottle to my lips and tilted the drink down my throat.

“No,” she shook her head. She angled herself such that she was somewhat closer to me.

“I was thinking of something else,” she whispered, sounding husky. I leaned back. No, she was too young for me.

“Right,” I said. After that I tried to subtly walk away. There were some things uptown girls like her did not understand. It’s better left that way for the more they tried to figure it out the greater they would regret it.

Next day, I found her at the bar again. I tried to stay away from her sight but she trapped me when I was on the dance floor.

“I was looking for you,” she said as she joined the mass of sweaty bodies.

“Frequent here much?” I asked, trying not to sound too annoyed.

“I don’t usually revisit my Friday the thirteenth dares but this one needed reconsideration.”

And I gave in.

I watched silently as she picked up her things from the floor. Her hair was tied in a mess, her eyes bloated. Finally she turned to look at me.

“Is that all you ever wanted? My innocence?”It was only for a flash but I saw it in her eyes. Hope. Hope that I will say something that will heal the pain and make things right.

“I do not want to lie, love,” I said, “you should leave.”

“Why?!” I understood her words.

“You have only yourself to blame you never walked away.”