Sarah
She was stuck in the dark recesses of her mind. It seemed a lot more peaceful than the chaos that became her life in the past week. She remembered being taken but it felt so inconsequential where she was. She started to recognize a picture coming into focus. The fuzzy outlines of two people started to become discernable as she seemed to be transported to a lab. The picture became clear and she gasped. She couldn’t believe it, the two people who ruined her life. She wanted to scream bloody murder, cry, and laugh all at the same time. It seemed ironic that she would dream of her parents. The people blamed for her change were standing in the sterile chrome room staring at her.
They started moving toward her but she couldn’t make herself move. She felt as if the world were closing in around her. Then they did something she wouldn’t have ever expected, they hugged her. She was so shocked, she broke into tears and started bawling as she hugged them back. It didn’t matter that they made her into a monster, they were her parents, her family.
After what felt like an eternity the haze started to slowly creep back in. Her parents pulled back and her mom spoke quickly, “You can’t trust the government. We were threatened and couldn’t prevent what happened. We were all murdered for trying to revolt against what they were making us do. We never meant to hurt you. You can trust the Grimlock. He won’t hurt you, he was helping us. Stay with him, no matter what you do, he can keep you safe. Please for the love of god remember that we always loved you.” The haze was getting thicker and the black was invading her sight again when she heard her father’s faint whisper, “You are stronger them all, just be safe.”
The black that came back into her vision started receding along with the vision of her parents. Her mind was reeling with the information. Could they really be my parents? It wouldn’t be the first time something strange happened. Were they telling the truth? She was torn from her mental conversation when she heard a loud crash coming from another room. Her eyes shot open and she sat strait up. Where am I? This is so annoying, I am so tired of waking up in random places. She looked around the room and started to recognize things. Okay, maybe not so random. Why would he bring me to my home? As she finished the thought she heard the hiss of her cat. Oh great, like I don’t have enough things to worry about.
She got up off of her bed and walked through her log cabin to the living room. She now understood why her cat was hissing. The Grimlock she got her excellent hearing and sense of smell from was standing in front of her. He was turned the other way but she could smell him seething with anger. She got frustrated when she saw that he had thrown her antique side table against the wall and shattered it.
“Oh come on, really!? You have to smash my stuff. Why can’t you go outside and destroy something other than my home. Aren’t you just the perfect guest.” She said with as much venom she could muster at the moment.
“I can’t go home. They stole me and now they are keeping me from leaving the surface.” He responded in a low gravelly voice that was filled with anger and despair. I started to calm down and think about what my parents said. Could he really be trying to help me? With this thought I asked him to sit down so that we could talk. As he sits down on the couch, I sit next to him and turn to face him.
“Why did you take me?” I ask, trying to discern if I was actually speaking to my parents.
“I took you because you are mine. They said that I could have you to protect and I will protect you.” He responds.
I put my head in my hands and start chuckling. I can’t believe it, I have been worrying about being claimed and he is merely keeping his promise to protect me. I am sure that he can smell my relief but he doesn’t say anything. I look up and into his eyes. I realize that I hadn’t seen him when he first spoke to me. He is not as ugly as I thought. Aside from the grey scaly skin, he looks like a normal human being. This realization calms me down even more and I am able to believe and trust him. Maybe he can help me with my abilities.
“So do you know what abilities I will have?” I ask tentatively
“Somewhat. I know your parents took genes from 15 different beings. I could get you a list but that would mean we would need to go back and I won’t put you at risk like that.” He said matter-a-factly.
“Yay, so if I got abilities from each of them I could have anywhere from 15 to 45 depending on how many they took from each being. Right?” I respond exhaustedly. I suddenly feel light headed and tired. I started swaying on the couch and I look at him confused, silently asking him what’s happening.
He responds to my silent question, “It’s your body trying to acclimate to all of your abilities. They will continue to come when you need them. I have seen 6. Empathy, heightened scent, heightened smell, heightened speed, see and speak to the dead, and you remember everything. I wonder what one is coming in now. We shall see when you wake up. I will put you in your bed now.” He speaks while getting up and allowing me room to lay down on the couch.
Right as he finishes what he is saying and starts to reach for me, I am taken, again, into the oblivion of my own mind.
. . .
Lamar
Dylan is convinced that he knows how to find her. We are still sitting in the room while he explains his disastrous plan. I am only half-heartedly listening because thoughts of what she might be going through are taking up all of my attention. We have been like this for about 45 minutes when suddenly I hear her. ‘Could they really be my parents? It wouldn’t be the first time something strange happened. Were they telling the truth?’ my eyes get wide as I scream at all of them to shut up. I hear her next thought a few seconds later ‘Where am I? This is so annoying, I am so tired of waking up in random places. Okay, maybe not so random. Why would he bring me to my home?’
I look up and say, “Okay, I know where she is. Demitri, get your car, we will meet you out front in 10 minutes.” They all look at me like I have grown a second head. “Come on people, let’s go!” This snaps them into action. Demitri leaves to go get the car as I have Marco and Dylan follow me to get a first aid kit encase she is hurt. We start running down the hall when we are stopped by one of the lab coats.
