i am a mixed bag; a segmented chimera
you may get the lion face, feel my futile bravery,
see the self assured mess i become,
or you may get poison spines and raised hackles, either way
soon, you will discover i have a snakes silver tongue
covered in easily swallowed lies; i like to keep things digestible,
i warn you now because i will eat you later.
you can look at me and see all this;
i am a red flag.
but sometimes if you look, instead of a monster
you will see a tired boy trying to be human again,
he doesn't like looking at mirrors because all his
mirrors hold monsters, he sees one everyday,
they used to be the ghosts in his closet; before
he opened it and put on the outfit he used to wear,
he knew it was haunted but it was his favorite color;
numb sociopathic black, easy to recoil into, now
he brushes his teeth in the dark to try to hide them,
the darkness can be a comfort when your own teeth are too sharp,
be careful, if you leave the lights off too long your eyes adjust
be warned he will likely capture you before you see him
lure you in and eat all of the good in you
so he can continue living
he only looks like a boy trying to be human
he acts like a territorial minataur
a regretful vampire, only when it is too late to apologize
It seems that the protagonist ”eats friends” because they want to ensure that their friends stay forever, even if it hurts them. He’s used to being alone, but wants some kind of company. Desperate for friends, but still wants to be alone. I have enjoyed reading this poem. He’s a villain trying to do right, but it’s not easy.
I hope that you will have a wonderful and lovely day and night.
Greetings!
I have just finished reading your poem, "When Did I Start Eating My Friends?" and I must say, it left a deep impression on me. The way you have crafted your words to create this unique, yet relatable character is both captivating and thought-provoking.
As I read through the lines, I couldn't help but feel a sense of empathy towards your protagonist, who seems to be struggling with inner demons. The way you have described the speakers duality, the "lion face" and "poison spines", shows how the speaker is torn between being pretending to be someone else and being your true self.
It's interesting how you have used the imagery of a "chimera" to describe this character, as it highlights the idea of being made up of different parts that don't necessarily fit together. It's as if your protagonist is constantly battling to find a sense of balance.
The way you have played with the contrast between light and dark is particularly striking, as it adds to the sense of unease and mystery in the poem. The idea of brushing teeth in the dark to hide them and the warning about eyes adjusting if the lights are left off too long, creates a vivid image in the mind of the reader.
The final lines of the poem, where you describe your protagonist as a "territorial minotaur" and a "regretful vampire", add a sense of danger and sadness to the poem. It's as if your protagonist knows that this is wrong, but can't stop hurting others.
Overall, I found your poem to be a powerful exploration of the human psyche, and the struggles we all face to find our place in the world. Your use of vivid imagery and contrasting themes created a sense of tension and unease, which made the poem both engaging and thought-provoking.
-Rose
Thank you !
My pleasure!