Warning: This work has been rated 18+.
⛓Pigmentation⛓
TW: 18+ | Slight Descriptions of Violence | Mature Language
PT 394, Dimension Y-062
Hestia Lorenz
The sun cut through the rusted open window next to the bed Hestia laid in. Once her mother’s. Last night she quickly fell into a deep sleep. Perhaps the spirit of her mother laid with her in that bed that night. Thoughts of her Mother flooded her mind as she slowly got up. The last thing Rhea wanted was to leave her child at such a young age, and yet, fate willed it so. Fate? Or bad luck?
She slipped out of the room. Across the way was Terra’s old room, Enzo and Petra were still sleeping when Hestia peeked in the door. She wandered down the hall and into the living room. At the end of the hallway, there was the kitchen to the right and the living room to the left. Hestia’s lingering anxiety about Petra made it so she stayed put inside the house, and yet, there was still so much to see.
Ideas of exploring the house quickly exited Hestia’s mind when she saw something protruding out of Enzo’s backpack. After a brief look at other belongings, she found it. A baseball bat! When it rested in her hands, she felt the energy return to her body. She lightly swung the bat, making a garish woosh sound as she disrupted the air.
“Hey.” A voice caused Hestia to recoil in embarrassment. She saw Enzo standing in the hallway she had just come from. “Did you used to play ball?” He asked.
She regained her composure. “Yeah. I used to play, but I wasn’t very good.”
“Pff, sure. Why don’t we play ball, then?”
Hestia responded with puzzlement. “Isn’t Petra still asleep? Won’t we get in trouble?”
“For playing a game of baseball? Don’t kid around. Let’s go! You lead the way. It’s your town, isn’t it?”
They left the house with haste. Enzo slung his bag over his back and led the way. Hestia recognized many of the landmarks in the small town as they walked. As a kid, they came to Terra’s old house every weekend as a sort of ritual. The small town setting was comfortable, and for better or worse, many of Rhea’s friends and family lived in the same area. Hestia grew to know and love the small town, despite not understanding the meaning that Terra held to her family, aside from her being her deceased grandmother.
The town held much of its appeal, aside from the remnants of red matter that had come from Radio’s attack. Luckily, the beauty came from it being a ghost town. In a roundabout way, the town was better like this. Nobody in sight.
The baseball field was spotless. No red, rocky material. As ‘normal’ as it could get in the dead world. There was a convenient bucket of baseballs near the pitching mound. Enzo hustled over. Hestia arrived at home base, gripping the bat anxiously. As she set herself up to bat, she felt memories flood back of her last time batting. She had only dreamed of touching a bat since that day, to reclaim the honor she lost that day.
Now, the wind was dead, the trees quiet, the dust stationary.
“Strike one, Hestia’s out to lunch!”
Hestia regained her composure. She had swung without even thinking, and long after the ball had flown past her. “Focus. Eyes up. I don’t care if nobody’s watching.” Hestia’s subconscious shouted. With one swing, she sent the ball into the woods. It bound over Enzo’s head, and maintained its trajectory until it landed over the fence.
“Hey! Homerun! You were just being modest.” Enzo congratulated her.
They played for a couple more rounds switching places between batter and pitcher until the bucket of balls was empty. Afterwards, the pair walked through the town.
“I don’t think I can ever play baseball again after being embarrassed like that. I had no idea you used to play.” Enzo commented. He looked at Hestia with beaming eyes.
“I haven’t since I was inducted into the council.” Hestia responded, upon falling into a silence, she felt Enzo’s need for answers surrounding the council, and continued. “The council kept me safe for…about fourteen years now. I was never allowed to leave because of the danger that it meant. If I left, there was an increased chance of being found by DRU. Since the council remained unknown by them, I had no choice but to stay. I was like a caged animal. A shining beacon of hope for all Terras. Of course, they treated me well, kept me fed, all that. One day I just…couldn’t handle it. So I left.”
They sat down on the side of the road while Hestia continued her story.
“Why’d you leave? I mean, it seems like you had it good there.”
“One of the skills I learned was tattooing. Many of the Terras there had been branded with the mark of a phoenix in some way, they wanted to wear it with pride. It was my job to beautify them. Every once and a while, I’d screw one up, and they’d get pretty mad. Usually I’d have to deal with Little Terra. She was the one who led the council, the one with horns. I was relieved of my duties, and I basically became her pet. She never had a family of her own, so I guess she wanted me to be like a daughter. Doesn’t help that she lived in Hell for years after her death in her dimension. So, she was pretty brutal.”
