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16+ Mature Content

♦ Plague of the Desert - Part 4 ♦

by goodolnoah


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

♦ Second Chance, Part 2 ♦

(DISCLAIMER, this chapter contains references to suicide, please proceed with caution.)

PT 350, Dimension Y-062

The group of girls were called Special Division 0, “Theia”. Once their mission was finished, they were to be replaced with a new division 0. Each of them were wearing a mask and goggles, along with ponchos made to hide the egregious amount of gear they held for the operation.

A dimensional locator, which looked like a suped-up calculator. It flipped open, on the top there was a small screen followed by numbers zero through nine from left to right, on the bottom there were letters a through z. With an enter button on the bottom. The machine whirred with a yellow glow.

The girls were given enhanced pistols that could be used to annihilate a target in one shot. Because they had laser pulses, no worries of kickback arose. Along each girl’s waistband, there were ten P-bombs.

They were given badges to wear on themselves while moving through the Desert of Sinkholes. These made it so they couldn’t fall through a sinkhole. However, if by any unfortunate event it was broken or damaged, they were just as susceptible as any other innocent soul to find themselves in the wasteland.

Diana and Asta each trekked through the raging storm of the Desert of Sinkholes with hesitation. While Raiya moved ahead of them. The faster it was over, the faster she could be on with her normal life. Once out of the storm, they would use the locator.

“Soo…Your Dad was that Lord guy? He sounds pretty like a pretty cool Dad.”

“What was your Dad like, Asta?” Diana deflected.

“He was…I don’t remember. But I imagine he would’ve been really nice. Truth is, I never really had a Dad.”

“Lucky you…” Raiya mumbled.

“The truth is…I was captured by these mean people. I was like a slave to them. I don’t like to talk about it, but there’s no reason we should weave around what really happened.”

As Asta continued, Raiya turned around to walk closer to them.

“Something went wrong, and I fell through a portal! That’s when I met this super cool girl! She works with DRU, but she was really nice. Not like the others. She stopped the hunters who fell through the portal with me and brought me back to DRU after teaching me about some things. After that, I never saw her again.”

“God, Asta. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” Diana croaked.

“It’s okay, really! I realized that there were good people out there. So I continue doing this to make sure they stay happy too. I…don’t feel like I’m very good, so I help out the good guys to redeem myself!”

Raiya looked down at the little Asta. She felt butterflies raging as she stared into the bright face of a girl who had been wronged by everyone, only to still do the right thing. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was ripping Asta from her new home by doing this.

“It’s okay Asta” Raiya fumbled her words. “Once we’re done, we’ll bring you home with us! We know the lay of the land more than anybody else! It’s like we were basically princesses when we lived here. We’ll make sure you live comfortably.”

“That sounds nice.” She smiled.

In their hearts, they all knew nobody had it in them to do what they were about to do. When out of the storm, everyone stood in silence for a while. Diana and Raiya’s voices both rose at the same time. One pulled out the list they were given, and Raiya held up the Dimensional Locator.

“Let’s do…N-945.” Diana picked one from the list.

Raiya typed it in on the Locator and pressed enter. They held their hands together, with a bright flash of yellow light, they reappeared in a new dimension.

They found themselves in an overgrown forest. In the middle of a playground overtaken by nature. A cute duck teeter-totter was rotted into a bronze metal machination that puked moss from its mouth to the ground. Monkey bars looked like they were actually used by monkeys, and the slide was split in two, broken in half by a stray tree.

Raiya led the way through the forest. A curious Asta marveled at all sights. The water trickled onto her face, the high trees. Continuously looking back at the playground. Diana floated between the two of them, torn between her choices. She ultimately gave into Asta’s curiosity.

“Asta. Do you want to check out that playground?”

Raiya turned around like Diana had just said something derogatory.

“Oh…Are you sure? Can we?” She sang.

“Yeah. Just for a couple minutes.”

“Yay!”

