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Young Writers Society


16+

The Hybrids (Chapter 9)

by jls1638


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

Chapter 9

Lamar

We are all sitting in the living room. I am waiting for Alessandro to speak. Why would he know anything about Sarah being a hybrid? I thought this was supposed to be classified information. I stare wordlessly at Alessandro, waiting for him to enlighten us. He doesn’t wait too long before he starts.

“I am a Bunyip.” He opens his mouth to continue but before he can, Sarah interrupts.

“No you’re not. Not unless you can morph into a human.”

“You didn’t let me finish.” Alessandro snaps, “I am a Bunyip who has been sent by the Sumerian god Enki. For your information, I can morph into a human because Enki made a deal with me that he could ensure I could change into a human and back into a Bunyip at will.”

“Wait,” I stop the conversation, “For those of us who didn’t grow up reading mythology and lore, what is a Bunyip?”

“A Bunyip is a mythological creature that is said to lure women and children to the edge of bodies of water and consume them. They are based in Australia. The problem that I am having is that Bunyips basically look like giant dogs but a lot harrier and with the teeth of a saber tooth tiger. Oh and they have webbed feet. So you see, that doesn’t fit his description at all.” Sarah says before turning to Alessandro, “Why would Enki make a deal with you? What is this deal anyway?”

“I was getting to that part if everyone would stop interrupting me.” Alessandro said with ire clear in his voice. “As I was saying. The Sumerian god Enki wanted me to watch over you and if anything should happen with the government I was supposed to inform him that it had started. You see, when your parents were threatened they decided to go to Enki for help. Most people just prey but they decided to do one better. They went to the ocean under the earth, which in the time period referred to the underwater cave that can be found where the Tigris and Euphrates rivers meet. When they got to where the rivers meet though he came to the surface. He had been diligently watching and noticed the makings of a war. He knew the mischievous ways of the government and before your parents even asked, he offered to bless you. He knew that your role in the war would be great and with all the kidnappings that are dragging creatures from the realm of the unknown, he was furious. He shared his ability with you. Everyone will have to pick sides and now that you have been activated, the war will start.”

I felt sick to my stomach. We have been helping in kidnaping of mythical beings. We were told it was necessary. We knew about this war but, we thought it was because the human race was being attacked. I never thought it might be the other way around. Guilt washes over me in waves. I can’t believe we were so gullible. If what he says is true and the government is the antagonist, than what about everything else they told us? What about . . . My mind races with everything going through my head. The only thing that stops my thoughts is when Sarah speaks.

“What power of his do I have? I am pretty sure it’s not the ability to control water, I would have known about that.” At this point, the Grimlock starts to gurgle his little nothings that Sarah claims to be words.

“Wait, you’re telling me I am all knowledgeable and will remember everything I live through? You can’t be serious.” Sarah responds.

“Oh, there’s one more thing.” Alessandro says, but before he can finish what he is saying, the door rings.

. . .

Sarah

I am about to yell at him to just spit it out when I hear my aunt yell through the door. What now?! Frustrated, I get up and walk over to answer the door. When I pull it open I see my aunt, Nerida and little brother, Tito, standing there. I almost laugh at the fact that Nerida has Tito by the ear and an irate look on her face.

“It’s time for you to take care of him. I didn’t sign up for this shit when I agreed to raise him. I know I wasn’t supposed to bring him here until you turned 25 but I can’t take it. Children aren’t supposed to do that and I didn’t agree to take care of an animal.” Nerida rants before I can ask her what she’s doing here. My brother was five when my parents were killed. Nerida agreed to take care of him till I was old enough to care for him. We agreed on when I was 25 but she shouldn’t have come here to give him to me for another two years.

“What do you mean, ‘a child isn’t supposed to do that’? What did he do?” I ask cautiously

“Breathe fire.”

My eyes go wide at the comment. Shit. That means…

“Okay, I’ll take care of him. I know what’s going on but I can’t tell you. You need to get somewhere save and you can’t tell anyone about this. Apparently my parents were more secretive than they let on. I can have a place for you to stay that no one will find.” I rush to get Tito in the house and grab Nerida and Tito’s hand. They will go after her if she doesn’t hide I’ve got to get her to Enki, he’s helped my parents before he has to help now. I’ll just erase her identity and they won’t be able to find any trace of her. I race through the house and go to turn down the stairs but before I can, someone grabs my arm. I am jerked back and look to the hand that grabbed me. I trace it up till I see that Lamar is speaking to me.

