The next event was held in the dragon dome while the other participants were on their return journey. A circular raised platform was brought about the width of two dragons. In this fight the rules were simple. Using magic or muscle each participant had to force the other out of the arena or make them concede defeat.
Airel was up against the brawniest of Red Squad, Brokkr. He was average height, but his arms and legs were thick with muscle. Both participants stretched and warmed up. As they were doing so, Brokkr called to Airel.
“Hey. I heard you aren’t very good with magic, and I want to have a good brawl. How about we make a gentleman’s agreement that we won’t use magic? It would be a shame to burn you before getting the chance to feel that body of yours. Heh, heh.”
There were a few boos and laughs from the crowd. Jarid could tell how angry that disgusting taunt had made Airel, but she gritted her teeth and just smiled.
“Who am I to refuse an advantage so readily given. We are agreed. Besides, if you want to feel my body so badly, I promise you will get to feel my fist against your face.”
Her reply was met with cheers from the crowd. Brokkr grinned and got into a wrestling stance. “I look forward to it.”
The official stood between them and held out his hand. “Stand you ready?” Both gave their accent.
“Very well… Begin!” the announcer cried while raising his hand.
Brokkr charged forward and Airel stepped in to deliver a punch to his face, but Brokkr dodged and made a grab for her. Airel ducked under his grab and slipped behind locking her arms around his waist.
“Ha! You think you can suplex m-” Brokkr started to laugh before he was lifted clear off the ground and slammed on his head.
Brokkr rolled backward to gain some distance and recover. His cocky smile was now gone and he eyed Airel warily. It was clear that he now regarded her as a threat. But Airel wasn’t going to give him time to think about his mistake. He had barely risen to his feet before she was leaping towards him, knee flying towards his chest.
Brokkr blocked with both hands and grunted as her blow was strong. Then she went to punch him in the face, but he grabbed her leg and started to lift it to block. Airel was expecting this however and extended her leg, so her foot jabbed him in the gut. Brokkr shoved Airel’s knee and backed up to give himself room, but Airel was relentless. She chased him down with a flurry of lightning fast jabs.
Brokkr was blocking and slowly retreating as he recovered, but just as he was about to counter attack Airel feinted a punch into a kick on the same side. The break in rhythm caused Brokkr to react instinctively to block the kick but that had been a feint too as she continued her original punch which landed square on his cheek.
Airel took a step back to breathe and regain her composure. “I… told you. You… would feel… my fist… on your face,” she commented with a dry smile.
Brokkr rubbed his face before standing tall and bowing to Airel. “I fear I must apologize, my lady.”
“For what?” Airel asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I underestimated you because you were a woman. I see now that it was foolish to do so. In recognition of this I’m afraid I must rescind my earlier offer. I will not be able to act in a gentlemanly way in our bout anymore.”
With that Brokkr raised his hands and a wall of flame the length of the arena erupted from the ground.
Jarid felt a twinge of anxiety. Brokkr was only a few steps away from the edge of the arena. If Airel had gotten in one more good push, she might have won.
Brokkr sighed as he began to push the wall of flames forward, intending to drive Airel out of the arena. “I’m sorry it had to be this way, but the world is cruel. Some of us are just born with more magic ta-” his speech was interrupted as Airel’s fist slammed into his face once more, sending Brokkr flying out of the small arena.
While Brokkr had been talking, Airel had conjured a small shield of water around herself and leapt through the wall of flame. She may not have been able to extinguish the flames, but she was able to make it through the wall with only a few minor burns.
“That is the end of this event! The winner is Airel of Black Squad!” The official announced as the crowd cheered and began talking loudly among themselves.
There were a few medical staff on standby, and they quickly checked on Airel and Brokkr. Airel was given cool clothes and a medicinal drink of some kind. Brokkr was given an ice pack and helped to his feet. He silently made eye contact with Airel and nodded respectfully before walking back to his squad.
Jarid was relieved to see that Brokkr didn’t seem to have any animosity towards Airel.
