Warning: This work has been rated 18+.
⛓Battle of Pride⛓
TW: 18+ | Slight Descriptions of Violence | Mature Language
Enzo Eclipse
PT 394, Dimension Y-496
Enzo sat at the bar inside of the hotel he was staying at. He’d planned to go and find Hestia now that he heard good news about Petra’s recovery. His feelings about her were floating around in his head like the stir of good alcohol. After spending the entire day with her previously, something felt different about being alone. Usually it was what he liked, and yet, he felt a lingering feeling of emptiness. He’d get a similar feeling when he was away from Petra for long. The bartender came to him almost out of breath with a letter in hand.
“Mister, seems like someone is urgently requesting your presence! I was told to deliver this letter with haste. It is addressed with your name on it.” She informed.
Enzo took the letter and quickly opened it. He felt an air of anxiety creep into his heart as he unearthed the sender’s name, only to find it was anonymous.
Enzo, I’ve been drug into your madness once again, and now I crave your blood. If you want answers, come and find me at the Tournament of The Gods. Put your name under “Nova”.
Thanks.
“How the hell did Nova make it to this dimension?” Enzo nearly spit out his drink at the sight of the letter.
The travel into the Tournament of The Gods was easier than he thought. The hardest part about it was shuffling through people who all wanted to get in. It seemed even Hades was in attendance, because a giant three-headed Cerberus guarded the entrance. If he decided he didn’t want to let a spectator in, they were sent on a one-way trip to Tartarus. When Enzo arrived, there were two doors. A spectator door, and a participation door, which was much less occupied. According to the sign, it was amateur match day. Like Nova had alluded to, there was his name. Enzo groaned, realizing that he and Nova’s match were next on the list. Enzo peeked into the tournament area, where there was a match going on.
Son of Hermes, Polybus, and son of Apollo, Aristaeus clashed swords in the middle of the ring. There were various weapons laid about the tournament battlefield. Enzo watched as Polybus charged up with an immense amount of lightning, moving around just as fast, or faster than his father. He smashed Aristaeus to dust with every weapon conceivable. Broke his ribs with maces strewn throughout, slashed his arms and legs with swords and polearms alike, and laid a final kick to the jaw in a bloody fireworks display that got the crowd clamoring for more. All Enzo could think about was keeping his lunch down.
“This next match is sure to be an interesting bout! Both fighters allegedly “appeared” from nowhere within the past day! Enzo Eclipse, a human from Earth, father unknown, and “Nova”, a human from Earth, father unknown! Will these humans be able to give us a show?! Make some noise!” The announcer screamed.
Enzo came out into the arena, he had nothing but his hands to assist him, and his mask he didn’t quite understand how to use yet. He saw Nova come out into the arena, bare chested. He’d tied his hair back into a neat bun, and fury burned from his green eyes.
Enzo was still dressed in his attire from days before. He’d shedded the suit-jacket that fit him for the white button-up and tie. By this point, it had been dirtied from his time playing baseball with Hestia, and now the time that he’d spent traveling Olympus.
“What are you doing here, Nova?” Enzo immediately demanded.
“The people will be mad if we don’t give them a show! If you can survive this, maybe I’ll think about answering that question. What’ve you been doing since you got out, huh Enzo? Show me if the Yakuza life still fits you.”
Enzo recognized this. It was the same animal that he’d first fought in the simulation. It finally felt like Nova was coming out to play again. Something inside of him felt giddy with excitement upon the realization. The last time Nova and Enzo had fought, Nova’d caught him by surprise, and he had a weapon. This time, they were on even ground.
Enzo removed his shirt, throwing it into the air and watching the wind whisk it to the corner of the tournament ring. The crowd had grown tired of their standoff, they pleaded for the fight to get started. “Fight, fight, fight!”
“Nice Irezumi.” Nova said. “Still, looks like you’ve been slacking.”
Regrettably, Nova was right. Due to his intense training, he was in peak perfect condition, especially for a human. Enzo had begun to lose much of the muscle that he’d gained when he was in the simulation. Still, he stood strong.
Enzo grabbed a tonfa that was laid about the ground. Nova easily dodged around the swing. Like a snake, he wrapped Enzo’s hand up and snapped the tonfa like a twig.
“Let’s keep this a slugfest.” He gloated.
Enzo nodded in appreciation, and the two men each let fists fly. Slamming their fists right in between each other's jaws. They were met with praise from the crowd.
“Wow! It looks like the two fighters are agreeing to a no-weapons brawl! This should be good!” The announcer shouted, trying to rile up the crowd.
