The symphony flows through my veins like a dose of medicine,
Drums beat so loud I can't hear my own thoughts,
Escaping this world to grab a hold of my life again,
The music keeps me bold and never distraught.
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140,239 Literary Works • 673,051 Reviews
Again,OMG I won't rant. When tackling a simple concept like music. Please Be more descriptive or you will end up sounding like your narrating a product for a commercial .in this case a headphones commercial. Sorry just being honest.Your lines could be cut in half so the poem looks better.I think you had the potential to create a way better poem here.Making it longer will
help it a whole lot.
You have managed to completely read my mind, Every time i listen to music I escape from reality and go into my life and relax. Because I can be myself without people judging me, and I can block all my thoughts out. I think you have managed to capture that perfectly and I know a lot of people can relate to this wonderful poem.
Very incredible! This poem pretty much sums up on how music affects me. You could add more to it if you wanted, but then it might get to jumbled and lose some of its meaning. Being so simple, many people can relate to it.
There isn't much to correct, except for there should be a comma after loud.
Keep this simple, incredible poems coming!
As many others have said, your poem is very effective, and I happened to enjoy it. To me, it doesn't matter how long a poem is, as long as it gets the point across. Which yours did. Great job!
Hi ilovegeeks!
Usually I would give the same advice as @lunae below me ("flesh it out"), but for this piece, I actually think the length is irrelevant. (I mean, if you want to make it longer, I wouldn't be complaining, but I'm not highly suggesting it either.)
The reason for this is because I think the words you use in this poem are so effective and powerful on their own. To me, this poem seems like a strong statement expressing how wonderful and lifting music makes you feel. I could really feel the message you were trying to portray through this piece, and that's always a great thing.
Really, I have no suggestions. Smashing job!
Overall rating: 9.5/10
Keep writing!
+1
Hello!!
There is something about this that sounds so much like song, and that fits so much with the title and content i love it!!!
Your fourth line is such a great way to end this but i feel like this is just a stanza and you need to flesh it out a little bit.
Overall i think the idea of what you have started is great, and you say that you did this in five minutes so imagine what you can do in a half hour!!
I hope to see more of this, it is really beautiful!!
Hello!!
There is something about this that sounds so much like song, and that fits so much with the title and content i love it!!!
Your fourth line is such a great way to end this but i feel like this is just a stanza and you need to flesh it out a little bit.
Overall i think the idea of what you have started is great, and you say that you did this in five minutes so imagine what you can do in a half hour!!
I hope to see more of this, it is really beautiful!!
Ahoy! Cap'n Salt Water here with a review for you!
Well, here is the cold, harsh, truth. I love it! It has a good flow, it is very short though. But I find something that isn't my favorite thing. On the first line, you started a sentence, you ended the line with a comma, and then on the next line you capitalized the first letter of the first word. I find it very unappealing with poetry like that. Otherwise, I really like it. It does have a real hook on to it, like you need to continue it. Anyways, you have a good rhyme scheme, it flows very well, and it is appealing. I would like to see more of your poems! Don't give up and always write, ilovegeeks!
-CaptainSaltWater