“Sarah, what’s wrong? Who are they and why are you freaking out?” Lamar asks

“Oh, sorry. Everyone, this is my aunt, Nerida, and my brother, Tito.” I say before turning back to Lamar and quieting my voice, “To answer your other question. I was just informed that my brother breathes fire.” I say frantically to Lamar, “Tito is staying here, can you take him and get him something to eat. I need to get my aunt to safety.” I finish saying before I turn to Ramos and say, “I need your help, is there any distance restrictions on your ability to transport?”

“No, I am a demon of the core, I have no earthly limitations on my powers.” Ramos says before Lamar starts to protest.

“What?! Where are you going, and what do you mean? Why would your aunt need to be protected?”

I merely glare at him and his stupidity, “Really, my parents worked with the government, who, might I add, forced them to experiment on me and then possibly killed them, and you are asking why she needs protected?” I ask in a low voice, trying not to upset Nerida. It was after all her sister that I am talking about. At this his eyes go wide. Apparently he didn’t connect the dots. “Look I will be back in a little bit, take care of my brother while I get Nerida to safety. Oh, and please try not to break anything.” I finish my rant and continue pulling Nerida behind me while yelling behind me, “Ramos, come on, we are going to need you if we are going to do this. Alessandro, you to.”

I hear Alessandro start to complain but I ignore him. If he doesn’t help I swear to god . . . I smile at the irony of my thoughts. We race down stairs and I hear Ramos and Alessandro behind me mentally ensuring that they are following my instructions. When we reach the bottom, Nerida yanks her wrist from my grasp and starts hyperventilating. Great, I’ve put her in a state of shock. After I have slowed down, I realize that I can hear her thoughts.

What is she talking about? Why am I in danger? I know that it’s not normal for a kid to breathe fire but who would want to do anything to me because of things I know. Wouldn’t they just think that I’m crazy? I could handle that, but being hunted, I don’t think I can do this. I all started with my sister didn’t it? She and that mess up of a husband. They are responsible for this I just know it. She was supposed to take over the coffee shop when mom and dad died but no, she wanted to make a difference on a bigger scale. Oh she made a difference alright, and now I am stuck running for my life.

I can’t stand her slander anymore. I say in a silent threatening voice, “Aunt Nerida, I don’t care if they were the equivalent of Hitler they are still my parents and you won’t think shit like that around me. I have had a crappy time lately and I don’t need shit from you to. Now we are going to meet Enki and see if he can keep you safe for now.” With this made clear to my aunt Nerida I commanded her out of my head. At this her eyes were wide and almost brimming with tears. “Don’t cry, we don’t have time for tears.” I say and then turn to Ramos, “Let’s go, everyone put a hand on Ramos’s shoulder and we will go. Alessandro, think of Enki and where he lives, above ground preferably.” We all put a hand on Ramos shoulder.

We are transported to Enki’s home and, luckily, Alessandro refrained from being an ass. I look forward, seeing the spot where the rivers meet. Before I can call Enki, I see that someone is already there.

“I see events have been set into motion. I presume you are Sarah. You look like your mother.” The being responds

“Enki. Though you don’t resemble your murals. Other than the beard, you don’t wear anything you are depicted in, but I am not here to discuss the state of your dress. I require a few things and I believe you can help me.” I say, attempting to portray an essence of calm. I need to be respectful. He smirks and almost doubles over laughing at my comment.

“I don’t get it, what’s funny.”

“I am the high god of wisdom and just watching you restrain your questions amuses me. That along with your reputation.” At my surprise he elaborates, “You really think that I would leave but one person to observe you and that my people wouldn’t update me? Yes, I have heard many things about you, including your infamous personality.”

“Fine, I’ll jump to the chase. First, can you please hide my aunt, Nerida? I fear that the government is going to use her against me to get me to do whatever they want. Second, I have quite a few questions and things that I need cleared up.”

