** I am no longer using YWS but I'd like to say thank you to everyone who commented on my work and helped me to improve it - you guys are seriously amazing and I love you all. Thank you!! 
xx **
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Ugggggg! My computer just deleted the whole entire review I was finished with to give you and now it's gone. GONE!!
Oh well. I can't rant forever. Now, let's finish this reivew once and for all
I don't think the dashes you use really emphasis anything. I think you should use italics or something. Maybe even try this: ...seeing her brother again for the first time in ten - has it really been that long? - years.
Silly cow? lol I wish people in America talked like that
How does Rosaline feel when Jase says this? Angry? Sad? Regretful? Elaborate more here on her emotions and thoughts.
Too much smiling going on here. Make one a "grin" or a "beam"
Cute Ending
~ ~ ~ ~
Allrighty, I think you did mighty well, lucy lu! I loved all the conversations and you created a very believable atmosphere for your readers. The only thing I would work on is clarifying the things I pointed out above ^^^ and making the conversation between the two sisters flow easier at the beginning.
Otherwise, I loved it!
*clicks gold star button with a flourish*
Hey! Sorry it took me so long to review one of these, but here I am
.
I actually had a hard time finding something to say about it besides "it was awesome", but here goes nothing...
There needs to be a period after "I'm positive", or a semi-colon or something. It sounds like a run-on/fragment without it.
Second, when she calls Jase "big bro", that's sweet, but not very realistic. That always reminds me of sportsy people who are male, and she isn't either one of them
That's nice of her, but that makes her sound like some old lady who goes out with young men all the time and thinks that she's experienced. After all, the girl has only been with one guy--Jared--right? I just think that sounds bad.
And last, Jase telling her to go see Jared and meet Cerise. That doesn't make sense. It makes him have a complete aboutface from freaking out that she knows who Cerise is. And that seems a little soon to be telling her to go see her ex-soul-mate and his new girl, doesn't it? It doesn't seem very tactful, especially with Jase's girl being able to "put him in his place", and her not saying anything.
Okay, that's all. Keep writing! Can't wait to find out what happens next...
I love this the characters are really believable. I really wanna know whats going to happen to Jared and Rosaline!
(you know how much I love my emoticons!)
I didn't find any mistakes, when I was reading it either
I can't wait to read the rest, PM me when you have the next bit posted!
you should definitely keep at this, it's awesome!
xxxx
Hey Lucy!
I actually read this a while back but totally forgot to review it. I loved this a lot and can't wait for more. I couldn't find any big errors or grammatical stuff so you're good! I love her brother he reminds me so much of my own and I can't wait for her to see Jared again!
Moonlight
Pm me when ya have more!