The final round of the tournament was a king-of-the-hill style event where the participants would be chosen by spinning a wheel. It was very simple. A golden crown would be set in the center of the arena on top of a large mound of stone and sand. Whoever could wear the crown for the longest would win. Several officials would each be holding a timer for each participant to ensure accuracy. The timers would only be going so long as the crown was properly seated on the participant’s head.
Jarid stood on one side of the, now cleared, arena with Black Squad and Red Squad stood on the other as the wheel was brought in. Ethan insisted he check the wheel for any tampering and Eldr concurred. Both of them checked the wheel and agreed it was fair.
Names were then assigned to each panel on the wheel and Red Squad was given the first spin. The wheel landed on Helviti and his squad congratulated him on being chosen. Then it was Black Squad’s turn.
Despite how much he trusted his friends, Jarid was hoping it would land on him more than anyone else. Especially not Ethan or…
“Felicia…” Ben whispered in nervous anxiety as the wheel came to a jarring halt on her name.
Logi smirked and a silent wave of worry washed over Black Squad and many of the spectators. They all knew she was probably the weakest fighter out of the squad despite how good she was at stealth, healing and stamina. A one-on-one fight in the open was even harder than defending a dummy in the forest!
“Don’t worry Felicia. We will help form a strategy to fight this guy,” Jarid encouraged.
“Come on guys. Let’s head back to the dorm and plan our next move,” Steven said cheerfully. A little too cheerfully actually.
Jarid looked back to see Steven waving goodbye to Red Squad. Jarid could tell something was off. Steven was using the same smile he did when playing nice with higher nobility, but if you had never seen his genuine smile it was almost impossible to tell he was faking.
When he turned back to Jarid his smile never wavered, but he leaned in to whisper in his ear. “The selection was rigged. Someone stopped the wheel early on Felicia’s cone.”
Jarid tried to keep his expression from changing and instead smiled back and nodded. He hoped that no one could see how fake his smile was. If someone suspected that they knew it was rigged they would stop them from doing anything about it.
When they all got back to the dorm Steven revealed everything.
“I was watching closely and the wheel stopped early. It was likely an earth magic user since the wheel was made of wood. It looked like they grew out the peg on Felicia’s section to make it stop, then returned it to normal size. The stopper bounced a little too forcefully off the peg for it to have normally stopped there.”
Jarid was amazed by Steven’s attention to detail. He hadn’t even thought to watch for cheating during the wheel spin.
“So, what are we going to do?” Ethan asked.
“Obviously, we need to find the culprit and force them to admit what they’ve done!” Ariel declared.
“And just how do you plan on doing that?” Gunther asked.
Everyone but Steven spun around in surprise to find him standing in the doorway. Steven replied with a tone of focus and determination. “We will search for all those who have earth magic and are affiliated with the noble supremacy faction. We should start with those who were in the arena during the wheel spin.”
Gunther nodded. “Very well. I shall assist you in this. Though we must also be careful. The nobility are not above using dirty tricks to end the match before we can find proper evidence.”
“I will watch over her from the stands,” Ben volunteered. “I promise to keep an eye out for any dirty tricks, and I will not allow anyone to interfere with the match.”
For the next few minutes they discussed how they were going to split up. Steven asked to go on his own. Ethan and Airel paired up, which left Jarid and Gunther. But first they all walked Felicia to the arena. It would be strange if they didn’t show her even that much support.
While they were waiting for the event, Jarid asked Steven how his event had gone.
Steven smiled proudly. “That guy never stood a chance. We were both given a message scroll and told to deliver it to the perch by any means necessary. Whoever brought the message to the top first would win and if both of us lost our scrolls, we could get new ones in the dragon dome. Obviously I was the faster one out of the two of us,” he bragged in such an over-the-top tone that Jarid couldn’t help but laugh.
“Heh, yeah. Anyway, he tried to take out my scroll rather than beat me to the top. Fortunately I simply used my wind magic to give me a quick boost and outran his flames. You can thank the leader of Grey Squad for teaching me that little trick. But about halfway up I ran into a bunch of traps. No one had told me but apparently my competition knew of course. He was able to run straight past while I was dealing with them and cover the path in flames.”
Jarid was feeling a bit concerned despite knowing his friend had won. The battle must have been tough.