Hestia rolled down a side of her shirt to expose her shoulder. There was a gnarly burn mark that had been left there. Presumably by Little Terra.
“God. I’m sorry about that. All the more reason we have to keep you away from the council.” He insisted. “Hey, sorry to change the subject on you, but you said you were good at doing tattoos, right?”
Hestia stifled a laugh. “Yeah. What about it?”
Enzo pointed to the tattoo shop that sat a bit further down the street. Somehow, the lights still worked. For Enzo, it was just like the simulation, as Hestia shed their belongings, he took his shirt off.
“W-what are you doing?” Hestia stumbled over her words.
“I want you to ink my back.”
Unlike the simulation, his back was featureless. As a member of the Yakuza family known as the Kubota clan in nineteen eighty-eight, it was a rite of passage for someone like Enzo to have a tattoo inked on his back to signify his devotion to his family.
“You know I was grown in a lab to become someone similar to Terra’s husband, right?”
“Yeah. You were in a simulation for most of your life, right?”
“That’s right. I grew up in Kabukicho, Japan in the nineteen-eighties. I was part of the Yakuza. We consider ourselves “Gokudo”. It means something like “the extreme path” to English speakers. I was pretty much indoctrinated into the Yakuza as soon as I went to Japan.”
“So that means you had a tattoo, right?”
“We call them Irezumi, for Yakuza, we were to keep our Irezumi hidden unless we wanted to show it as a form of intimidation. I was inked with Kazunosuke, my sworn brother had Miuranosuke. They were warriors who worked together to defeat the nine-tailed fox, Tamamo no Mae.”
“Okay Mr. Mythology expert. Do you think you can describe to me what this Kazunosuke looks like? I’ll have to draw the design myself, then we can get to inking.”
The two were able to find a large paper that they scaled to Enzo’s back to begin the drawing. Enzo guided Hestia through the process of drawing Kazunosuke. Her lines were gentle, elegant, yet powerful. The Irezumi stayed faithful to the style of old Japanese myth. The image was of Kazunosuke using his bow to pin down the felled Tamamo no Mae, its nine tails radiating behind him like a fire closing in, while a composed Kazunosuke stood atop it, prepared to deliver the final blow. Despite being defeated, Tamamno no Mae had an evil grin on its face. Perhaps it had an ace up its sleeve?
“Do you seriously want to put this on your back?” Hestia asked.
Enzo was already laying on the hydraulic chair with his hands crossed by his head. “I trust you can do it. If you screw up, it only adds character.”
As Hestia started, she questioned “Why do you want me to do this so badly?”
“If nothing else, it’s important for me. Symbolic, I guess. Sorry. It kinda feels like I’m using you for my own means, honestly.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind at all. The hell is so symbolic about this?”
“I think about it as giving the middle finger to the guys that want me to be like this Tempest person. I had my own history, my own life that was nothing like his. This ink on my back isn’t just about devotion, it’s about stating a point. Even if my life was a simulation and nothing was real to someone like you…It was real to me. I’m not letting anyone take that away from me. Don’t you understand?” Enzo barely reacted to the pain that came from the constant incisions the tattoo tool made. He was hyper focused on the conversation.
“I guess I’m like…The only one who can understand. I’ve spent my whole life being compared to immeasurable odds. If I wasn’t as much of a legend as my grandma, I may as well have never existed. If I had one wish, it would be for that pressure to be alleviated. It would mean no council, no comparisons, maybe even no Radio.”
They sat in silence while Rhea traced the ink onto Enzo’s back. Everything was illustrated, but his back lacked color. The transaction felt different for Hestia than other pieces. It wasn’t a command, not like a job. It was a true collaboration between artists. Enzo with the knowledge of his culture and Hestia with the skills. The buzzing of the tattoo pen filled the room, Enzo was bombarded by the vanilla perfume that Hestia used on herself. Hestia turned off the pen before she was able to fill in the eyes of Kazunosuke to check over her piece.
“Enzo. They’re here, I can feel them” Hestia suddenly blurted.
“The council? How’d they find us?”
Hestia used her attunement with the Power of Olympus to sense where they were. It led them closer and closer to Terra’s old house.
“Get a move-on! We can’t afford to lag behind! If worst comes to worst we’ll grab Petra and duck out with the biosphere stone.”