The two men had the same training. Same master, same everything. In Enzo’s simulation, he’d trained with a dangerous man named Easan, who was also Nova’s master. In his muddled memories, he remembered training with Nova, even if the contemptuous Nova didn’t remember him.
They traded blows like they were from the same school. Every move that Nova could throw out, Enzo knew the counter to, and same for Nova. However, Nova hadn’t stopped training. He bit like a black mamba with every strike. Whenever Enzo landed a good hit, he smiled and hit Enzo faster and harder.
Finally, Enzo’s fortitude began to crumble. He stumbled back after Nova sunk his fist into his stomach. He didn’t let up, landing a spinning kick directly into Enzo’s chest which sent him spiraling across the sand. Nova stood over Enzo and grabbed him by the shoulder, delivering a haymaker into his eye, which quickly sprouted into a bruise. The crowd went wild at the violence. “Sorry Enzo…I have to please my fans.”
Nova picked Enzo up by the hair, he delivered a bone shattering kick into his head, spattering blood throughout the battlefield. It seemed the crowd came to it’s peak. Finally, Nova kept Enzo on the ground, and sat on his stomach, prepared to pummel him to death, when he flashed his secret weapon.
He pulled a biosphere stone from his pocket. For the crowd, he went to deliver a final punch to Enzo’s face, when they disappeared in a bright yellow light.
________________________________________________________________________
They arrived in the monastery overlooking Nova’s zen garden. Enzo laid on the hard wood, beaten and battered. Nova threw a handkerchief over his face.
“Clean yourself up, and then we can talk.”
He dragged himself to a sink in the corner of the monastery with a mirror hanging over it. There, he saw his face beaten to a pulp. A black eye and a gnarly bruise on his cheek. There was blood spattered on his upper chest.
Nova approached from his back with a towel that had been soaked with soap and water. As Enzo cleaned the blood from his face and chest, Nova began to gently clean his irezumi with the soap and water.
“One of the inconsistencies with the simulation was that we didn’t have to clean our tattoos after getting them. Makes sense that you wouldn’t know to do such a thing. In the real world, aftercare for your irezumi is important. That pain you feel? It is a sign that your irezumi should not be shown to the world yet. Still, you bore it in our fight as if it would scare me off. Old school Yakuza like you are a joke…”
“Why didn’t you get your Irezumi restored once you left the simulation?”
“Because I’m looking towards the future. Those old clans were my way of survival. I was basically forced into an oath at gunpoint. That sound like an oath of honor to you?”
“I practically had to get on my knees and beg for Kubota to let me join.”
Kubota was Enzo’s head of his family when he was working for the Yakuza in the simulation. Shinichi Kubota was never the strongest, or the smartest man among the many families, but he was one thing, cunning, and with an army of loyal followers. He was looked down on as a slimy old bastard, which he was. He took pity on Enzo and his sister, who were homeless at the time.
Nova let Enzo borrow one of his robes, and they each sat overlooking the zen garden. Nova handed Enzo some warm tea. Its smoke traveled infinitely up into the air, painting the sky with a dim air of gray. “So hit me with it, why were you in Olympus?” Enzo asked.
“One of those members of that council you like so much was looking for you. She looked like me and everything.”
“The Council of Terra came to find you?”
“Seems like it, now that Hestia could be anywhere, they seem to not even care about getting found out by DRU.”
“Did you join them?” Enzo asked plainly.
“Haven’t decided yet. Let me ask a question for myself, is Hestia in Olympus with you?”
“Why would I tell you?” Enzo replied coldly.
Nova looked up at the sky, watching the tea’s smoke float into the air. The smell was bothersome to someone like Enzo, who tried to drink tea, but didn’t like it all that much. “I know she’s there with you, and this is my warning to do what you do best, and run.”
Enzo laughed. “She’s probably not going to be too happy with me. We had an argument, and now she’s in the castle. Hell, she might even take the Hestia of that dimension’s place.”
“Wow. Wonder why I never thought of that. It’d be a cinch, too.”
“Why didn’t you think of that? I know you hate it here.”
“Because I don’t run. Think back to your sister, Enzo.”
“I’m nothing like you, I care about my past, and I’m not forgetting Emi.”
“Not forget. Move on. What would you have done if it was Emi? If it was Emi, in the middle of Olympus about to do something she’ll regret for the rest of her life? This is what I said about old-school Yakuza. You don’t learn. My advice? Move on, but don’t forget the lessons you learned.”
“What do you plan on doing?” Enzo asked, deep in thought. His eyes now flew to the sky, where Nova stayed looking. “Are you gonna join them?”
“I’ve made my decision. I wonder how fast your legs can carry you” Nova trailed off. He laid on the ground, looking straight to the sky. Enzo was in his view, he held up his hand to block out the sun, and Enzo. “Next time I see you, I’m burying the last living part of my past, for good.”