Asta was jumping up and down as she ran back to the playground to try what was left of its attractions. Diana and Raiya watched from a distance. Diana was leaning against a tree in acceptance of her decision, Raya stood, stunned. Charmed, but stunned.

“Diana, are you serious? Do we want to scar the poor girl?”

“She’s just a kid, Rai. She might be a little younger than us, but that’s a girl who never got to be a kid. I couldn’t let her walk away. She sorta reminds me of you.”

Raiya looked at Diana puzzled. “Th’ fuck makes you say that?”

“You could never ask for what you wanted. It was always what I wanted. You’ve got the classic middle-child syndrome, sis!”

“What happened to you having goo-goo eyes for Father?”

“I still loved Dad, I guess. We don’t really have time to be arguing about his death right now. We each have our own opinions, but he’s dead now, and we’ll process that how we want to. Maybe it’s about what happened to us in Outskirts Paradise. You were all hyped up to kill me, but you couldn’t. You hesitated because you loved me. That’s why I know you loved Dad. Regardless of what happened.”

“Me trying to poison you in Outskirts Paradise? That’s your connection? It’s pretty damn clear by these that he didn’t love me! Why would I love him?”

Raiya lifted her shirt to show Diana her gunshot wounds from her fight with her Dad. She glanced, but was not swayed in her declaration.

“Cause’ he’s your Dad.”

“Do you two want to play?” Asta called out.

She jumped up to grip onto the monkey bars. Gliding between them with impressive accuracy for a first-timer. The bars hurt with every swing due to their age and rust, but Asta didn’t care. She got about halfway when a bar snapped under her weight, sending her crashing into the brush below.

“I doubt anything would hold our weight!” Diana teased.

“We’d better get going soon, let’s grab Asta and go.” Raiya whispered to Diana.

“Aw, I don’t want to be the bad guy.”

“Alright, Asta, ready to go?” Raiya called.

They peered out to the playground to see Asta was nowhere to be found. There was a divot in a large patch of brush that they assumed she could have slipped through when they turned away. Diana led the way, creeping through the brush. She poked her head through the leaves to see an extra pair of legs. She sunk her hand into the inside of her poncho and jumped out of the brush with her gun drawn. To see a man with long hair and beard with a gun held to Asta, who was on the ground. He wore tattered, mismatched clothes.

“You move one fuckin’ inch and this girl dies.” He hissed.

“Hey, let’s be civil about this. We aren’t here to do any harm”

More and more men rained down from the trees, each having guns. They surrounded Raiya and Diana.

“These are ones from the holes in the sky.”

“What’s the procedure, boss?”

The man peered into Raiya’s eyes. Welling with hatred. Her feet shuffled just the tiniest bit. Her hands were held up, ready to battle. The water from the trees dripped onto her head and rolled down her face, not phasing her one bit as she stared back at their boss.

“This is the chance for a lesson, men. Never mess with a survivor. You get a chance, you end them. They do what they do best when their head is on the chopping block. At the cost of anything. Kill them.”

“No! No! Don’t kill them”

“Don’t worry, we’ll keep you alive. Our leftover women are gray and old. You will make a fine replacement”

“I said…” Asta’s voice rose with a rumble.

The ground below the men shivered as blades rose from the ground. Asta’s eyes glowed a furious green. The first to be impaled was the man holding a gun to Asta’s face. A blade stabbed up through his back and out through his neck. Killing him instantly and showering Asta with a fireworks display of blood. Right after their boss was killed, swords lined up next to the men’s heads and rocketed into them. Creating a circle of bodies in Raiya and Diana’s wake.

“Holy…What the fuck was that, Asta?” Raiya choked.

“We have to use the P-Bomb, Rai.” Diana whimpered.

“Why?”

“More are coming, and I doubt they are going to stop.”

Raiya picked a P-Bomb from her waist. She held it in her hand lightly. Oblivion in her hand. All she could imagine was blackness. The end of everything. White light being snuffed out by the neverending black. When she looked down, she had pulled the fuse and dropped it to her feet. Diana ripped the Dimensional Locator from her hands and grabbed Raiya and Asta’s hand.