“We can’t do that Enzo…” Hestia stood with her head down. Slowly catching up with Enzo. She held something up in her hand, as if she was presenting it to Enzo. The biosphere stone. Enzo kept calm, he came to Hestia and tried to take it from her hand. She moved so the stone was out of his reach. “My goal wasn’t to get taken to DRU, Enzo. You should know that as well as the next person. I need to leave before you or the Council take me away. DRU are idiots, the Council and I know that well, so I’m going to start a new life.”
“There’s only one reason why you must be telling me all this. You know how to fly under DRU’s radar.”
She nodded sullenly.
“But it means you’d turn into a murderer.”
________________________________________________________________________
Petra Sampson
A faint whirring accompanied Petra as she stood in front of Terra’s old house with her blade drawn. The hair on Petra’s bare leg was baked off. The blade was made out of a resistant metal material that housed liquid plasma; upon activation, it could cut through anything in its path.
“Did you hide away your children? I can’t believe a vampire would care to protect anyone.” Little Terra stepped forth with the two from earlier following closely behind.
Petra stayed silent. She simply raised her blade.
“If you want to fight, this will not end well for you.” she taunted. Her eyes were as dead as the annunciation in her voice. Petra didn’t understand. The youngest, lifelike Terra had no traits like the legends she had heard. However, she could smell it.
“You’re a demon. More demon than human at least. Who gifted you with the horns?”
“My master, Satanael.” She responded as she pulled a staff from her side. “Stay back, you two. I’ve been waiting to put this one in her place.”
Petra held her blade at attention as Little Terra approached her. They quickly engaged in a clash. Petra rebounded as she realized her staff matched her own blade’s heat. It became engulfed in a bright red hellfire.
Petra played to her own strength. Blocking and deflecting blows from her attacker. Little Terra spun and flourished her staff, turning an otherwise predictable set of motions into a hard-to-telegraph display of flames. As she kept up a stone wall of defense, Petra began to see this. With a block and a final push, she repelled Little Terra with a fluid kick to the head. “Somebody’s been forgetting about their training.” Petra taunted.
Little Terra took a latent book from her side. On it’s faded cover, it read “Artemis”. She recited a combination of words foreign to the English language. Petra was suddenly hit with a dizziness. She lost sight of her opponent, who became difficult to read.
“What did she do to me…?” She questioned, all while swearing at herself.
Little Terra held her staff up to her side, ready to smash Petra’s head in.
Crack!
As she swung, the staff was broken directly in half.
“Ow! Ow! That smarts!” Hestia was recoiling from smashing her hand into the flaming staff, now shattered on the ground. Her hand glowed red with the Power of Olympus.
Hestia spoke through her pain. “Now you can’t even take me home! I broke your only way out of here! Stop hunting us. I’m going to do what I want. I’m going to have a life.”
Petra broke through the group of confused Terras, she joined hands with Hestia and Enzo.
Finally, Red Phoenix snapped. She let a piece of her armor fly. Piercing through Petra’s back and out the front of her stomach. It left a clear and significant hole. Blood spattered onto the two as they jumped down to grab her hand. Petra’d been paralyzed by the blow. Followed up by another. Another piece of armor flashed through her upper body. Like she was slowly aiming closer and closer to her heart. Before the next armor piece could fly, they locked hands. Without thought, in a flash of yellow, they disappeared.
“You just had to face her by yourself.” Red Phoenix taunted.
For once, Little Terra’s eyes had a life to them. “I understand. This is not a game anymore. Call the council, we’re going to be leaving this disgusting dimension.” She uttered through gritted teeth.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hello, My Friend!
Hi Noah, it's been some time! It’s me, Raven, back in the review game—and ready for the next chapter in this great story! Let’s dive right in, shall we?
~ A full analysis and breakdown
Woah, this was a great chapter with so much meat to it! I love how you were able to show off some bonding time between Hestia and Enzo, and how they are able to use eachother to just vent and find a moment of relief in this chaos. Then, the fight with the Terras? AWESOME! Let's get into the details though.
Plot and Pacing: Great! Slower, but faaar from boring or feeling like just "filler" content. It didn't even hit me that the bat might hold significance in the story, even knowing Hestia was a ball player, but it makes sense! Then the tattoo and its meaning were awesome, and I love the myth you went with! The sudden, sharp cut to the fight was also well done!
Descriptions and Setting: Lovely! You do a great job building the atmosphere of the small town, and the abandoned field and tattoo parlor. I love how these places can go from peaceful to eerie and terrifying in the blink of an eye, too.
Action: Great! Petra vs Little Terra was awesome, seeing the clash of DRU might with a literal demon! Hestia's cut-in was greatly timed, and shows that despite being behind in experience, she has her own tricks up her sleeve! And then the way you ended it, with Red Phoenix shooting through Petra...Brutal!!
