Long live our beautiful friendships
With their laughs and miseries.
The pains we now treasure
Will forever be living.
Remember the times we laughed,
The times cried,
And the times shared.
I feel so nostalgic.
The memories flood into my head,
Carving into me forever.
They are part of me.
Long lived past time.
We were grass in a field,
Fresh and free.
The memories are part of me.
Long lived past time.
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140,581 Literary Works • 673,530 Reviews
I'm sure youll get better as a writer since youre only 14. i kind of like this because its about growing up and growing apart. its about friendship and thats a nice thing. i don't like the lines "long lived past time" it just doesn't sound right. i edited your poem to what i would do it. the last two stanzas are my favorites. + imagery
This is a short, sweet, enjoyable poem. Nice work overall. I just have a few nitpicks...
I think you mean "The times we cried" because it's not the times themselves doing the crying.
The period at the end of "me" somewhat jars the lines, I think a comma would be better suited. Also, I think it should be "long live" in the present tense, not the past, because you are suggesting that the memories continue to live on.
Hello imaginemymind! I love your poem- it has a slightly haunting feel to me but is at the same time a beautiful story. The last stanza has some repetition of the stanza before. I don't know if that was intentional but it might sound better if you re-worded them both a little bit.
Love it!
-Sage