okay. well i put myslef in the position of my best guy friend.
everyone says he likes me. but if he did i think this is what he would have been thinking
this was also very easy since it was basically inspired from the music video for lollipop by framing hanely. :D
It's been a while, I'm so nervous.
people surround me. i know no one. their eyeing me like I'm a freak.
"I get enough of this at home" i think.
But there you are, more beautiful then ever.
Your brown hair shines and your floating like a feather.
Your leaving your date, he seems happy but his smile is fake.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
All my fears have literally walked out the door.
Your too good to even know my name, you said things just haven't been the same.
Your mix CD is leaving my hands. I'm ready for us to dance.
Everyone seems to disappear. But i can't care,
Your truly the one here. I'm in the corner of the room, staring at my feet, your making everyone laugh, the party is finally complete.
You were the missing piece.
Oh how you shine in this crowded room.
But now your leaving the party group.
Their faces are filled with jealously.
But your blue eyes tell me,
over here is the only place you wanna be
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I like it but if there lines were even it would have a better flow::). Other than that you did pretty good I like this part of your poem
"Oh how you shine in this crowded room.
But now your leaving the party group.
Their faces are filled with jealously.
"
Anyways I enjoyed reading this piece.. I would like to see more from you';P
Keep writing!