The one who speaks
when they should not
is the bravest,
as is the one
who stays silent
when there is danger.
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Canary word: Present
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139,610 Literary Works • 672,622 Reviews
Hm. This could be taken different ways. I could see how one might differ from the message of this poem, but that isn't for me to judge. You're the poet, after all.
I think you could find some more interesting words or add some imagery, metaphors, etc. to make this poem more interesting. Poetry, to me, is saying something or getting a message across through saying something else. That's a big part of it.
So instead of flat-out giving the answer to this question, try experimenting with a different sort of description. Show what it means to be brave.
I like the format of the poem, the shape of it is nice. (Don't judge me I love the shapes of poems...)
I might even put no space between lines (shift+enter) to bring them closer. Just a thought.
Good idea and start to this poem! I look forward to reading more.
Keep writing
Hello kingofeli! Writer here to give a review.
So I thought this poem was a little interesting, but it's kind of short and didn't leave me thinking that much. I always like a poem that makes me think, and this one was a little ehh. I'm exactly sure what to say. I think you need to add onto this, use imagery, symbolism. Technically, I suppose this could be classified as poetry, but it didn't make me feel anything or even think anything. This almost feels like a quote one would include in a blog post or something xD (not sure why, but just saying how I viewed it).
Poetry, and don't quote me on this, is all about feelings and emotions, imagery and finding your voice. That's how I think of poetry.
Let's look at this poem as a whole. What do you mean by what you say? How can you elaborate. Why is it that one who speaks when they shouldn't is brave? Why is it that one who doesn't speak when in danger is also brave? I don't know about you, but I would call that common sense, rather than bravery xD And what kind of danger, anyway? You're very vague, and I would like more specifics and details here!
Well, I hope I helped in anyway. I think you have a good idea, but it needs to be fleshed out and looked at again. ^.^
~Writer
Thank you for the review, I appreciate the constructive criticism, it's very kind of you. I'll try to keep all of this in mind, as I can be very vague at times (usually when I write multi-chapters I do it purposefully, haha), but I guess that doesn't work well with poetry huh? While I enjoy your criticism, I really, really love this poem as it is so I probably won't do much editing--it came straight from my heart and it's nice and raw.
Oh I totally understand! This is only a review, nothing you have to change ^.^ I suppose being vague can work to an extent, but I always try to be cautious about that.
Raw poetry is <3
Amazing there is so much here and yet it's so short, please keep up the good work
This is proof that there isn't a need for many words in order to send a message, there just needs to be the right words, and these are definitely the right words (if that makes any sense at all).
I love this poem, holy crap. I had to read it five times before I was able to understand, but damn that's good. What's so great about it is that it's so short, but gave me an impact. It may be hard for others to see past the simplicity, but if you actually pay attention when reading, you can truly see a meaning. Keep writing.
Thank you very much!