Dominic could learn a thing or two from him, he thought.
They took a brief break while Felicia returned, and the officials cleared the arena for the third round. This time it was set up to look like a giant chess board with tall podiums on each side.
“The next event will be Mage’s Chess!” The official announced. “Will the participants Eldr and Ethan please draw straws then mount your podiums.”
Ethan saluted everyone and waved as he walked forward. They both drew straws and Ethan drew the longer one which meant he would be going second. Then he and his opponent mounted their podiums.
The official cleared his throat. “This game is quite similar to normal chess, except the pieces will be made of the user’s own magic power. If at any point a piece on the board ceases to keep its form, it shall be counted as removed from play. You are not allowed to move from your podium nor use magic for anything other than the sustainment of your pieces. Each piece must be at least this size.”
The official created a pillar of flame in the likeness of a horse that was about the size of a man.
“Now, create your king and army!” he announced.
Flames covered one side of the board and ice covered the other. The shapes of the pieces quickly formed. Jarid could tell the strain of keeping all those pieces in shape would not be easy.
“And, begin!”
Eldr quickly started things off by moving his pawn to E4. Kings pawn was a classic move for a nobleman. Ethan responded by playing his pawn to C5. Also a classic response. They each continued for the first few moves playing out normally. Eldr moved his knight to F3 and Ethan moved his pawn to D6. Eldr continued pushing into the center with a pawn to D4 which Ethan took with his C5 pawn. Then Eldr took that pawn with his knight. Ethan responded by playing his knight to F6 to put pressure on Eldr’s remaining pawn. Then Eldr moved his second knight to C3 to guard his pawn.
Ethan smiled as he moved his pawn to G6. Jarid smiled too. It was a new move they had thought up together to throw the opponent off and play more aggressively.
Eldr frowned and tried to castle as quickly as he could, with Ethan following suit. Eldr was thinking hard and suddenly his castle started to flicker. It disappeared for half a second and Jarid turned to the official for the call but he said nothing, so Jarid decided to point it out.
“I think Eldr’s castle just flickered out for a second there. Should he not remove it since it disappeared for a moment?”
The official gave Jarid a disapproving glance. “That’s what flames do. They flicker. I’m watching in case one of them goes out, don’t worry.”
Eldr, having heard Jarid’s words, decided to go for a gambit. With his knights already out and his king castled into A1 he decided to open up his back line by allowing all his pawns from F2 to H2 to disappear. This would allow him to move in quickly and conserve his magic. But Ethan kept his cool and continued to slowly advance across the board.
With his aggressive strategy Ethan was forced to sacrifice pieces to make progress but he made smart trades and used his pawns effectively to block the movements of his opponent’s pieces. Ethan was beginning to sweat from the strain and cracks were appearing in a few of his pieces. He was forced to let go of some larger pieces in order to maintain concentration. Thankfully he had already taken those same pieces off his opponent’s board.
As Eldr was slowly backed into a corner he became desperate and using his extra mana reserves, he increased the heat of his flames to melt the nearby pieces. Ethan gritted his teeth but was forced to move his pieces back.
Eldr smirked, thinking he’d won. Then he noticed Ethan had one last pawn that had a clear shot to his backline. Both of them had long since sacrificed their queens. Eldr tried to move in close but he couldn’t get any of his pieces in a position to take out the pawn. The best he could do was get a bishop right next to it. Ethan confidently moved to further entrap his opponent, but for some reason Eldr wasn’t making his next move.
Jarid’s eyes widened with shock as he realized that this was the result of Eldr’s earlier gambit. He could simply wait until Ethan’s mana reserves forced him to start removing pieces, then he could stop the pawn from advancing!
Jarid looked to the official, who said nothing. After almost a minute of this stand off Ethan looked at the official and sighed, but Jarid saw the slightest hint of a smile on his cheek.
Ethan waited another 30 seconds and seemed to quickly become exhausted. He seemed to realize he wouldn’t be able to last and dissipated all his pieces except the castle protecting his pawn and the pawn itself.