“Lamar, where is the new hybrid. We were hoping to get samples of her blood and analyze her abilities.” The head of the science nerds said.
“I don’t have time for this. Her name is Sarah, not the new hybrid and we are trying to figure out where she was taken because it seems you can’t keep mythical creatures here. She was taken and we are going to try and get her, now I need you to move or I will move you.” I respond frustrated and frantic to get to the car. After what I said sank in he went wide eyed and stepped to the side of the hall allowing us to pass. We race down to one of the medical units taking a First Aid kit and then go to the elevators. As we take the excruciatingly long trip up I can’t stop thinking that something bad is happening to her, aside from the obvious kidnaping.
The elevator finally dings and we go out the doors seeing Demitri in the driver’s seat of his jeep. We all jump in.
Demitri asks, “Where am I driving to?”
“Sarah’s house in the woods” I respond waiting rather impatiently for him to start driving. After a few seconds of staying stagnant in the car I look to him and see him looking at me confused. Frustrated with him, I shout, “I will explain it on the way we need to go that’s at least a two hour drive from here!” At this he frantically starts driving and the others are looking at me in alarm. I have never snapped like that. Ever. After a few minutes I start explaining what I heard but before I can get very far I stop speaking, I hear more of her thoughts. ‘Could he really be trying to help me? I can’t believe it, I have been worrying about being claimed and he is merely keeping his promise to protect me.’ When I hear this I am so stunned that I can’t function. I know Dylan and Marco are staring at me, waiting to know what happened but I can’t seem to get past this revelation.
I am finally able to come out of my stupefied state. I look straight ahead, not truly seeing what I am looking at. How? I can’t seem to process the information. I am finally brought back into reality, after what felt like an eternity, when Marco shakes my left shoulder. I turn from the passenger side to look in the back seat. I blink, still reeling from Sarah’s thoughts. Finally I notice that Marco is talking to me.
“What did you say?” I ask him in a soft, distracted voice.
“I asked what happened. You seemed really distracted.” Marco responds.
“I heard her thoughts and they don’t make any sense.”
“You could tell us what she was thinking and we could help you figure it out.”
“She seemed confused but she was wondering if she could trust him and then she said something about a promise.”
Marco got a confused look on his face and looked as though he were trying to work it out in his mind. He asks, seemingly coming up with no conclusion, “Is that all she thought?”
“No, she also thought something about her parents and being at her house, which is why I knew where she was.” I respond trying to figure it out in my head.
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter The Hybrids (Chapter 7)Points:
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Flame here! You never fail to amaze, don't you?
I'm only finding that your alternation between their perspectives is becoming more difficult to follow, with your frequent jumps. I also have to reflect the advice you offered me: giving each narrator a distinct voice. They're fleshed out beautifully, just...they don't feel realistic. Or familiar, despite me having been with them for six chapters. You want to give them some quirks, some flaws, some talents--make them so that we know them better than anyone in real life.
Accidently forgot a comma here ("oh" qualifies as a parenthetical expression).
Accidently forgot a period.
I truly enjoyed this. Another display of your vast vocabulary, more well-crafted descriptions, and the flow is only improving. Keep up the good work! Looking forward to more!
Yea, I am currently working on the 7th chapter and am almost done with it. I am planing to explain the characters personalities more in the 8th and 9th chapter but just getting there is taking a long time. Thanks so much for the reviews they really help.
No problem! I guess it is a little early to develop the characters. Looking forward to it!
Yea once I get chapter 7 ended the rest should flow better. Just to warn you chapter 7 is a little on the long side.
Longer's better
.
Yeah, there are a few mistakes in here. I also believe that kidnapping has two p's in it. You already know that straight was spelled wrong. Other than that this was an unusually short chapter.
It was very good and I like reading this story. Just keep going with it and I honestly don't care about the mistakes as much as the content.
Yea I noticed when I posted it that it was short but if I were to continue with the portion I wrote on the seventh chapter it would have been really long. Either way, any idea what ability I should give her?
Telepathy?
That might be interesting, she can talk to Lamar through thoughts but that's more like a psychic connection with his power than telepathy. Thanks
that gives me some ideas. Also, thank you for continuing reading my story, I know that after the first two or three chapters most people just stopped reading and replying to them so it's exciting to come on and see a reply to one of my works.
I know what you mean. Not very many people review my work. I guess it's not interesting enough for them.
Well you can add one more person who'll review your work.
Thanks. You might also want I think of telekinetic abilities.
Hello, first of all i found this "Her eyes shot open and she sat strait up." I believe that you meant to write "straight up" being that what you used means a narrow passage of water. No big deal, it's easily fixable. I am not very good with punctuation and grammar, so from what i could tell your writing is mistake free. I really enjoyed what you've written so far, keep up the good work.

ahollander
Thanks
I didn't notice that but I will change it.