“That’s more like it. Yes, I can help keep Nerida safe. I see that you are developing the wisdom I gifted you. That’s good, you’ll need that for the upcoming war. As for the questions there are a few things that if you know now will alter the way history is to take place. So you can ask all the questions you want but some I won’t be able to answer.”

“Okay, fair enough. I would like to get Nerida settled before I ask my questions. I don’t want to take any chances should something happen.”

“Sounds good. Follow me.” He starts walking before I can say anything. I stop him before he can go farther into the rivers.

“Wait, Nerida and I can’t breathe underwater. How are we supposed to follow you and what about Ramos? Alessandro may be a mythological creature that breaths underwater, but the rest of us aren’t.”

“I can put a bubble around Nerida and Ramos but how are you sure you can’t breathe underwater. Have you ever tried?”

I stare at him blankly, stunned at his comment “What all abilities did you give me?”

“We will wait till we get into my home to discuss more if you are truly concerned with Nerida’s safety.” He says right before diving into the rivers. I watch the bubble he conjured around Nerida and Ramos follows him before I dive in after him.

As I dive down into the depths of the Tigris and Euphrates, I realize the light doesn’t dim the farther down we go. Although surprised at the obvious fundamental problem, I set it aside to pay attention to following Enki. “For a god he really doesn’t move fast.” As I finish the thought, Enki looks back at me. “Great, he’s listening to my thoughts. I already have one person to do that I don’t need a god doing that too.”

It’s not long till we get to an opening in the side of the river. “Why is it so small, I thought this was the house of a god?” I think as we swim through a man-hole cover sized entrance. After a few seconds of swimming I realize my mistake. I look as the hole opens up to a mansion sized cave. We swim into what looks like grand hall, sparkling with pearl colored walls that have been tainted blue by the water. I see a stair case leading up above the water and start swimming up the stairs after Enki. We reach the top of the stairs and are out of the water.

“No disrespect, but, what the hell did you do to me?” I say to Enki as he lets Ramos and Nerida out of the bubble. He takes his sweet time answering my question, rising my ire. Finally he responds.

“I gifted you. I can explain the extent of that here.” He finishes, motioning to a doorway that I hadn’t noticed. Reluctantly, I enter and see a study. With a couple of couches, a fire and books lining the walls, it feels homey. “Why would the god of water and knowledge need a fire? I walk forward and sit as similar thoughts race through my mind. I watch as Enki follows Ramos and my aunt into the room, shutting the door.

“Now, I’m sure you are wanting answers to a lot of questions. Before we do that though, I am going to go get Nerida settled in. I’ll be right back to answer your questions, feel free to explore but please stay in this room.” He says before leading my aunt out of the room. I am about to follow and make sure she’s fine when I hear,

“He won’t hurt her Sarah. Stop being so worrisome.” I turn and watch as Ramos sits down on the couch I just vacated. I glare at him but concede his point, deciding to instead look at Enki’s book collection. As I scour the titles, I’m awe stricken. Are these original works? I wonder as I read through titles of the most famous authors throughout time. An original copy of The Odyssey!? The written ideals of Plato himself?! Before I get much farther and awe stricken by his collection, Enki comes back in. The sound of the door closing startles me. So much for heightened hearing. I really need to learn to pay closer attention to my surroundings. As I finish the thought, I walk over to the couch and sit next to Ramos. While turned toward the door, I ask Enki, “So what’s your side of the story”

He responds, “My side of the story? It’s your past, not a crime scene Sarah. You’re going to need to accept what happened to you at some point. You need to be ready because you are the revolution. Your parents knew the government was wrong and were trying to stop them seven years ago. That’s why they were killed. Your parents got most of the geneticists to join the revolution but it was stopped once the government found out. Their deaths were made to look like freak accidents. It’s terrible what happened to them but that was seven years ago. You need to let it go and live in the now because the lives of millions depend on it. You were brought to my attention when you were started in the program. I had been monitoring the government’s progression into my world and knew something would happen but it wasn’t that time. I would have made an army and destroyed the program if your parents hadn’t brought the hybrid portion of the program to my attention. They saved your life. They asked me to do something that I never have. When your parents were given an ultimatum, either do what the government asks or risk everything they loved being taken away and their memories wiped, they decided to be strategic about it. They came to us as a group.”