Steven laughed. “Unfortuantly for him I knew a different way. I still had to catch up without being seen so he didn’t light up the path again. Thankfully I’m pretty good at keeping myself hidden and he didn’t even notice me until I was practically at the finish line. I can become practically invisible if I do say so myself,” he finished with his hands on his hips and nose in the air.
Jarid was grateful for his humor in such a tense situation. It also helped pass the time until the preparations for the final match were ready.
They arrived a little early just in case, and Felicia stepped into the arena. The arena itself had changed once again to contain a large pile of stones with a tiny platform on top. The small gold circlet twinkled from its spot on the top. Around the pile was a complex arrangement of obstacles and barriers.
“The first to arrive is Black Squad’s chosen member… Felicia!” The official announced as the crowd cheered.
“And now for her opponent… the strongest member of Red Squad. You know him, you love him, welcome… Surtur!”
“WHAT!” everyone in Black Squad exclaimed.
The official quickly continued. “Due to an unexpected injury, Helviti will be unable to participate. The rules state that in such a case another member of the Squad will be chosen to take their place. Be grateful, for this student is sure to put on a show no matter his opponent!” he declared, and the crowd roared their approval.
Jarid wanted to smack himself. He remembered now that he had read about that rule in the letter describing the events. Why hadn’t he thought to do that? Then again, he never would have injured a member of his squad, even if it meant their chance of victory was diminished.
“Okay. We must move quickly in order to apprehend the one who rigged the final event. As long as we catch them before the hour is up for the match, we should be able to call for a rematch,” Jarid whispered. Everyone nodded.
“Alright, we each know our jobs. Let’s go!”
They each split off. Earlier, Gunther, Steven, and Ethan had made a list of all the potential suspects. It was doubtful any of them would leave but Jarid and Gunther headed to the gate just in case any of the suspects had fled the academy. On the way Jarid turned to Gunther.
“Hey, Gunther? I know it may not be my place to ask, but… what did you do to Lt. Briar?”
Gunther didn’t flinch at the question and answered in a serious voice, “I dealt with him. You don’t need to know the details, but he won’t be bothering you again and none of what happened between you will be found out. I give you my word.”
Jarid’s gaze fell. He could only think of one way Gunther had ‘dealt’ with Lt. Briar and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it. The man certainly deserved everything he got and more, but still…
Jarid shook his head. He didn’t have time to be thinking about that right now. He had to focus! Even if Felicia could survive the entire match, they had a limited time to find the man responsible for cheating during the selection.
Gunther talked to the guards at the gate and was informed that no one had left. In fact almost everyone was in the arena watching the event.
When Jarid heard this, he realized that they hadn’t sent anyone to search the arena! Still, it wouldn’t take long. Jarid voiced this to Gunther and he agreed. They quickly searched through the main academy building on their way back to the dragon dome and met with Ethan and Airel. When they heard Jarid’s idea to search the arena, they volunteered to do it themselves. Gunther was needed to search the staff only areas so they left it to the two of them.
Jarid was starting to panic as the time was slipping by. They had nearly finished searching the whole academy when they came across Steven trying to wash a red stain out of his clothes in one of the bathrooms. There was a strange metal smell in the air as well. It reminded him of the raw iron from his father’s storage.
“What are you doing Steven?! I thought you cared about this.”
Steven quickly flipped his clothes inside out. Strangely, the inside couldn’t be distinguished from the outside. Was he always prepared in case his clothes were stained?
“Sorry Jarid. I found the perpetrator and was able to... persuade him to write his confession down. I just didn’t want to present the evidence looking unprofessional,” Steven explained while pulling a note from his pants pocket.
Jarid grabbed the note. “Come on. We have to make it back to the arena. We only have a few minutes left!”
Steven’s eyes widened. “A few minutes?! I was told they had- I mean, I heard from someone who went here once, that they had longer.”
“Weren’t you listening? The official said as much when he explained the match.”
Steven looked down as they sprinted to the arena. “I thought I could trust them…” he muttered.
As they approached Jarid heard the crowd cheer and applause. No! It can’t be! Jarid thought.
Jarid burst into the arena and his nose was immediately assaulted by the smell of burning plants. He looked for the official and spotted him just as he made one final announcement.
