As Jarid rode Brazor in his dragon form across the molten lake bridge, Brazor began his tale in the human language. Partially because Jarid was a human and partially to keep any other dragons from hearing if they happened to fly by.
“This is the story of the seven Dragonthro of the Magic Academy, their leader Mordon, and the destruction of the Magic City,” he spoke in a deep theatrical voice.
“Long ago, there was a great city known as The Magic City. The wonders created there astonished the rest of the world. Everyone wanted to learn their secret techniques and attend their schools. However, the Magic Academy chose their students based not on test scores or politics, but on the futures, they saw in each student. Myself and six other dragon-born were selected to become Dragonthro. We were saved from short lives of ostracization followed by painful death. All of us felt indebted to them and wanted to some day repay the entire Magic City for their kindness. But in our folly, we became their destruction,” Brazor continued ominously.
“Each of the dragon born was connected to a different element and we mastered them through long years of study and practice. However, Mordon was the first dragon born in history with no affinity for a particular element, so he decided to master them all. It had never been done and many scoffed at him, but he wouldn’t be deterred.
“He was a genius and worked hard every day. He was able to master each element in record time and created many combination spells that impressed even the leaders of the Magic Academy. He was labelled a protégé and had considerable influence.”
Jarid listened as Brazor described this person with a sense of reverence in his voice.
“One day a group of adventurers and dragon hunters returned to the magic city bearing a wonderous tale. They had infiltrated the city of the Night Wings and stolen ancient scrolls containing dragon magic. Of these scrolls one in particular caught Mordon’s attention. He had always admired and revered dragons for their strength, magic and noble yet savage nature. He loved them and tried to learn everything he could about them. So, he knew enough about dragon language to make out the purpose of the spell. It would allow a powerful dragon to change their race at will.
“After that Mordon spent weeks locked in his room only coming out to eat or grab more books. He was able to translate the spell but quickly ran into a problem. The magic was used by a legendary dragon that could control all elements and had the strength of more than six dragons. But even wielding that much power was not the problem he faced.
“In the Magic Academy there was a rule that you should never use more than three elements at once. The reason being, that it takes exponentially more concentration and control for each element you add to a spell. The university had made and exception for Mordon, saying that he could use four or even five if absolutely necessary. Such was his power and control. But controlling all six was dangerous not to mention against the law for even him.
“Even so, Mordon found in the six of us, willing accomplices. We believed in him completely and were excited by the challenge and prestige of being the first to pull off such a feat. We were each strong enough in magic to equal a dragon and trained for months in secret; helping Mordon control the magic we gave him. At last, we felt ready to try the spell.”
“Now, at this time, there was a festival held every ten years to celebrate the advances made and to be grateful for our prosperity. Nearly everyone who was connected to the Magic City returned during this time; for the festival was grand indeed. It was also an opportunity for upcoming mages and scientists to show off their inventions and new spells. We decided to display our spell in the grandest place we could find. Right in the center of the city.”
Brazor shook his head sadly. His voice full of regret.
“We used a large display of dragonthro magic to get people’s attention. Then we announced that we were going to attempt an ancient dragon spell which would change history forever. The entire city seemed to be watching as Mordon took the stage. He was well known and people cheered. Then, when the rest of us entered the stage, the cheering redoubled; for the Dragonthro were also known for their grand spells.
After accepting their cheers, we all got into position in a circle around Mordon. The crowd went quiet as we began gathering magic and connecting together. Once all was ready Mordon began the spell. We could feel it working. Our dragon features showed through and became more and more pronounced. I could feel my wings and tail growing. My hands becoming talons. Then it all went wrong.”
Jarid could tell by the way he paused midair and from the shudders that ran through his body that he was reliving the nightmare of those events. Then he seemed to shake it off with a flap of his wings and continued.