Jarid wondered why he had given up so many pieces but Eldr took advantage and moved in. Each turn felt long as each of them stood panting on their pedestals and planned their next move.
Finally, Eldr seemed to have Ethan surrounded and took out his pawn, but Ethan just smiled as he stood up straight and let his castle disappear as well. It took a few moments for Eldr to realize what he was doing and quickly allow all his pieces to disappear as well, but by then it was already too late. He had wasted too much magic sustaining his pieces and since the official had not called his earlier strategy of simply not taking his turn, that meant he couldn’t call Ethan on it either. All Ethan had to do was lower his opponent’s magic reserves to the point he could outlast him.
After that it was a lot of intense waiting until one of the two contestants could no longer maintain their king. After an agonizing few minutes Elder’s king finally sputtered and went out as he collapsed against his podium. Ethan’s own king crumbled soon after as Black Squad’s cheers rang out along with those of the spectators.
Ethan shakily dismounted the podium and was immediately surrounded by the rest of Black Squad with pats on the back and joyous exclamations. Meanwhile Eldr was lowered from his pedestal and Red Squad helped him sit down while trying to cheer him up.
The official announced an intermission for a meal and a break while the next few events were prepared. Jarid shared a meal with Black Squad where they discussed their strategy for Ben and Steven’s events. As they were heading back to the arena, one of the nearby staff dropped a box he was carrying. Jarid paused to help him and called to the others that he would catch up. The man thanked him and continued on his way, but as Jarid turned to catch up with the others he was confronted by Dominic.
“Well, well, peasant. It looks like you were able to cheat your way to the finals. I honestly wish I had the chance to face you in front of everyone.”
Jarid frowned. It had been some time since he had last seen Dominic. Ever since the night he had accidentally gone through his dragonthro transformation after witnessing his abuse of Smolder, Dominic had avoided him as much as possible.
“Why have you stopped me Dominic? I am going to the arena to support my squad.”
Jarid’s voice was stern but Dominic paid it no mind.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. There is someone who wants to meet you in the forest nearby. They were also the one who revealed the trick you pulled on us that day in the dragon stables, so don’t think you can deceive me again. They sent me to retrieve you, and to provide a little extra incentive, we captured that Red Squad fool who disgraces all nobility by considering you an equal. Don’t worry though. We’ll be sure you get back in time for your match,” he finished with an evil grin.
Jarid knew that there was a high chance that Dominic was merely bluffing and the noble superiority faction had prepared something to keep him from competing, but he just couldn’t risk it. Besides, he felt confident that with Brazor’s training he could escape any trap they had prepared for him. There were two matches before his, and each one should take a long time.
With a growl of annoyance Jarid agreed to follow Dominic.
After sneaking out of the academy, Dominic led Jarid down the mountain and some distance into the nearby forest. Jarid kept his magic barrier up in case of a sneak attack. Eventually they came to a clearing and as they approached the opposite side a rider and dragon emerged from the shadows. Dominic stood beside the rider with a confident smirk.
The dragon was a Flame Wing and though a bit on the shorter side, it had large wings and muscles of steel. This was fortunate since its rider was a large man with thick muscles that nearly burst from his Flame Wing armor. The armor itself bore many scars. A sign both of the numerous battles it had been in, and the recklessness of its owner.
“Hello, boy. It would seem you are just as foolish as ever. But I suppose I shouldn’t have expected so much from a commoner.”
Jarid’s barrier faltered as he stared in shock. He hadn’t recognised him before with his armor on but there was no mistaking that voice. The deep, cutting, cruelty could only belong to one man.
Lt. Briar cracked his knuckles and his neck. “I’ve come to teach you one final lesson boy, and this time, I won’t be holding back. Don’t worry about paying attention either, because I am about to pound noble superiority into your worthless skull!”
End of chapter
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Wohoo, my 100th review. Let’s see if I can complain about Shadow being taken some more in this chapter xd
Unless she’s too shaken by what’s happened? But it feels like enough time has passed and she knows what’s at stake. Hope Jarid’s return isn’t disturbing her focus.