“And with that, the participant can no longer continue. Congratulations to our winner…”
No... No! Jarid screamed in his mind..
“...Felicia Hale of Black Squad!”
The crowd roared and Jarid stood stunned as he looked around. He soon spotted Felicia standing on a massive mound of vines with the golden circlet on her head. Surtur of Red Squad was laying limp at her feet.
Jarid looked back at Gunther who was standing still with a stoic look, but his fists and jaw were clenched and his eyes glistened as if tears could burst forth any moment. Then with a curt nod, he moved into the arena to embrace and congratulate his daughter.
Ben, Ethan, and Airel hopped down into the arena to join Jarid and Steven.
“What happened?” Jarid asked, still a little bewildered by the sight before him.
“We were just as surprised as you,” Airel replied.
Ethan excitedly began explaining the entire match.
“The match started with some big, flashy fire magic from Surtur. He declared that he would do his best to give the audience a good show despite his opponent. Then he blasted fire at Felicia, causing her to block, and quickly scaled the pile of boulders in the middle with a mix of decidedly unnecessary acrobatics. Once at the top he covered the entire pile in flames and rained down attacks. Felicia had no choice but to adopt the same shield tactic she had in the first match.
“After a few minutes the crowd was getting bored, so Surtur taunted Felicia about being a coward and stopped attacking her shield. It then became a fire breathing performance while seemingly nothing was going on inside the shield. Then a vine suddenly sprouted from the smoldering rock beneath Surtur’s feet and took him by surprise, knocking the circlet from his head. The crowd was impressed by this as Felicia quickly darted out to grab it before sealing herself up again. Surtur was also impressed. He said, ‘I suppose you’ve earned the crown with a move like that. But once I finish my performance, I’ll be taking it back. You’d better give it up when I ask or you might get a scar.’
“Then he proceeded to wrap up his show and launched at her. Felicia defended herself for about a minute before casting the crown aside and retreating into her shell. Surtur laughed and taunted her some more before climbing back up the boulders which had completely cooled by then. A few more minutes passed and the time where Felicia would no longer be able to make up the distance between them approached. But before that could happen the ground started rumbling and the entire pile of boulders crumbled away to reveal that it had become a mound of vines! Slowly, throughout the fight, Felicia had been growing her vines within the pile and at last they burst forth and snatched the circlet from Surtur’s head.
“Surtur tried to resist and burn the vines, but for some reason his flames were barely charring them now. The vines grew thorns and held him tight while Felicia rose and donned the circlet. She promised to repay him for every mocking comment he had made about her and her squad, before proceeding to beat him within an inch of his life. She didn’t even use her vines, just her bare fists! Now, since Surtur has gone unconscious, the remaining time will all go to Felicia. And with the time Surtur so foolishly handed her, she has more than enough to win!”
Jarid was more than a little surprised. He had never seen Felicia punch anyone hard enough to do serious damage. It was hard for him to imagine her beating someone to a bloody pulp. But even more surprising was the amount of magic power she had shown. Before now she was barely strong enough to withstand flames from an average member of Red Squad. But now she was doing all this? He could hardly believe she was holding back so much in their training, though he had suspected she was stronger than she looked.
He didn’t have any more time to think on this though as the crowd had finally made their way to the arena floor and was swarming them with praise. Lifting them high in the air and throwing celebratory magic into the air.
The rest of Jarid’s time at the academy was a blur. So many people wanted to speak with them from reporters, to proud teachers, even a few friends. Then they were rushing to prepare for the ride to the capital. Jarid hardly got any sleep as he packed his things, remembering to hide away the necklace with Shadow’s scale at the bottom. As he packed it away, he rubbed the scale and promised to find his brother no matter what.
The next day, as they were preparing to leave, Dain showed up with a large package. He ensured that the contents would be safely handed over to Jarid upon his arrival in the capital without being opened or tampered with. Then he came up to Jarid and made a show of congratulating him before leaning in and whispering in his ear.
“I know about your brother and he is quite the kind soul. If you see him in the capital please tell him that the young one he left in my care is safe and doing well. The package is a gift to you Jarid, from me and him. Everything he left behind as well as a new set of armor are contained within. I think it will suit you both well.”