In a flash, they reappeared in the Desert of Sinkholes. A hole was open in the ground. Giving them a view into the dying dimension. Asta watched as lives were snuffed out, planets were collapsed, stars erupted in a supernova, an expanse of black overthrew the life that was once on the planet. Asta lay on the desert floor with her knees to her face, looking into the closing portal.

“That was the second man I killed. I killed my first man before I escaped my prison. Even though I hated him, it still felt really bad when all his friends screamed his name, so when I caused the deaths of even more men by falling through a portal, I decided my life wasn’t really worth it. I was one of the bad ones.”

“What are you talking about, Asta?” Diana asked.

“What? I’m one of infinite people across a possibly infinite number of universes. How special of me. It always ends this way. People die because I exist.”

“Asta. You know that isn’t true.” Raiya yelped.

“I don’t want to exist anymore, not like this.”

Asta manifested a sword pressed against her chest.

“Asta, no-


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Thu Jun 20, 2024 7:21 pm
RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello Again, My Friend!

I'm here to continue my review of this great story today! As much as I was hoping to reach Chapter 6 today, this will probably be the last one for today, so let's see if I can make it a grand finale, haha! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

Impressions and general thoughts. Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

A curious Asta marveled at all sights. The water trickled onto her face, the high trees. Continuously looking back at the playground.

I feel like these sentences connected just a bit awkwardly, particularly that second one. Perhaps to smooth it out, something like "A curious Astra marveled at all the sight, the water trickling onto her face from the high trees as she continuously looked back at the playground."

The water from the trees dripped onto her head and rolled down her face, not phasing her one bit as she stared back at their boss.


I made this same mistake for the longest time, but I think the more proper word here instead of "phasing" is "fazing." Fazing means a disruption in composure or focus.

Of course, I am not a professional, so please always take my advice with a grain of salt.

Why The Grin Widened...

Describing the girls going through the Desert of Sinkholes, the immense amounts of gear described certainly makes it feel like they're heading into a dangerous mission, amping up tensions and raising the stakes. I especially liked this excerpt for the badges...

They were given badges to wear on themselves while moving through the Desert of Sinkholes. These made it so they couldn’t fall through a sinkhole. However, if by any unfortunate event it was broken or damaged, they were just as susceptible as any other innocent soul to find themselves in the wasteland.


Just the idea of the safeguard being broken, leaving them susceptible to the wasteland is enough to keep you wondering what will happen, hoping it's nothing bad and they won't end up warped into oblivion or something, haha (I laugh but tbh that sounds frickin' terrifying...).

I like the contrast in motivation here; it sounds like Diana is lingering behind a bit, afraid of what's to come, whereas Raiya has blocked out all reservations just to find a normal life -and perhaps part of what's making this just a bit easier for her is the idea of destroying her father's work for vengeance? But with innocents on the line, that's pretty dark too...But I like it! Character complexity never hurts, and you always know how to deliver!

The discussions about Asta's father was another bittersweet moment, and I thought it showed two extremes of one situation; Asta never having a father, even though she imagines a kind one for herself, while Raiya got stuck with a jacka** and refuses to see any good in him like Diana would. And to the point Raiya would say "lucky you" to a fatherless girl...that says a lot about her feelings.

“It’s okay, really! I realized that there were good people out there. So I continue doing this to make sure they stay happy too. I…don’t feel like I’m very good, so I help out the good guys to redeem myself!”


Just...man, Asta is such a good character and you made a sad yet great backstory/motive for her T-T I also love how her story gets Raiya to finally soften up, and insist that she'll ensure a good future for her.

“I still loved Dad, I guess. We don’t really have time to be arguing about his death right now. We each have our own opinions, but he’s dead now, and we’ll process that how we want to. Maybe it’s about what happened to us in Outskirts Paradise. You were all hyped up to kill me, but you couldn’t. You hesitated because you loved me. That’s why I know you loved Dad. Regardless of what happened.”


