I'm sorry.....
Sorry for not being perfect.
For not reaching that goal.
Sorry for messing up.
For being so sad that I broke my soul.
I'd try again harder,
but I don't think I can.
Cause the pain is too much,
with these tears on my hands.
I know I disappoint,
But I don't know how to change.
I know the answers are there,
but I'm to scared of the pain.
"Could you live without me?"
That's what I ask myself,
when I see no end in sight.
Could I get some help?
I want to know,
so that I can finally leave,
To say my last words.
To say, "goodbye."
To say, "Hello."
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139,456 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
Hi Shikora here with a review.
I really liked this poem. It felt so sad and emotional. I could feel how sad it was. I really like the name to this poem, it drew me in right from the start. Which is a really good thing. I think if the title to your work is good then the work it's self is great, and that is what I saw when I read this.
The one thing that i will point out is that I think you said sorry a pit to much in the poem. Now I no it is the name to the poem so it is good to show it. But that could just be me. Maybe change one of them into another word that means the same thing. That's just my thoughts. You don't have to do anything if you think it's okay.
I really liked reading this poem and reviewing it for you. Never stop writing and have a great day/night.
Your friend
Shikora.
Thank you! Have a great day/night as well!
Your welcome. I will thanks.
Hey there, Arden here to leave you a review!
(By the way, "to" should be "too".) As I said, the situation will most likely get better if you keep working towards it. Whatever pain you're going through, you can overcome it if you trust yourself.Let's go ahead and dive right in.
This poem sort of wraps up the main aspects of regret and guilt that we feel about not being perfect. What must be understood, though, is that no one is. I think our main character here is having problems accepting that, which is perfectly normal. I struggle often with the issue; thinking I'm not good enough for those around me and/or that my family is far more "put together" than I am. What I've come to realize is that the best you can do is the best you can do. Period. If you are trying your best, and you know you are, and it's clear that you are, you cannot do more. Just keep going. Don't give up. Stuff will get better if you keep putting in the effort for change in your life and to be the best you that you can be. I learned that the hard way.
As for
Of course! That's one of the best things you can do. A therapist would be awesome, especially if you find the right one.
There are also a few links and numbers that I can provide for you to call anytime:
National Suicide Hotline (Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.)
tel:1-800-273-8255
Affordable Online Therapy
Crisis Hotline
tel: 1-800-273-8255
There are many others, probably in your area as well. <3 Things will get better, I promise!
Good job, and keep writing!
Arden
Thanks! I do hope things get better.
Hey magiccharm ,
A very beautiful and heart touching poem , i don't know it's personal or not but if it is , i really feel for you , i can the see the pain in the wording , the way you describe it make look so much hilarious . There are some grammatical mistakes but it doesn't matter . The poem is so emotional and inspiring, i really like it.
Hope you keep on writing like this and good luck in the future.
Thank you.
Awesome poem, so relatable, that point in life when you feel as if you are at the bottom of an endless pit. Not sure if this was a personal poem, but just wanted to say, it gets better. Sometimes you learn from yourself how to get better, and sometimes its from seperating yourself from society, and looking at the endless beauty that surrounds life. Ok, so there were a few grammar errors, in line 13, "to" is spelled "too". Its not an error, but the first word "pain" i think could be changed to something else, to avoid repetition. Perhaps "suffering" would make it better. All in all, wonderfull poem. Good job, and I hope to see more in the future :3
Thank you! I will look into those edits for sure.
Aright, awesome.