The whole Hospital was seized by CBI. The time was not going good, neither for a single man in the hospital and so does in the Asylum.
At Asylum Hanif was trying his best to solve the riddle. He was being assisted by other doctors but still he was feeling helpless. The threatening words of Robinson were tinkling in his ears. One more day passed away and a new morning brought more pressure and frustration among the dwellers of Dreamland.
"Ting-tong!" the bell rang at Dr. Mehta's house. No response came from inside the house. The bell rang twice again. After a few minutes Dr. Mehta opened the door with laziness. His eyes were half closed and his body was leaning, just trying to tell the doctor that it (his body) is not ready to walk or do any work.
"Good Morning doctor, Dr. Hanif has sent these things to you and also sent a message that you go through these things as soon as possible" said the boy.
Dr. Mehta recognized the boy; he was one of the staff members from the Asylum.
"Thank you lad" Said Dr. Mehta and shut the door.
"What could be this?"
Before Dr. Mehta could think anything else, the phone rang. Mehta thought it as door bell due to his half conscious state due to his half sleepy mood. He started walking towards the door and when opened the door, found no one except the beautiful dawn scenery. The bell rang again and Mehta got that it was phone this time, he smiled at own self and went towards his bedroom to pick up the phone.
"Hello buddy, got something good news?" Asked Mehta.
"Did you open the packet I sent to you"?
"Nope man, is that breakfast for me?" Replied Mehta in a childish way.
"Oh man, I've found something very helpful information about Philip. You must listen to the tapes I sent to you, I am still continuing with the research and hence I could not come to you. By the way how's your health now?"
"Yes I am better thanks... And I was thinking you sent me some food"
"Man you'll not change. Anyway don't waste your time and listen to those recorded tapes of hypnotherapy I did yesterday with Philip to get some information out of his mind from his past. See ya" said Hanif and the line got disconnected.
Mehta's curiosity increased by listening to what Hanif said right now in phone so he opened the packet quickly and put the tape on the player to listen about the life of Philip.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,025 Literary Works • 672,765 Reviews
Happy Review Day! It's yubbies21 here!
Good Review Dreamy!
While it was a small chapter, it was nicely done. You are excellent with narration!
There were a few mistakes I found, but @Dreamy got them....all of them...
I differ in opinions a bit from Dreamy though. It's okay to use a semi-colon if you want. I thought it fit quite nicely.
Have a great day...Happy Review Day!
yubbies21
Thank you so much for your review
Hey Gaurav, Let me go on with the review. "Fear" is indeed a very good title.
Let me remind you again that I didn't read your previous chapters.
This was neatly done Gaurav, no major mistakes as far as I'm concerned. This was a very small chapter too. You have narrated it well. Now, let me pin point the mistakes,
You can cut out that "not going good" and simply say "It was a bad time for the men in the hospital as well as for the men in the asylum"
You forgot your comma. It's "At Asylum, Hanif......."
The "ting-tong" just lashed out the seriousness you were providing, it was quite childish I would say, so strike it out.
Never use a semi-colon,it will only tell you that you have gone to a college and never really highlights what you are trying to say.
And the phone conversation thing was not really good, it was lagging a bit. Try to edit this chapter a bit. And you will get what you are looking for. You have definitely done a good job though.
Keep writing!!!
Cheers!!!
That's was very nice, helpful and detailed review. I am really thankful to you for your review.
A pleasure!