Jarid wasn’t sure what Shadow’s connection to the old armor smith was but he was grateful to have another human on their side.
With a nod Jarid climbed onto Smolder’s back and Black Squad along with their escort left Dragon Rider Academy.
As Jarid rose into the air he had only one thought on his mind.
I am on my way. I will save you, Shadow!
End of chapter
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First thing first, I had to check if “Battel” is an English word. Otherwise, there’s a typo in the Chapter Title ^^°


Oh jee, poor Felicia. Time for redemption? Also ofc they had to rig the competition ò.ó I don’t see them figuring out who did this will actually help. How are they going to prove it? And who’s to say that Felicia wouldn’t have been chosen anyway? It was a random draw after all
I like Steven’s personality
It feels a bit weird that Airel wants to go to the dorm to discuss strategy and then they are immediately back in the arena?
Oh I like the length that the opponents are going to. I just wonder why they needed to? Did they expect the same foul play from Black and therefore preemptively injured Helviti? They couldn’t think that Helviti stood no chance against Felicia right?
I feel like the paragraph this quote belongs to is riddled with repetitions and feels very rushed:
…what: “Sorry Jarid. I found the perpetrator and was able to... persuade him to write his confession down.” That all feels so… anti-climactic? Like, it probably says something extremely sinister about Steven and that he has a very dark side (WHERE WAS THAT WHEN SHADOW WAS TAKEN aarrgh) but for all the tension in the chapter this feels … too convenient? Like you could have skipped this plot point entirely and not lose much. It’s just padding?
And Jarid doesn’t question it. The morals of these characters are all over the place.
YES! Ignore the naysayers! I don’t care how she did it I am just so happy Felicia won by her own merits! Hahah!
Now I’m even more annoyed that we wasted time with Steven’s undisclosed dark side and the hunt for a confession. I wanted to see Felicia being awesome and the way they recount the events is just unsatisfying.
Again no discussions with Smolder. No discussions with ANY of their dragons. It makes me think that you sometimes forget that they are people too.
Wow! Can't believe I had a spelling mistake in my title! Thanks for pointing it out.
As for the fight, I probably could have just had the final showdown as Jarid watches the fight, but I had a few things I wanted to touch on and ran out of space in this Wing. I've been trying to hint at Steven's dark side for the reader without Jarid catching on.
I struggled a bit with the search for evidence and didn't have enough space to flush it out. I was going for a tense murder-mystery vibe but only had half a chapter. Maybe I'll change it later, but I think some readers will enjoy it with a few tweaks.
As for talking to their dragons, I can't think of any meaningful conversations they would have, and in my mind the main group would be far to busy thinking about the tournament to do so. I know I was when I wrote it.
Hello, My Friend!
It’s me, Raven, and I’m here to review the next chapter in this great story, using my Familiar method! Let’s dive right in, shall we?
~ A full analysis and breakdown
WOW, what an ending for this tournament—and this wing by extension! (I'm assuming it's the end for this wing anyway). The trial starts out rocky enough—king of the hill is a challenge in and of itself (I remember from my Halo days XD), but with FELICIA on the frontlines, man what a twist! And with the team scrambling to look for ways around this pick and ways to secure a rematch, just as you're getting a feeling that it's going to be they're only hope...an AMAZING and shocking win, well-earned!! Let's get into the details though.
Plot and Pacing: Awesome!! I love the amount of twists you managed to include in this one trial—really kept me on my toes lol. The scramble to find the cheater and secure a rematch was a great way of showing how much doubt even Felicia's own teammates had in her strength, without being cruel about it, and after the results of her first fight, even the reader can't help but flinch a little. And her coming out on top not only felt realistic, as her plays were so strategic and took advantage of a vain character, but so well-earned!! At first I was just glad to see her get any time in the spotlight, now I'm so glad she got a whole moment to shine!
Descriptions and Setting: Great! LOVE the continued attention to sensory notes to bring us into the environment. And although a part of me wishes that we got to actually "see" Felicia's trial in real time, not only was Ethan's recollection so vivid and felt more like a flashback (fitting for his character), but I honestly really enjoyed the impact of Jarid running into the arena last-minute, getting struck by that announcer's end-of-trial comment, and then hearing Felicia's name and seeing her standing atop the wreckage. THAT felt like such a triumphant king-of-the-hill moment!