Seeing Diana's in-depth opinion of their father and how it led to their fight, I was fascinated and loved this explanation; it explains why she's willing to work with Raiya even after the fight, and it's very reasonable for her to take that position of "agree to disagree" with their father, especially now. And she's not being confrontational or hostile about any of this. That really told me she's the more passive one between the two.

They peered out to the playground to see Asta was nowhere to be found.


WHAT?!

As the group of men storm out with Asta in their grip, and they're clearly ready to fight, you can feel the tension increase; you just got us attached to this innocent character, and now she's in danger. Dirty, but very effective tactic to draw in your readers, haha.

Asta's ability was awesome! Awesome and unexpected save! Then, as soon as they're free and Diana urges for them to use the P-bomb...

She held it in her hand lightly. Oblivion in her hand. All she could imagine was blackness. The end of everything. White light being snuffed out by the neverending black. When she looked down, she had pulled the fuse and dropped it to her feet.


I LOVE how you worded this! It's so eerie, the thought of an apocalypse in someone's hand. And even though we got a terrible introduction to this world, featuring some terrible and merciless men, you still can't help wondering if it was the right choice...but, no looking back now, and that just made it all the more shocking.

As they escape, Asta expressing her guilt was a real tug at the heart. You can just tell that she wants so bad to be the good guy, when all she's ever known are the bad guys, and with her innocent and oblivious nature, she finds it hard to separate the two. There's something eerily realistic about that quality, but moving on to that ending...

“I don’t want to exist anymore, not like this.”

Asta manifested a sword pressed against her chest.

“Asta, no-”


OH NO. Oh, I swear, if this is what I think it is...I mean, great storytelling, it makes sense for her character, but at the same time, DAMN.

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, that was a great chapter to show how their first dimension destruction would go, while showing more development between the characters and their bonds. Nicely done! :D

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goodolnoah says...


Yes%u2026It is what you think it is (%u3160%u2038%u3160)
(I also loved the little insert you made about my dirty tactic to draw audiences into Asta only to take her away so quick)

Man.,.your descriptions made me relive the experience I felt when writing Astas character. For the story to work, I knew it had to be brief, and it seems like from you and Kates reviews that Asta mostly landed as a character. I am very happy it worked, even with her limited screen time.

Oooo and thank you for the comment about character complexity! I really try to make sure every character, no matter how big or small has something about them that stands out!



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Wed Jun 12, 2024 3:09 pm
KateHardy wrote a review...



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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!


First Impression

Well we make it to our first dimension, definitely one at least on this particular planet that's fallen quite deep into despair and seems to be ruled by quite a crew there. It is hard to judge them in the little we saw. They did seem quite cruel but also only like they were trying to survive we'll never know what dangers they knew of with regards to people coming out of portals now.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

The group of girls were called Special Division 0, “Theia”. Once their mission was finished, they were to be replaced with a new division 0. Each of them were wearing a mask and goggles, along with ponchos made to hide the egregious amount of gear they held for the operation.

A dimensional locator, which looked like a suped-up calculator. It flipped open, on the top there was a small screen followed by numbers zero through nine from left to right, on the bottom there were letters a through z. With an enter button on the bottom. The machine whirred with a yellow glow.


Well it looks like we're going to have a tiny little gear up moment and I already love the start here. Little fancy tech descriptions are things I really love to read about and this one is already very neat. I love how you link it back to something we recognize first too, just making sure we can visualize it easier and get a real feel for what it's like.

The girls were given enhanced pistols that could be used to annihilate a target in one shot. Because they had laser pulses, no worries of kickback arose. Along each girl’s waistband, there were ten P-bombs.

They were given badges to wear on themselves while moving through the Desert of Sinkholes. These made it so they couldn’t fall through a sinkhole. However, if by any unfortunate event it was broken or damaged, they were just as susceptible as any other innocent soul to find themselves in the wasteland.