No mention of Shadow at all this chapter, tsk.
But since Jarid mentioned Airel is one of the strongest members of Black, I feel confident
Yeeeeeiiikks, I hope she does horrible stuff to Brokkr.
And he goes back on his words the second a woman fights back. Ugh. Some more commentary of Jarid would have been appreciated. Some notes about how Airel’s fighting has changed while he’s been gone or something. Just to ground readers more in the fight. I didn’t feel all that invested.
Tho I do like that Brokkr is at least respectful at the end.
I like the chess game and that they went in with a clear strategy.
I also like that there’s a timer on the pieces that’s really interesting and well implemented. I also like that Ethan really struggled and how well it’s show that he fought for outlasting his opponent. Well done!
Okay… what? Dominic feels like he appeared out of nowhere and his speech after: “There is someone who wants to meet you in the forest nearby.” feels super disjointed and is hard to parse. I had to read it three times to figure out what he wanted since him wanting to remove Jarid comes so much out of left field.
“he felt confident that with Brazor’s training he could escape any trap they had prepared for him” But not confident enough to go save Shadow? Can you tell I’m still bitter about that? Especially the more I learn about how dragons are treated here. Like second class citizens. Or animals. And here’s this chosen brother of his, not even trying to go beyond what’s legal to save him.
Can’t say I’m that invested into his … upcoming fight or something with Briar since we already know that Jarid gets to return to the tournament, Dominic mentioned that and removed some of the tension. My guess is that Jarid gets hurt now and has to face his round in the tournament injured and at disadvantage and either he fails bc of that and redeems himself in the random draw round or he wins anyway to show his determination and we skip the random round.
I'll definitely add a comment that Airel's fighting ability has improved while Jarid was gone. She's totally the type to train hard no matter what.
The build up of Dominic and Brazor were a long time coming as antagonists so I didn't do much for re-introduction. That's one of the hard things about joining a book near the end I guess.
As for how dragons are treated, you're right. Most humans see them as animals at best, and bloodthirsty monsters at worst. But Smolder is a dragon with a rider, so no-one at the academy can harm him without his rider's permission. Similar to how harming another person's horse is very illegal.
Ah no don't make this about me not knowing the characters
I meant it more like the scene was confusingly established and that Dominic, to me, literally came out of nowhere. He was just... there. A little bit of setting the scene before or after he adresses Jarid would work wonders ^^
Ah, I didn't understand what you meant.
Not sure how I can set the scene better though. Do you have any ideas?
Hm so the scene currently has a very overloaded paragraph that skips from the end of the chess match over the characters having a meal and a strategy session straight into the Dominic confrontation. I think it would help if you... Give an indication that the time skip is coming to an end. Maybe spend more time describing just where this person drops the box. Descriptions are a good way to show that we're back in the narrative. Right now I can't quite picture just where this concentration takes place and how Jarid's squad manages to miss this. Don't have a good idea on how long helping box guy took.
Thanks for the advice
Any time! If you have more questions, you can always PM me ^^
Hello, My Friend!
It’s me, Raven, and I’m here to review the next chapter in this great story, using my Familiar method! Let’s dive right in, shall we?
~ A full analysis and breakdown
OH MAN, this chapter was INTENSE!! Two heated events for the tournament, Airel and Ethan both getting to show off, and then some kind of setup toward the end that caught me completely off-guard! Let's get into the details though.
Plot and Pacing: Great! A very smaller part of me wishes that there was maybe a little more setup time between the events, maybe with some more setting details, but I digress; the pacing was still epic, especially during both the fights, and the cliffhanger you left us on? Oh man, BRUTAL!! Love it!!
Descriptions and Setting: Very nice! I guess this kinda ties into what I mentioned under the last section, about maybe the potential for more setting details between the challenges, but again, that's a very tiny thing. Overarchingly, I loved the aesthetics described in this chapter! Like, the chess pieces of magic? SO cool!
