a first love lost

Hello,
You don't know me.
Im sorry if im bothering you cause i odviously am.
I was just wondering if you knew this guy...
He was amazing,maybe not to you...but in my eyes he was more then amazing.
He was my 'best friend'...which really means i love him, he love me. But we hid it. I didnt want to hid it but he did, so i went along with it and i held tight. I only wanted him and i would fight, fight, fight.
He had the best of me. The side thats compassionate,free and loving.
But now im left with the worst...the side thats in pain, is scared and vunerable. What i was scared to be all along.
Even the hurt side of me wants him back. Its like he's evaporated.I still have his number...i try it everyday.
And when i get an anwser its seems i have the wrong number. i havent heard hello beautiful in forever. i miss hearing he misses me. I even miss reading the texts that say i love you. Hearing it from someone else doesnt mean the same thing anymore.All my friends tell me to move on. But once in you've fall in love, its hard to forget.
But sorry for wasting your time sir, cause now im regreting..you're him.
The vibrant brown eyes, midnight colored hair. your him alright. But at the same time your not him. You're his shell
Why did you leave after you promise you wouldn't. After you promise you wouldn't hurt me but bascially threw my heart in a blender, watched it liqufiy, and drank it up. you left me alone, clueless, when all i wanted was your love.
Im not the type to regret but now i want it all back. The listening to your heart beat in the sweet summer air, the holding your hand as the faris wheel span us around, as i staired into those brillant eyes that i thought were mine, you gave me my first real kiss.
I want it back!
So here you, the boy i loved's shell, i loved with everything and was lefted with nothing.
your a stranger now.
And even though i hate you with everything im left with and cruse you so... i know if you told me i love you again i would fall so hopelessly once more.
So stranger, take those 3 words i said with all the truth i though i knew, choke on them, let them haunt you as you rest your head like the memories of our summer fun haunted me for 3 straight months. Die with those 3 words.
Atless you have the truth.
I will die with lies.