Diana and Asta each trekked through the raging storm of the Desert of Sinkholes with hesitation. While Raiya moved ahead of them. The faster it was over, the faster she could be on with her normal life. Once out of the storm, they would use the locator.


Well this is interesting. Not the most technologically sound explanation I have seen on those pistols but ignoring our friend Physics for a moment they do sounds really cool and I think its just enough there to make people who aren't so nitpicky fully buy that.

“Soo…Your Dad was that Lord guy? He sounds pretty like a pretty cool Dad.”

“What was your Dad like, Asta?” Diana deflected.

“He was…I don’t remember. But I imagine he would’ve been really nice. Truth is, I never really had a Dad.”

“Lucky you…” Raiya mumbled.

“The truth is…I was captured by these mean people. I was like a slave to them. I don’t like to talk about it, but there’s no reason we should weave around what really happened.”


Well this is interesting. Asta is really sounding like someone significantly younger than them, which was not the first impression I got of her but every subsequent one has backed that up and the two of them trying to explain this makes for quite the moment here.

As Asta continued, Raiya turned around to walk closer to them.

“Something went wrong, and I fell through a portal! That’s when I met this super cool girl! She works with DRU, but she was really nice. Not like the others. She stopped the hunters who fell through the portal with me and brought me back to DRU after teaching me about some things. After that, I never saw her again.”

“God, Asta. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” Diana croaked.


Ohh looks like Asta really doesn't even fully realize the kind of situation that she's been dumped into here, it seems they were able to convince her of quite a few things by this point here.

“It’s okay, really! I realized that there were good people out there. So I continue doing this to make sure they stay happy too. I…don’t feel like I’m very good, so I help out the good guys to redeem myself!”

Raiya looked down at the little Asta. She felt butterflies raging as she stared into the bright face of a girl who had been wronged by everyone, only to still do the right thing. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was ripping Asta from her new home by doing this.

“It’s okay Asta” Raiya fumbled her words. “Once we’re done, we’ll bring you home with us! We know the lay of the land more than anybody else! It’s like we were basically princesses when we lived here. We’ll make sure you live comfortably.”


Well it looks like the sisters are a little united for the moment in the face of the tragedy Asta has suffered. Looks like my prediction about her being that glue factor was correct although not exactly as I planned. It definitely works for investing us in Asta's story too.

“That sounds nice.” She smiled.

In their hearts, they all knew nobody had it in them to do what they were about to do. When out of the storm, everyone stood in silence for a while. Diana and Raiya’s voices both rose at the same time. One pulled out the list they were given, and Raiya held up the Dimensional Locator.

“Let’s do…N-945.” Diana picked one from the list.

Raiya typed it in on the Locator and pressed enter. They held their hands together, with a bright flash of yellow light, they reappeared in a new dimension.


Well okay, looks like a standard enough start there. I have not memorized enough numbers to know if that's a dimension we should care about but given its the first one I doubt it is.

They found themselves in an overgrown forest. In the middle of a playground overtaken by nature. A cute duck teeter-totter was rotted into a bronze metal machination that puked moss from its mouth to the ground. Monkey bars looked like they were actually used by monkeys, and the slide was split in two, broken in half by a stray tree.

Raiya led the way through the forest. A curious Asta marveled at all sights. The water trickled onto her face, the high trees. Continuously looking back at the playground. Diana floated between the two of them, torn between her choices. She ultimately gave into Asta’s curiosity.

“Asta. Do you want to check out that playground?”


Well this looks to be a fairly normal little dimension for the moment. Let's see what exactly this is going to turn out to be. I have a feeling it won't be the most pivotal of dimensions but maybe I'm wrong there.

Raiya turned around like Diana had just said something derogatory.

“Oh…Are you sure? Can we?” She sang.

“Yeah. Just for a couple minutes.”

“Yay!”