Enzo felt a shudder travel up his back. Nova wasn’t kidding, and he’d likely be dead if he was caught unprepared.
He made a beeline for Zeus’ castle.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hello Again, My Friend!
It’s me, Raven, and I’m here to review the next chapter in this great story, using my Familiar method! Let’s dive right in, shall we?
~ A full analysis and breakdown
okay, WOW, that quickly spiraled into something even more gnarly than before!! Immediately, we're met with the worst possible instance to meet Nova in, at least for Enzo. Literally just raw fist-to-fist combat. Followed by a meeting that, passive as it was, carried some scary undertones about where this story is going...Let's get into the details though.
Plot and Pacing: Great! The fight built up a nice amount of tension, and I thought it showed off Nova's own vague connection to Olympus, given he's a version of Terra and all. Not to mention, given what we were left with, maaaybe some eerie foreshadowing too...
Descriptions and Setting: Awesome! Both the gross-out fight details, and the tranquil zen garden. You nailed the vibe of either!
Action: BRUTAL!! As nasty as weapons can be, there's something about a raw fist fight that makes a fight feel more personal and more brutal in its own way, and I love that you stuck to that as the mode of combat for Enzo and Nova here. Plus, Nova vs Enzo unarmed is clearly a slanted fight, armed Nova with Olympian weapons just sounds op XDD
Characterization: Man, sounds like Nova is a lot more confident about where he is going, than Enzo. Something that can be such a boost in power, or a subtle kryptonite, and in this case, it sure sounds like the former. While Enzo is "hming and hawing" about DRU, the council, Petra and Hestia, Nova's just over here going for it! That probably won't end well for them...
Grammar and Wording: Overarchingly? Looks fine to me!
~ Some nitpicks and little recommendations
The only thing I could think to shove here this time is something that's REALLY contested, so take this with a biiiig grain of salt...
Gramatically speaking, I think "dragged" fits here. But phonetically speaking, "drug" sounds fine too? I lean toward the former in terms of blunt accuracy, but the latter in terms of just speaking style, so take that as you will!!
~ My reactions, theories, and favorite parts
Hm, no theories for this chapter, so let's move straight into some highlights and reactions!
Aw, sounds like Enzo's so lonely. Maybe missing his sister, or his Yakuza brother, and not even realizing it until he's really alone...Poor guy.
OKAY, that's quite a way to phrase "I'm annoyed and need to talk to you!" O_o
Brutalllllllllllllll, also METAL af XD Seriously, I always love how you show off your bloody-gore-cringe skills with your fights!!! >:D
Ooo, the challenge here!! I don't remember reading a moment where Nova came off this spicy, I like it—and again, I think this kinda shows how Olympus might bring out a different side of him!
This was a great reminder to include! It made the fight more interesting, considering it.
Oh dear...Not the best response to hear in this situation @.@
WOW, that was a lot!! One minute, this guy's pummeling your face, the next he's helping clean your tattoo and make you tea, then he's threatening your friend and saying he'll kill you. I kinda like these types of semi-crazy and unpredictable characters, hard as they can be to pull off sometimes, and as someone who loves both Nova and Enzo's characters so far, I am so nervous yet excited to see how this will end up!!
MadThoughts...Overall, this was awesome! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
Nova is a lot more self-oriented himself. I love the types of badass characters that show up every once in a while to just clean shop. Like Mace Windu from Star Wars or Iroh from Avatar The Last Airbender (when he decides to try).
Sameee, love that vibe!! >:D
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the jinxed S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Enzo goes into a fighting match with Nova and fails miserably, Nova teleports him to his house and cleans him up, then Enzo gets prepared to go to Zeus’ castle to find Hestia!
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - In the last line that talks about someone being dead if they were unprepared, I assumed that this line was talking about Enzo. But is it talking about Nova? I was just wondering.
Chocolate Bar - I love how you described the fight Enzo and Nova had, because it really shows how much Nova has trained and has me wondering…why is bro so mad? He really was relentless with Enzo! I also like that Enzo doesn’t want to forget about his past or “move on”, because he loves Emi and his life in the simulation, as it felt very real and true to him.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, I enjoyed reading this chapter! I hope that Enzo will be ready to fight and that he and Nova will be on better terms with each other! I am going to be reading the other chapters soon to catch up and so…
I wish you a glorious day/night! ^v^
haha I like your comment about why Nova is so mad.
I think its probably because hes moved on from his life in the simulation and he sees Enzo as immature for not accepting his past like he did
I guess I can understand that. I also can understand Enzo, though.
Can%u2019t wait for more!