Young Writers Society

Hello! I am going to write a review for your poem.

Your title, 'Self Image', really interested me into reading your poem. I hope you don't mind but may I be vulnerable with you right now? As a person that struggles with self image issues, I can relate to your poem a lot.

'My intestines barely fit inside this small coffin', in some way or another I can relate to this line especially because as a girl I feel like I'll never be comfortable in my own body, let alone my own skin.

'A brain that sits like a used sponge' is also relatable too sometimes feel like that too.

Also your poem is giving off the vibe of the song 'What was I made for' by Billie Eilish, which is actually pretty cool ho you made me think of that song.

Last but not least, I don't know know if you did this intentionally, but I like how you made the poem look like the figure of a body. That is actually pretty genius.
I really liked your poem overall. Thank you for this read!

Have a good day/night wherever you are!

Hello! I read your poem and really wanted to write my thoughts on the piece. First, I want to thank you for having the courage to share your poetry online, it takes a lot to share that part of your mind with strangers who can pick it apart. I will begin with things I found favorable in my eyes before moving on to any suggestions (if I have any). Let’s begin!

→ The title of the poem is what drew me in, specifically, “whats that thing in the mirror.” The use of the word “thing” immediately gives the connotation of personal disassociation, and a troubling perspective between the narrator and themselves, more specifically, their looks. I love poems that have this theme, as humans are so complex in creation and so many people struggle with their self image, especially with the pressure of the outside world.
→ Upon first look, the center structure of the poem looks really nice and fits with the short lines throughout. It gives a clean image and even looks like a figure almost, instead of it being all on the left margin which wouldn’t have a structure to make an image of.
→ Speaking of image… the imagery in this poem is so good! The line

this lumpy chest pencil neck

Hello, my friend!

With this glum piece, you sure delivered in terms of horror, while also capturing the feeling of some peoples' struggle, or even complete inability to find anything beautiful in the mirror. Your mention of abstract images, like the hornets nest, head of worms, and brain sitting like a used sponge gives the reader something to think about in terms of symbolism, while giving us that eerie imagery promised by the genre. It really feels like, through using elements of horror, you convey a message -and that's awesome.

As I was reading, I thought your use of these lines was really powerful:

"my long arms can't hold; me far enough away from; this lumpy chest pencil neck"

The feeling that you're trying to push that image away, to put distance between yourself and your own reflection, is an abstract and beautiful way to portray the struggle and disconnect that -sad to say- so many people find relatable. That they may actually see a monster in the mirror. Great word choice there.

If I could make any recommendations, I wouldn't say anything about the content itself. It's very nice as it is. Structurally, I feel like the use of punctuation -or lack thereof- is an interesting style choice, but at some points, it kind of hinders the flow of the poem. Maybe you could add some commas, periods, or even semicolons where it seems like lines should end ("...reach to a large problem; my intestines barely fit..."). More crucially, however, I think you could break up the line "this lumpy chest pencil neck." Maybe you could say lumpy chest AND pencil neck, if you want to keep the less punctuated style, or add a comma between.

That aside, it was overall a great poem! Nicely done!

This is beautiful and terrifying. The idea of looking into the mirror and seeing a monster staring back - and the monster being your own self-image? Very real, and terrifying, for that matter. I love you distort the different parts of the body as the poem progresses, and refer to it as a coffin that is just holding different parts. Your rhyming scheme is very unusual, which works to the advantage of your message of your poem. Really cool!