Asta was jumping up and down as she ran back to the playground to try what was left of its attractions. Diana and Raiya watched from a distance. Diana was leaning against a tree in acceptance of her decision, Raya stood, stunned. Charmed, but stunned.


OOoh well it looks like we're taking a breather from the cold dimension destroying to let Asta have a little bit of fun. She definitely does seem like she deserves to have some fun and really hasn't got to for much of her life.

“Diana, are you serious? Do we want to scar the poor girl?”

“She’s just a kid, Rai. She might be a little younger than us, but that’s a girl who never got to be a kid. I couldn’t let her walk away. She sorta reminds me of you.”

Raiya looked at Diana puzzled. “Th’ fuck makes you say that?”

“You could never ask for what you wanted. It was always what I wanted. You’ve got the classic middle-child syndrome, sis!”

“What happened to you having goo-goo eyes for Father?”


Well this is interesting. A little bit of a departure from the earlier attitude we saw perhaps. Definitely looks like there's going to be a slight change in that relationship going forward at any rate.

“I still loved Dad, I guess. We don’t really have time to be arguing about his death right now. We each have our own opinions, but he’s dead now, and we’ll process that how we want to. Maybe it’s about what happened to us in Outskirts Paradise. You were all hyped up to kill me, but you couldn’t. You hesitated because you loved me. That’s why I know you loved Dad. Regardless of what happened.”

“Me trying to poison you in Outskirts Paradise? That’s your connection? It’s pretty damn clear by these that he didn’t love me! Why would I love him?”

Raiya lifted her shirt to show Diana her gunshot wounds from her fight with her Dad. She glanced, but was not swayed in her declaration.


Well this is definitely a very tentative peace that's more of a continuation of their earlier argument than anything else but it is very intriguing to see them try and fully lay all of this out here.

“Cause’ he’s your Dad.”

“Do you two want to play?” Asta called out.

She jumped up to grip onto the monkey bars. Gliding between them with impressive accuracy for a first-timer. The bars hurt with every swing due to their age and rust, but Asta didn’t care. She got about halfway when a bar snapped under her weight, sending her crashing into the brush below.

“I doubt anything would hold our weight!” Diana teased.


Well that is quite impressive for someone trying it out for the first time. Definitely not an easy feat to try and pull of that. I think you're doing a great job really bringing life to Asta in little moments like that.

“We’d better get going soon, let’s grab Asta and go.” Raiya whispered to Diana.

“Aw, I don’t want to be the bad guy.”

“Alright, Asta, ready to go?” Raiya called.

They peered out to the playground to see Asta was nowhere to be found. There was a divot in a large patch of brush that they assumed she could have slipped through when they turned away. Diana led the way, creeping through the brush. She poked her head through the leaves to see an extra pair of legs. She sunk her hand into the inside of her poncho and jumped out of the brush with her gun drawn. To see a man with long hair and beard with a gun held to Asta, who was on the ground. He wore tattered, mismatched clothes.


Oooh well that's a little unexpected there, poor Asta held at gunpoint there. Definitely makes you stop and think that. Looks like something is about to go down here.

“You move one fuckin’ inch and this girl dies.” He hissed.

“Hey, let’s be civil about this. We aren’t here to do any harm”

More and more men rained down from the trees, each having guns. They surrounded Raiya and Diana.

“These are ones from the holes in the sky.”

“What’s the procedure, boss?”


Well looks like they've been on a bit of a lookout there from the looks of that and they quite badly want to trap them and cause a bit of harm. Definitely making for some interesting questions this.

The man peered into Raiya’s eyes. Welling with hatred. Her feet shuffled just the tiniest bit. Her hands were held up, ready to battle. The water from the trees dripped onto her head and rolled down her face, not phasing her one bit as she stared back at their boss.

“This is the chance for a lesson, men. Never mess with a survivor. You get a chance, you end them. They do what they do best when their head is on the chopping block. At the cost of anything. Kill them.”

