Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
could you really have prevented your greusome death?
Could you have fought off the knife? Or the saw, the dagger or the fire for that matter.
Could you have been strong enough to keep your heart beating as your limbs were painfully removed?
Could you keep your heart beating against disembowlment and headwounds?
As they took out your entrails and watched you scream as they tore them to pieces with bloody fingers and dull knives
As they struck your face and your skull against the ground, with random objects set around you in some groteque fashion
No, you could not
You were not quiet as you screamed until they ripped your throat out
You were not limp, not Gone, as saw met bone
As skin bled fast,pulsing in pain
Head pounded from behind your eyes,something worse than a headache and threatening to send you into the blackness
Yet still you scream till your voice is hoarse and annoying the killer, to the point where his foot connects with your windpipe and again and again till it is crushed beyond recognition
As your jugular veins is shredded and spurting rust colored liquid all over his blood drenched clothes as the empty insides of your torso scream in agony
The feel of acid being dripped onto your ripped open chest and stomach, the feel of the burn as it dissolves the muscles left over
The way after the insides of the entrails have been dumped into the empty cavern of your torso and strewn about you like a very sadistic assortment
Yet through all this you fought, and in the dark a terrible smile glinsted in the very small light
Still drying to wring out every last drop of pain as the knife ripped through the last muscles anywhere possible, working over your blood-dried body and watching you just seep
How they ripped your nerves to frayed strands of screaming anguish, and finally watching as it stopped
How you could hear their breathing yet couldn't see them through the black covering your eyes...
Maybe he tore out your eyeballs,ripped them from the eye sockets when you were too wrapped up in pain to notice
Hearing his breathing speed ahead of yours as you both listened to the beating of your heart slowly beat its last push, still fighting to stay alive
Yet through all that your life was lost, stolen away by a form of evil that watched with sich delight at such a slow, painful death
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,759 Reviews
You defiantly send a feeling of pain and suffering through this poem, and for that you are a good poet. Other than a few minor spelling errors, this is great.You are very descriptive and I could feel the agony flowing through the lines.
I do suggest you space your poem out more like below, because it would make the poem a bit easier to read...
------------------------------------------------------------
could you really have prevented your greusome death?
Could you have fought off the knife?
Or the saw,
the dagger,
or the fire for that matter?
Could you have been strong enough
to keep your heart beating as your limbs were painfully removed?
Could you keep your heart beating against disembowlment and headwounds?
As they took out your entrails
and watched you scream
as they tore them to pieces with bloody fingers and dull knives?
As they struck your face and your skull against the ground,
with random objects set around you in some groteque fashion
No, you could not.
You were not quiet as you screamed until they ripped your throat out
You were not limp,
not Gone,
as saw met bone.
As skin bled fast,
pulsing in pain
Head pounded from behind your eyes,
something worse than a headache and threatening to send you into the blackness.
Yet still you scream till your voice is hoarse and annoying the killer,
to the point where his foot connects with your windpipe and again and again
till it is crushed beyond recognition.
As your jugular veins is shredded
and spurting rust colored liquid all over his blood drenched clothes
as the empty insides of your torso scream in agony.
The feel of acid being dripped onto your ripped open chest and stomach,
the feel of the burn as it dissolves the muscles left over.
The way after the insides of the entrails have been dumped
into the empty cavern of your torso and strewn about you like a very sadistic assortment.
Yet through all this you fought,
and in the dark a terrible smile glinsted in the very small light.
Still drying to wring out every last drop of pain
as the knife ripped through the last muscles anywhere possible,
working over your blood-dried body and watching you just seep.
How they ripped your nerves to frayed strands of screaming anguish,
and finally watching as it stopped.
How you could hear their breathing yet couldn't see them through the black covering your eyes...
Maybe he tore out your eyeballs,
ripped them from the eye sockets when you were too wrapped up in pain to notice.
Hearing his breathing speed ahead of yours
as you both listened to the beating of your heart slowly beat its last push,
still fighting to stay alive.
Yet through all that your life was lost,
stolen away by a form of evil that watched with sick delight at such a slow,
painful death.
---------------------------------------------------------
Keep up the good work!
~Rainn
l love horror and Emo poems. very discriptive and gory. keep up the good work
Hi!!
Very detailed poem. You may have gotten too caught up in the way the body was persecuted and hurt, but I like the vivid descriptions.
Your poem shows great imagination. Good job!
Just one thing, a poem should be written in stanzas. It just happens to be so and it catches one's eye as well. Yours looks like an essay. Other than that, I like it.
Hope this helps.
- Bianca