At this I make him pause, “Whoa, hold up, what do you mean came to you as a group?”

“Just what I said, your parents came to a group of gods and asked us if we would bless you. Most of us agreed because of the impending desolation of the Maalamat.”

“What are you referring to by Maalamat?”

“That is what we are. All creatures homo-sapiens believe to be mythological are called Maalamat.”

“Then why did I never hear that name, and what do you mean most of a group of gods gifted me?”

“Why are you asking questions of things that I have already stated? Do you think I would lie? To answer your first question, you don’t know the name because you would have to be a Maalamat. It is imperative that only those who are Maalamat know the name because of the power it can bring. Now will you let me finish explaining or do you want to continually interrupt me with questions, further hindering the amount of information you will acquire?”

I sheepishly respond, “I’ll wait till you’re done to ask questions.”

“Thank you. Now, back to The Protiv.”

Right as I am about to question what he means by that, I see him look at me with a stern look and wait rather impatiently for him to continue. He continues with a smirk, “Our group that your parents talked to is called The Protiv. It includes Baldr, Ershkigal, Atropos, Ve and myself. We created the group to monitor and stop the invasion into the Maalamat society. Your parents brought you in front of the Protiv and we decided the best course of action was to gift you and train you when the time came. That time is now. You need to start training, that’s where Ramos comes in. He will be your guide in this revolution. He signed an agreement to honor you as your innocent, in return, he receives a pardon per se. In light of your parents demise and his capture, he is allowed the time to train and guide you.”

I am too stunned to process what he said. Oh . . . my . . . god. Life just got a whole lot harder.My mind races with the obvious questions as I try to process what he just told me. Okay, how the hell am I supposed to process this? I got gifts from five gods and I’m supposed to be kosher?! Yeah right! What the hell abilities did they gift me with anyways? This has to be a joke.

At the thought, I look at Enki and note the seriousness of his expression, nope not a joke. As the thoughts monopolize my mind, a random realization strikes me, Where is Alessandro? At this, I look around and start growing suspicious. Did that little shit freak out again?

When I finish the thought, I hear Enki answer my silent inquiry, “I sent Alessandro back to his job, I can’t have the government getting suspicious and connecting dots, now can I.”

With this, I ask, “How many departments of the government have you infiltrated?”

“All of them, of course.”

My jaw drops as this realization sinks in. With awe coursing through me, I ask, “What governments have you infiltrated?”

“We have people on all of the continents and you think we would avoid politics? Come on, I gifted you with intellect and wisdom, now use it. You’re starting to make me wonder if you’re the one I gifted. We have infiltrated every government but the American government, along with a few others, have resisted te knowledge of intellectual beings. When this happened, we were forced to take alternative measures, but I am telling you too much, you must return.”

He starts to stand but I stop him for the most important question I need answered, “Wait! Just answer one more question. What am I am I able to do with the abilities I was gifted?”

He sits back down, leaning forward in his chair, he responds, “First, even though you were gifted, all your abilities will come when you need them and not all at once. This is because, as you have noticed, it takes a toll on you. Second, what you will be able to do can’t be matched by any one being, if it could you wouldn’t be strong enough for your destiny. Now, Baldr made sure you would be able to recognize when someone is not telling the truth, no matter who it is. He decided that would be the most useful and least destructive of his abilities he could have gifted you. Ereshkigal gave you the ability to control demons with ill intent. The only limitation that has been set on you is that it won’t work if you are trying to make them do something immoral. Atropos gave you the ability to see scenes in the future. It only works with life or death situations that are an imminent threat. Ve gave you the ability of creation. He was a little concerned with gifting you but relented with one stipulation. Anything you create can’t do harm. Finally, I gifted you with all of my abilities. With this comes great responsibility. You have already developed a few of them, with the water, intellect, and wisdom. I am warning you though, when you get the ability to manipulate life and death, you must think of all the consequences. Everything happens for a reason, this is where the magical knowledge comes into play. You will understand and in some cases see the threads of life and essence connecting people. This is all I can tell you and the most I can prepare you without throwing the fates out of line.”

He then turns to Ramos, “Take her back to the cabin and talk. Something’s coming and she needs to be prepared.”