“No! No! Don’t kill them”


Well this is interesting. Looks like some sort of very interesting little organization has formed in this dimension under whatever horrors left it in the state that the broken down playground suggests it is in.

“Don’t worry, we’ll keep you alive. Our leftover women are gray and old. You will make a fine replacement”

“I said…” Asta’s voice rose with a rumble.

The ground below the men shivered as blades rose from the ground. Asta’s eyes glowed a furious green. The first to be impaled was the man holding a gun to Asta’s face. A blade stabbed up through his back and out through his neck. Killing him instantly and showering Asta with a fireworks display of blood. Right after their boss was killed, swords lined up next to the men’s heads and rocketed into them. Creating a circle of bodies in Raiya and Diana’s wake.


Oooh that's an oddly specific power for Asta. Definitely makes you wonder exactly what she is capable of. The fact she isn't remotely phased by it suggests she's done this many times before and very much did that on purpose. Definitely makes her story that much more interesting.

“Holy…What the fuck was that, Asta?” Raiya choked.

“We have to use the P-Bomb, Rai.” Diana whimpered.

“Why?”

“More are coming, and I doubt they are going to stop.”

Raiya picked a P-Bomb from her waist. She held it in her hand lightly. Oblivion in her hand. All she could imagine was blackness. The end of everything. White light being snuffed out by the neverending black. When she looked down, she had pulled the fuse and dropped it to her feet. Diana ripped the Dimensional Locator from her hands and grabbed Raiya and Asta’s hand.


Hmm well so that's our little moment to justify this dimension being snuffed out I suppose. It works okay in the moment in that there was no way our protagonists were getting out alive, but certainly still has the problem of how cruel of a method this is. I suppose in the end they do have to chose the selfish option, you can hardly worry for others when your own life is in danger of being snuffed out so you can't blame them.

In a flash, they reappeared in the Desert of Sinkholes. A hole was open in the ground. Giving them a view into the dying dimension. Asta watched as lives were snuffed out, planets were collapsed, stars erupted in a supernova, an expanse of black overthrew the life that was once on the planet. Asta lay on the desert floor with her knees to her face, looking into the closing portal.

“That was the second man I killed. I killed my first man before I escaped my prison. Even though I hated him, it still felt really bad when all his friends screamed his name, so when I caused the deaths of even more men by falling through a portal, I decided my life wasn’t really worth it. I was one of the bad ones.”


Oooh well dimensions collapsing aside, an interesting note by Asta. She was handling that real well in the moment for someone questioning their existence quite that much, but it does look like she was in a bit of shock and going through this thought process. It does make a lot of sense although now the way this conversation is going really does not seem good for Asta's own health unless somene convinces her she was just trying to survive. Oh dear.

“What are you talking about, Asta?” Diana asked.

“What? I’m one of infinite people across a possibly infinite number of universes. How special of me. It always ends this way. People die because I exist.”

“Asta. You know that isn’t true.” Raiya yelped.

“I don’t want to exist anymore, not like this.”

Asta manifested a sword pressed against her chest.

“Asta, no-”


Oh dear that was a quick spiral. And a lovely cliffhanger, it doesn't get any more cliffhangery than that. I think that was a good buildup there to that moment with all the little tidbits that we learnt about Asta throughout the progression to this point.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

Overall

Overall it looks like we've got quite the little chapter here, learning a lot about Asta and her mental, especially a lot towards the end and the first full look at what those bombs will do and what these dimensions may be like. This will be quite intriguing to see.

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate


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Rusithara says...


:)



goodolnoah says...


Thank you for the review! Overall, I personally have mixed feelings about this chapter and these characters. (mainly trouble surrounding where to place it, since it could cause pacing issues.) I am happy that Astas placement seemed to go well, though!

The events here are quite the deviation from the story centered around Fi, but these characters do play a role later on. Hope you can stay tuned!




you ever say spidgit finner unironically?
— FireEyes