Why am I?
Why do I cry?
Who sees me?
Who cries through the night.
_
What am I?
What do I see?
Why do I think this?
Why this darkness is in sight.
_
Where am I?
Where is my comfort?
What is my mind.
What my cries merely hint to.
_
Who am I?
Who is speaking?
Where does he come from?
Where my reprise is.
_
Why do I cry?
What do I think?
Where can I hide?
Who am I?
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139,347 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
I love this poem!!! The amount of questions that you used in this was fantastic. Personally, I am a big supporter of question poetry pieces like this and I am so glad that I found it. Instead of just making statements, you say things like this:
Some of them feel a bit unfinished to me, too, which makes me think. The question 'why am I" feels like that... why am I what? sad? alone? this way? I feel like it's really up to the reader to decided, which was a lovely touch and felt personal. You speak of crying at night, unseen. Then in the next verse, you say:
This darkness could symbolize so much. Death, an ending, a new life, a bad event, giving up, etc. It being in sight means that it is close, or possible in your circumstances.
and this ending stanza was only questions:
That was a very nice touch
Your friend,
Ellie
Hey there! Sofie here with a review -
I really enjoyed this one. It's a very simple poem, yet the emotion definitely comes through. I think it's so interesting and cool how almost every line is a question. True to like, sometimes there are no answers - only questions. I think the themes are very relatable to everybody at one time or another. Good job!
nice writting keep it up
Hi keeper! Rida here for a review!
I think your poem is really imaginative and interesting, and I loved some parts of it- like the repetition, the rhetorical questions etc. However, I think the current structure of the poem doesn’t quite do justice to the emotions and idea behind the piece. A few notable points that could perhaps be improved are:-
Structure:
I feel like the structure comes across a little tedious right now. While I understand the importance of the repetition and rhetorical questions, when you keep repeating the same thing with little change it becomes a bit boring for the reader. The reader might lose interest quickly! I recommend using imagery and visuals to keep changing the structure.
Imagery:
Imagery is basically poetic visuals. You use words to paint scenarios, using similes, metaphors or just about any descriptions. For instance:
“The sun is a shining pendant on the sky’s neck”
You see how interesting this sentence is? It immediately brings an image to the reader’s mind. Imagery helps the reader imagine the backdrop/scenarios in the poem and lets the reader visualise the poem. I recommend using imagery to create a scene and backdrop for this piece!
I’d like to add that this is merely my opinion on the work. Poetry is very subjective, and what one person may like may not necessarily be the same for another. At the end of the day, this is your poem- so change what you want, ignore what you’d like. Maintain the integrity and originality of the poem, and most importantly- keep writing!
Let me know if you have any questions!
Yours truly,
Rida
The idea I was trying to portray is basically someone going in circles trying to explain to themselves who they are.
Hi! Okay, the going-in-circles thing is REALLY clever I love it! What I feel, though, is that the poem can%u2019t really grab the readers attention and that%u2019s sort of pulling away from the deep emotions of the poem. I%u2019m really sorry if I offended you, that wasn%u2019t my intention! I loved the poem and wanted it to shine as bright as it can!
I know, that's why I clarified since poetry is in the eye of the beholder.