** I am no longer using YWS but I'd like to say thank you to everyone who commented on my work and helped me to improve it - you guys are seriously amazing and I love you all. Thank you!! 
xx **
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140,256 Literary Works • 673,073 Reviews
Hey lucy-lu, my british friend-o-mine!
I'm sorry I won't be able to get to Chapter 8 tonight like I said I would but I am going to finish this one. I promise, though, that I'll get to it by this weekend ^_^
Okay, but let's get this one rolling first...
You mention sleeping too often here. We already know that. I like how you go into detail about what she looks like but maybe describe something else instead of telling us that she's asleep, you know?
Whoa... wouldn't that send warning signs off in his head that he might be a tad obsessive at this point? Isn't he worried about that part? Or is that just normal thinking for him... because I would think being with another person that looks like your ex would be painful. I would elaborate more on what he thinks, what he's feeling, ect.
~ ~ ~ ~
I liked this chapter. It was very easy going and relaxed with the two sisters having a little lunch-in at a Chinese place - very normal
The only issue I have is the beginning. I felt you didn't have enough information to keep it alive. It started good with the lawyer-talk but then it kind of fizzled when you talked about Celie. I want to really understand Jared and his thoughts. I wanna know him and how much it hurt him and how much he's still hurting after Rosaline left. Really bring that across and I think the reader will feel more for him, you know?
Otherwise, another great piece, lucy! I can't wait to read the next installment tomorrow
See ya!
Thank you all for your reviews...
. Because Rosetta and Kenso were getting married, Rosaline felt that it was wrong to carry on dating Jared (as he ends up being a brother-in-law to her by marriage), so they agree to stop dating, but simply put they couldn't stay away from each other, so Rosaline thought that the best solution was to move to America, where she could no longer carry on hurting herself and Jared. Makes sense? It does become clearer; I've actually written the chapter where she expains to Jared why she did what she did, so it should make better snesne then 
1stViolinS.C. - The reason Rosaline left for America, will become clearer in the next few chapters, but as you've asked I may as well tell you
Mo - haha, thank you, your reviews always make me happy. Thank you also for following this story so faithfully - I can't tell you how much I appreciate it
Chichi - thanks for the detailed review - it will come in extra handy!!
Thank you all again for taking your time to read and review my work and also for following this story throughout - you guys make me very happy
--Lucyy xx
Hey! Congrats on another excellent chapter!
A bit of an awkward sentence here, and a long one, too. I would suggest instead of "with the use of Jared" just "with Jared" and instead of "even though", "but". Or you could just split it into two sentences after "with Jared".
Semicolon instead of the comma after "sighed".
It's "while" she was sleeping, and there is no comma before "and". Unless both fists are on one side you need to say "by her sides" and even if it is just the one it's "by" not "at". Also, I wonder how someone can have tight fists and be peacefully asleep? Wouldn't her fists be loose?
Too many "move"s! How about getting rid of the "moving" altogether? The sentence wouldn't miss it.
Full stop, not colon.
"Wake her up too much"? This is just strange. How about "startling her" or something?
You mention that the roll is in her hand far too late; I was under the impression that it was floating by itself! Try "her hand frozen, the spring roll in it halted" or something that indicates from the start that she is holding the spring roll.
It's "supposed to have". I'm sorry, but that is just sloppy. The sentence also holds unsteadily. You could split it after "girlfriend" into two sentences and throw out the "as".
"..." and "erm" are both doing the same thing, showing her discomfort (or at least feigned surprise). Use one only.
"Lost for words" and "avoiding Rosetta's gaze"? First off I would change "gaze" to "eye" and second I would only use one of the two. Too many actions!
"Agape" is one word.
"Kenso and I" - although you may have done this on purpose to make the speech more realistic.
Period not comma. "Talking" is not a talking verb - that sounds weird. A talking verb is "said", "cried", "yelled", etc.
"It was I" - again that may be just for speech uniqueness.
Again, period not semicolon.
I thought she was so sad just a second ago! Now she's laughing? How about a "slight smile"?
"While" not "whilst". Comma after "Mum". "She" not "Rosaline". Don't start sentences with "but". Semicolon or a dash (-). Period not semicolon after "again".
Unless Rosetta is reproachful about talking to their parents soon, you should end the speech at "no," and put Rosetta's reproachful look in there, then start again with "but" (because that's not starting a sentence
How about instead of the awkward "convinced", you put a period after "eyebrows" and change "she knew..." to a new sentence.
Get rid of the "Rosaline looked at Rosetta". Start with "Rosetta burst out laughing", put a semicolon instead of the colon and you have a punchy finishing line!
Love to hear that you are keeping your voice but be careful: sometimes you go to somewhat extreme lengths to not use that personal-ish third person, like writing thoughts as sentences. Overall, keeping up with your regular standard!
Are you ready? I'm so pumped to write this review! Okay so here we go-
You don't really need this part, it's clear he's shouting out.
What I bolded isn't really necessary either.
Overall I liked this chapter, although a bit short it still had the homey touch. I'm so happy that you chose to continue it, too. In fact I actually thought you had decided not to. Well I can't wait for more and I really can't express how much I'm happy you're BACK!!!
**Mo**
Hey again! This chapter, like the others before it, is pretty good. However, they are a couple things that confused me a little bit. First, when do we find out that their brother is getting married? Second, why does Rosaline go to America in the first place? That never really made much sense to me. Third, when Jared says "she looks so much like Rosaline", to me, that makes it sound like Cerise is just a replacement for Rosaline. It sounds kind of cold if you read it the wrong way. You might want to change that a little bit. Anyways, this sounds good! Can't wait to read more!
Hey again! This, like the chapters before it, is pretty good. However, there are a couple things that confused me. First of all, I never really understand quite why she left for America in the first place. Second, when do they find out their brother is getting married? Third,