Characterization: I feel like Enzo and Hestia were both able to make progress, coming to terms with what they've been through, and this makes me wonder if the two will become more of a team. And not only is there Petra to wonder about in that scenario, and the elusive higher-ups, but whether that "team" will be Hestia becoming further involved (or trapped) by DRU, or Enzo escaping them. Or if it all blows up in their faces in a way I don't even see coming—you have a skill in doing that! XD
Grammar and Wording: Overarchingly? Great! No complaints.
~ Some nitpicks and little recommendations
I didn't catch anything to put here this time! Great writing job!
~ My reactions, theories, and favorite parts
Okay, I have since developed a wild theory about this "council" of the Terras, and it's wild! But maybe, just maybe, there will be something to it. So the council is composed of multiple forms of Terra across different dimensions, right? Well...Is not Nova a form of Terra too?? And not only was Nova at least temporarily ejected to god-knows-where after leaving the simulation, but we know he's taking the destruction of his entire known world, including his daughter, shockingly well. Granted, that seems like something his character would be capable of, but what if there was another reason to it? Like finding the Terra, or the Terras finding him, and putting some certain ideas in his head? Hmm... >.>
Okay, theory-time over lol. Let's jump into reactions and highlights!
Again, I totally forgot Hestia was a ball-player! Not only was it endearing, seeing her light up like this, but that was a clever way to get these two to click—and to get Hestia to spill some exposition lol.
I like how this almost feels like an indrect way of telling us about the confidence Hestia has achieved, and the development she has gone through, or at least is actively going through, since the shy and downtrodden self she was in the beginning. Great to see!!
Okay, I love the exposition here, how she can relate to Enzo and vice-versa, and the context of why Hestia left the council. It definitely props Little Terra up as a gnarly antagonist too (such a stark contrast from the og Terra!) But also, ouch!! Poor Hestia
YES, YES, YES TO ALL OF THIS!! I love Enzo's explanation here. The confidence, the defiance, refusing to be gaslit into letting everything go, as if it wasn't these very people who put and kept him in the simulation to begin with. Needless to mention, not only would there be insane trauma from the destruction of his prior life and world, but it's not like he didn't have issues in that world to begin with! So this feels like it could be a sign of not just taking his life back from DRU, but taking it back from the Yakuza that had him trapped too, in a way.
That line being the final line, after Hestia reveals that the other Terras are close... What could this mean?? Who's murdering who?? (0_0 )
Awesome weapon!!
Ooo, a broken weapon, AND Hestia foiled their means of escape!! I wonder what this will entail, especially considering the final line of this chapter...
BRUTALLL!! This makes me wonder if and how Petra will be able to even recover from that!! You know, she may be a DRU member, but I was growing to like her, from the level-headed sass to her maternal habits as she approached Enzo and Hestia. Hopefully she recovers...
Ooo, what is SHE plotting now?? >.>
MadThoughts...Overall, this chapter was fantastic! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
Thank you for the review!

While reading through your review, I realized how actually CRAZY of a power feat Hestia breaking Little Terra%u2019s staff is (its literally a staff constructed in hell, so I would assume its pretty strong lol)
Timeline-wise, I am quite far past the events of the Council, and they will reappear in time (it may be a bit lol). I love your comments because it makes me realize there were so many ways I could go with the story%u2026
Also about that theory, I will just say
You're welcome!
And yeah, that is a crazy power feat! XD
Also that theory response... >.>>>
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the malicious S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Hestia explores Terra’s old house, finds a baseball bat in Enzo’s backpack, the two of them play baseball for a bit before the Terras find them and so, they continue to defy the Terras in favor of what they believe in!
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - In the part where Petra gets paralyzed by the blow, I think you meant to write “S” instead of “D”, but that’s just one little thing!
Chocolate Bar - I like the moment of Hestia and Enzo playing baseball together because it was such a cute moment between the two of them! I also like that Hestia describes the town as looking better without all of the people because there is a certain beauty to things that are abandoned. Another thing I’ve liked was how Petra stayed by Hestia and Enzo, because she knows that she doesn’t want them to face it all alone.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a fantastic chapter on how Hestia is willing to run away and do what she can to survive, how everyone is trying to survive this madness. Hestia, Enzo, and Petra are not giving up, but neither is the Council of Terra and so, I’ll be sure to check for updates on this story and connect it with all the other stories you wrote!
I wish you a fabulous day/night! ^v^