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111 Reviews


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Sun Jun 29, 2014 1:33 am
rawrafied wrote a review...



'Ello~~~! Rawrafied here, representing team Rugido Sol on this fine Review Day. I must admit, I've not read any of the previous chapters, so I won't touch on any of the logic. I'm going to go line by line and pick out anything that catches my eye, okay? :3

He opens his mouth to continue but before he can, Sarah interrupts.
Put a comma before 'but' because it's a conjunction, and a comma before 'before' because the portion in between can be omitted without disrupting flow and logic in the sentence.

“You didn’t let me finish.” Alessandro snaps,
Put the comma after finish, since the tag is referring to that (cause I doubt he could snappily say the remaining portion). Then put a period after snaps since the first quote is a complete sentence.

Oh and they have webbed feet. So you see, that doesn’t fit his description at all.” Sarah says before turning to Alessandro, “Why would Enki make a deal with you? What is this deal anyway?”
Same issue as above.

“I was getting to that part if everyone would stop interrupting me.” Alessandro said with ire clear in his voice.
Comma instead of period after 'me' because it's a speech tag.

“As I was saying. The Sumerian god Enki wanted me to watch over you and if anything should happen with the government I was supposed to inform him that it had started.
Commas around 'Enki' since it is referring to 'sumerian god'. Commas around 'if anything should happen with the government' because it could be omitted without disrupting the logic and flow of the story. Also, would suggesting putting a comma after 'saying' since that's an intro, not a complete sentence.

I am pretty sure
A little nitpick. Realistically, someone would use the conjunction 'I'm' rather than the full 'I am' in speech.

I'm going to stop here. Hope this was helpful. ^_^




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Sun Jun 01, 2014 11:46 pm
rocketdog11 wrote a review...



Hello, jls1638...rocketdog11 here for my first review. I'm not much of a veteran to this site at least, but nevertheless...so yeah. Anyway, I just want to say first that your story is really interesting...I look forward to seeing where it goes. It does do a pretty good job of catching the readers up with the story, but I see some things that may need fixing to make them even clearer.

In other words, if you don't mind, I have to be a little nit-picky. Nothing mean, just a little constructive criticism. So, here goes.

"They will go after her if she doesn't hide I've got to get her to Enki"

I'm sure you didn't mean to make this a run-on sentence, and that's ok. But it does make your message a little garbled. A period or an "and" may be your best bet.

"go to turn down the stairs"

I know what you're trying to say, but I think it may be better to say something like "turn to go downstairs" or something similar.

"...why she needs protected?"

This may just be a typo. But all the same, you should still watch them to make your story clearer.

"silent threatening voice"

It might make more sense, if she's threatening someone, to just say "in a threatening voice" or simply "as a threat".

"put a hand on Ramos shoulder"

All you need to watch for here is the apostrophes (for example, Ramos'). Also try to vary your word choice a little bit, because you say "put a hand on Ramos' shoulder" twice in one paragraph.

"I don't get it, what's funny."

It may be better to separate these two with a period instead of a comma.

"Wait, Merida and I can't breathe underwater..."

Again, you may need to watch for your run-on sentences.

"...He says"

This may be just a nit-picky thing, but usually you don't need to capitalize when you say someone said something.

"He starts to stand..."

First, I think this is great. It emphasizes that there is one last thing she needs to ask, but if he goes, she won't get another chance for a very long time. But, you tend to offset your lines of dialogue with "so-and-so said, comma, quotation". It may be better to just say it once, because it is easier to follow lots of lines of dialogue (which it appears you do) without the distractions of "he said" or "she responded" or something like that. Also, with an action followed by a quote, you don't need a comma, but a period instead.

That's the end of the nit-picky section. I just have a couple of general things to think about.

Whenever you start a new quotation, you should put it on a new line. Otherwise readers tend to get confused about who is speaking when.

Also, be more careful with your commas and periods. They tend to hang out in places that they aren't necessary. At the same time, some sentences don't have them, and you should also watch for that.

Hope this helps. Keep on writing, even if after this you think I dragged you down with all of this stuff. It's really very good.





We are all broken. That's how the light gets in.
— Ernest Hemingway