Dear Buzzfeed,
You are dumb. I'm sorry if that's too crass for you, or for anyone who's reading this article. But its the truth. Everyone know it, but people are too afraid to come out and actually say it. I'm aware that that's the 'Trumpian' style of thinking, but in this case, it's absolutely legitimate.
You're not just dumb. You're breathtakingly stupid. The kind of stupid that'll make people go crazy and kill themselves. You're the cultural apocalypse. Nothing makes me go from happy and optimistic to destitute and angry as quickly as seeing a link that redirects to a page on your website.
You are the devil. The one that Redditors and Quorans live in fear of. It is your quizzes that can make teenagers go from being smart to a bunch of mindless morons. I'm sorry but I do not want to know how angry I am based on my horoscope. I couldn't care less about the guy who made tiny pancakes for his kitten. I honestly am not curious about how popular are my 'Game of Thrones opinions'.
I simply do not care. But it seems that is a concept you no longer understand. You must raise your ugly head in every Google results page. You must bastardize nerd culture. Your contributors have probably termed Captain Picard colloquially as the 'bald guy with face-palm'. You must oversimplify complex philosophical and scientific ideas to make stupid jokes about TV shows that nobody really even cares about anymore. There's no reason anybody should be reading you (mainly because reading text on animated gifs is hard). None of your content is original. If any of it is, it has better coverage in other media forums. Even Fox News is more tolerable! The fact that you have to put social media buttons on every image to share it is mind-numbingly frustrating. Mis-attribution of images is aggravating to say the least!
It wouldn't be an understatement to call you Internet fast food. You make the mind fat with useless junk. And it is downright discouraging for me, a person who wants to contribute meaningful content on the Internet, to faced by you, mammoth of a website, that only has a place in the minds of idiots.
The end is near, I fear. And it will probably be because of you.
P.S. I know this was a rant, but I couldn't help it.
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Hi K! Becca here for a quick review.
I'll try to leave personal opinions aside and focus on the way you wrote this piece. I definitely found the rant to be humorous and passionate (not sure if that's what you were going for) but it definitely came across like you care about this issue.
My favorite line of this piece was, "our contributors have probably termed Captain Picard colloquially as the 'bald guy with face-palm'." I thought it was creative, a crafted jab if you will. I'd appreciate more lines like that.
Keep writing! And keep that nose up in the air, the culture elite salute you from our snobby residences in Manhattan.
I, my friend, completely agree with you on this. Buzzfeed is terrible and I only look at buzzfeed articles for a good laugh and some cringey content to rant about.
Hey! I'm here to review your work.
First grammar:
"But its the truth."
But it's the truth.
"Mis-attribution of images is aggravating to say the least!"
Mis-attribution of images is aggravating, to say the least!
I agree with a lot of this as I am someone who isn't a fan of Buzzfeed either. But I didn't find this funny or necessary. I realize it's a rant but still. "Everyone know it, but people are too afraid to come out and actually say it." this line made me laugh since pretty much all the Youtube commenters are saying it. "Buzzfeed is running out of ideas faster than Usain Bolt". Anyway I don't have much else to say or help besides grammar. I don't think there is anything wrong with the piece, I just happen to have a different sense of humor, I suppose.
marmalade
Preach!
Good Evening. 'Tis the Chirave Canicthus here to get this thing out of the green room!
Well, I'm not going to lie. I agree with a lot of what's being said here. Buzzfeed is really just a joke of a website. I almost feel like you're being a bit overdramatic though, no matter how much this stuff needs to be said. After all, there are more pressing issues out there than cruddy news sites.
But then, I shouldn't be critiquing your emotions. I might also be defending Buzzfeed somewhat here, as I follow the LGBT side of the site often.
Your writing is strong and full of your voice. Your opinion is clear and the message has run through. I can tell you've got a crudload of anger to the website, and I can see why. After all, it just makes us click through page after page of useless content so they can get ad revenue. I've learned that they actually rig their 'how many of these can you get' quizzes so it gives people high marks. That way, old ladies on Facebook link the quiz to their friends, and they get more site-views. It's all really angering actually, when you think about it.
But yeah. I totally understand what you're going for here. This is an argument that needs to be said, and you've said it well. I really like the analogy to fast food, because that's simply the most fitting way to put the site. The way that you take such popular characters and reduced them to memes made me shudder, so kudos for that lol!
Either way, I really like this essay. It has a message and it portrays it perfectly. Good on you!
Keep writing!
Chirave Out!
that's cool and all, but... a bit melodramatic, don't you think?