Action: AWESOME!! Airel wrecking Brokkr was quite a feat in and of itself, their fight was so raw and even I had concerns about where Airel might fall in the fight. But man, she WRECKED him, and that moment where she countered the flames with a shield of water? SOOO coool!!!! I am imagining that as some epic anime moment I would absolutely have a fangirl moment over XD
As for that mage chess, ooo, the strategies at play there! At first, I was afraid it would all be down to chess talk, but Eldr exploiting that "flames flicker" quip to hide pawns and stuff, then it all boiling down to a game of will/energy...OH MAN, that was AWESOME!! Love, love, love the action in this chapter!
Characterization: I feel like the chess battle especially showedoff Ethan's personality, as well as his general approach to training, combat, etcetera (even his choice in dragons!). It feels like...well, needless to say, he has a great sense of strategy and made some awesome plays, but when stuff gets real, he shows off this incredible amount of willpower and strength that lets him pull through the fight. And I like that his style is a bit dynamic in that sense, it's an interesting thing to pick up on!
As for Airel, OOO boy!! If Jarid's talk with her wasn't enough to motivate her and get her back to her bada** self, those quips from Brokkr definitely seemed to do the trick! And it made her victory THAT much more satisfying!
Grammar and Wording: Overarchingly? Looks great! No complaints!
~ Some nitpicks and little recommendations
Nothing to throw here this time! Great writing job ~
~ My reactions, theories, and favorite parts
Needless to say, looking back on this chapter, ALL of my attention has landed on A) Lt. Briar and B) Dominic. And on one hand, I can see why Jarid took the bait and met them as planned—you want to know what these guys are up to, especially since Dominic has a vested interest in both Black Squad losing and just humiliating him, but at the same time, what if this is IN ITSELF a trap?! Like, if Briar gets him to fight, things go sour, and somebody sees that as grounds to disqualify him...OH MAN, there are so many ways this can go wrong, I fear lol
But for now, onto highlights and reactions!
Awesome chapter name, love the rhyme! That's it, I just had to point that out lol.
My reaction to this dialogue did a TOTAL 180 as I read it XD I mean, great on him for wanting a fair fight (even though, by his own admission, he did not see it as a fair fight...). On the other hand, yikes, that creep energy with the "heh heh" to really make it sink in...Blegh.
[Minor thing I didn't catch at first, missing question mark where the brackets are ^^]. Anyway, LOVE that response! Lol!
HAHA, love the ironic cut-off here!!
Another 180, lol. At first I was kinda side-eying that like, "eh? this guy, who just said what he did, is admitting this?" Then, of course, there's the catch lol. And man, what a tense moment! Likewise, Red Squad really was a great team for this event, because the use of fire makes everything feel so intense!
OOO, this little cheat he found by letting his pieces flicker...I mean, I have a hard time telling if this was totally cheap and an unfair advantage for a fire mage, or if it was just a really smart play from an opponent. Either way, this definitely kept me at the edge of my seat for the chess match!
Okay, THAT tho—THAT feels cheap!! And man, I did not expect a chess match to be this intense! XD
DUDE, here I am waiting for some epic *literal* checkmate, and it comes down to this. It all boiling down to a game of resolve and magical strength, this was SOOO cool, and such a perfect end to mage's chess!!
In-moment reaction: red flag, red flag, RED FLAG!!
Oh man...Not this guy again (00 ')
MadThoughts...Overall, this chapter was AWESOME! The tension built up in Airel's fight, the unpredictability of the chess match, then being totally blindsided by Dominic and Briar all made for such an awesome read and kept me glued to the screen all the way through! I am both nervous and eager to see what these final events will entail, and of course, what will happen to Jarid and/or Briar here...
Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
Thanks for the comment about descriptions between the fights. I was feeling a bit rushed to get all the fights done in these last few chapters. Honestly, I might come back to this section and redo a few things. Your feedback is very helpful in determining what things might need a bit more focus.
You're welcome!