Action: AWESOME! Felicia's stealthy plays in the fight not only really showed off her primary skill and strategy, but it felt like the most realistic way for someone whose magic is centered on plants to win against someone whose magic is centered on fire.
Characterization: I loved seeing Jarid's dynamics with his team here. For example, his own analysis when it comes to bending the rules to fight back against the cheaters (refusing to injure a teammate). Plus, doubting Felicia, but not in a judgmental or remotely demeaning way, just in a way that has him concerned for her safety—and even if that doubt was coming from a place of judgment, I mean, victory in this tournament could determine Shadow's freedom, if not his life. Can't blame him for not wanting to take risks!
Grammar and Wording: Overarchingly? Great!
~ Some nitpicks and little recommendations
Not much to put here at all! Let’s break it down…
A tiny typo where it says "seven" instead of "steven."
That’s all! Great writing job ~
~ My reactions, theories, and favorite parts
Well, this is the last chapter for now, thus I don't have much theory material to go on! But I cannot WAIT to see what you have in store for Shadow and Jarid next. Will Jarid finally meet the other dragonets? How will that go, coming from either way? What about Smolder, where will he stand in this mess? Oh man, what will Shadow think of Smolder, actually? Ooo...
*ahem* Onto highlights and reactions then!
As soon as I read this moment, I was cringing. Even the reader knows this is a high-stakes round, and now we have a high-risk pick!
Seriously, props to Steven! This makes me think; it may sound a little random, but I feel like there's this trope in making characters (particularly in writing spheres like YWS and like) where the "class clown" or anyone with a lot of humor must also be kinda dumb or inattentive, and moments like this must fall on the brainiacs and the strategists so they can show off. Kind of like how those same braniac types of characters often wind up being shrimpy and weak. It's nice to see characters that definitely have their niche, but don't feel like a carbon-copy of a sitcom personality, you know? lol.
Oh, it's cool to get these details about Steven's trial! And what a dirty freaking tactic, not telling him about the traps! JEEZ, these nobles...
Again, SUCH a dirty tactic!! And the fact that Black Squad gets no prior warning, and there seems to be so little discussion or any time to react or change things up, really shows you that they KNOW what they're doing. Red Squad, and the people running the show. Ugh...
I like this moment from Jarid! It really shines a light on how low Red Squad is sinking just to mess with them and avoid losing to a pEaSaNt. Sure, Jarid COULD exploit rules like that, but at what cost? Even if Shadow is on the line, would harming Felicia be worth it, to get her out of the event and replace her with someone else? I would think HECK NO, lol.
Ominous wording that made me curious (00 ') But he had it coming!!!
Ahahhh, I LOVED this moment!! You really catch us off-guard with the smell of burning plants, a downed participant, Jarid's mental screaming, etc. What a pleasant and happy surprise!!!!
Oh yeah, I forgot Felicia was Gunther's daughter! Aw, what a sweet moment to show that off ^^
Again, this feels more like a flashback as you read it, than just someone retelling us the event, so props to Ethan! Sounds like he's a great storyteller lol. That aside though, again, I just have to say that these sneaky moves were SO cool, and were really the highlight of the action in this chapter. And I love that it was a king of the hill event, because just those aesthetics and mental images of who wears the crown and who comes out on top feel so...I mean, triumphant is the best word I have for it, Felicia feels like the well-deserved winner of this round AND the MVP of the whole tournament at this point.
Cool!! I love that you managed to squeeze in a few words from Dain, and the project that both he and Shadow contributed to.
Ah, what an ending!!!
MadThoughts...Overall, this was an AMAZING wing of the story, with so much tension and so many twists! Definitely one of my favorites thus far. Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
As the chapter wrapping up Wing 5, I was so excited to read your review!
I still feel like I have a lot to improve on in this chapter so I'll probably edit this one and add another chapter so I have the room to fully express everything in the detail I wanted to.
Plus, I realized a few days ago that I actually planned to have a wrap up scene for Dominic's character arc. The question now is whether he will embrace the future he saw in Lt. Briar's actions or redeem himself by giving up his arrogant ways.
Oh, that would be an interesting addition (the wrap-up to dominic's arc i mean)!! And good question. I can easily see him going either way. Huh...