can we talk?
just for a minute?
i just want to say sorry
i dont know what i did
but it must have been bad
i am a bad dog.
please listen
i am trying to make it up to you
i would do anything
dont you know?
i can see you
i can hear you yelling
the little one is crying
why is she crying?
is it because of me?
i am sorry
i am so sorry
i am a bad dog.
you can hit me
you can beat me again
you can drown me like you did
with the puppy last month
please
i am a bad dog.
i am a bad dog.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,610 Literary Works • 672,619 Reviews
Hi there! I'm Crissy! First off, good job. But I do have a few suggestions...
First, you should really capitalize your proper words like "I" more often. It just gets a little confusing if you don't and is a grammatical error.
Second, you should try and get your point across in a somehow different way. I like the idea of a bad dog but I didn't really understand how it fit in with the rest of the poem. I mean, it was definitely depressing and I understand why you wanted to use bad dog. But I just didn't understand why bad dog was the analogy you decided to use. Try and get your point across in a more understandable way. Great job! Keep writing!
I used "bad dog" because the poem is written by the dog itself. That's also why there's little capitalization and grammar, as it's written by a dog, not a human.
That is so heartbreaking, I just had to look up little cartoons of hugging penguins to make me feel better. As to your brilliant poem, once I get over the heart-crushing, soul-ripping, destructive void of sadness, all I can say is: Bravo! Bravo! It's simple, adorable, and absolutely perfect. *likes immediately*
Thank you so much! I'm glad that you enjoyed it.
No problem.
I absolutely love dogs, and the poem was just great.
kingofeli
Well then, this was depressing.
You did a very nice job capturing the feelings of the dog and a possible way that they think. If that is truly how they think then that is just too sad. I've never read anything that has the animals point of view as a narrator. For an abuse story\poem that is.
I agree with Momochan and 67DemonSlayer. This would be perfect for an animal awareness. It tugs at your heart strings. It's a poem so people can't say they didn't read it because of the fact that it was too long. it symbolizes the dogs point of view perfectly.
Only thing I can really say is great job.
Keep up the great work!
Thank you so much!
This is so sad, I can't believe that such a short piece would make me feel so depressed. I can really depict a guilty dog in the corner of the room, seeking attention from its owner. Though I can't really say whether my imagination is just too good (which I doubt) but I can definitely sense that you could kick my heart with a something a little longer. However, this one's perfect just the way it is.
Thank you so much! Sorry it made you sad, though that was kind of the intent. I'm glad you enjoyed it, though!
I just want to tell you that i really enjoyed reading this. I also want to tell you that the way the story is presented gives it a poem like feel. I love animals especially dogs and it seemed to capture how a dog would feel very accurately. Like 67DemonSlayer(Waves at Demon slayer ^^"/) has said this would be great for animal abuse awareness. I have no complaints for this story. It looks very well written and i enjoyed it. Good job and keep writing
Thank you! I hate animal abuse just as much as you guys do, which is actually why I wrote this.
Okay first off wow, although a most definetly different type of poem it has a quality about it that makes it very real. Dogs and all animlas obvioulsy can not speak with voices like we can so they can only take the beatings silently. This would be great to post for animal abuse awareness, i really dont see any mistakes in this piece and i must say that I really like this and I think that you did a really good job on this. Have a great day and keep writing!
Thank you so much!