“We all felt when the first whisps of magic flowed beyond our control. The trickle soon became a stream which widened into a flood. We couldn’t stop it. The magic was growing stronger and stronger as each element built upon the last. The end began with a rumble in the earth and dark clouds gathering above as strong winds blew rain into our faces. The plants in the square began growing out of control wrapping around buildings like green tentacles.
“All of us cried out in pain for the transformation which had felt strange and wonderous before, now caused us great pain as it sped up. The crowd started to panic and cried for us to stop but the magic within our own bodies had grown to such a degree that we no longer had any control over it.
“Geysers burst from the ground and lava flowed from cracks in the earth. The stage below us fell away and I realised that we were all held in place by the magic swirling around us. It started to rain which tuned to hail as the wind picked up. Destroying buildings and tearing the ever-growing plants out of the ground. Great chasms opened in the ground in some places while magma and water shot out of others. Fires were raging uncontrollably and lighting struck all over the city. At this point the magic inside me was causing me to pass out and the last thing I remember was looking at the other dragon born.
“My friends.
“Mordon was writhing in agony, but the others had already passed out. The one strange thing was that all of us had become dragons…
“All of us… except Mordon.
“When I awoke some time later, I found myself in my human form naked on the ground. Some of the other dragon born were already awake and some were not. I found a blanket around my shoulders which I could tell had been made with one of Mordon’s spells. I looked around expecting to see rubble and destruction everywhere but all I saw was a flat, muddy plain reaching almost to the horizon.
“Mordon sat nearby and I asked him where we were. When he turned to me, I saw an expression that would make anyone’s heart break. His face was gaunt, and his eyes were red. Like he had cried for days even beyond tears.
“‘You now lie on it’s remains.’ He whispered.
“Normally he was so confident and enthusiastic but, in that moment, he sounded so hollow and broken that I hardly recognised it was he who had spoken. At first, I was unable to comprehend what he had said but slowly I realised that The Magic City… The wonderous place that had raised us…”
Brazor choked up for a moment as tears trickled down his face only to evaporate in the heat as they reached the end of the bridge across the magma lake.
“It was gone. Not a trace was left.”
Brazor paused and took a deep breath to steady himself.
“Soon afterward, the king arrived with his army to help. Apparently, the massive magic disaster we had caused could be seen halfway across the continent and they had come to help, but they found nothing left but us. We told them what had happened and though the king was compassionate to our plight he had to punish us for what we had done.
The six of us with dragon forms he banished from the human realm. He told us to go live with the dragons of the tribes we had become and warn him should the dragons ever decide to attack. Mordon had been friends with the king for a long time but even so, his punishment as the one who not only cast the spell but broke the law about using all six elements, was far worse.”
Brazor quieted his voice as they entered the back courtyard of the Flame Wing palace. There was a small garden in the middle and on the far side was the entrance to the palace itself with two guards stationed on either side.
“Instead of execution, Mordon was given the task of crossing the great sea alone and could only return if he found new lands across the sea. Even back then, few believed in its existence, and most believed his banishment was little more than a death sentence. But the king believed in Mordon and gave him one of our kingdom’s greatest treasures in the hopes that he would survive. It was the heart of and ancient dragon which had crystallized into pure magic. Even the king didn’t know how it was meant to be used.
“In recompense for our folly, each of us promised to grant our knowledge to any who found us and decided to wait in the temples that are a part of every dragon tribe. Many things have happened since then but that is all we have time for right now,” Brazor finished as they approached the palace entrance.
Wow. Jarid thought as he tried to process all that he had just heard. That story was incredible. A spell that would let you turn into a dragon. How he wished he could do that. Then he could fly alongside Shadow instead of having his adopted dragon brother carry him around. However, his thoughts were interrupted when Brazor switched to dragon as he called to one of the guards.
“I have brought the human who has been staying at the temple with me. The queen has ordered that he be brought before her for questioning.”
The guard on the right side of the entrance nodded. “Very well. I will escort you to the throne room.”
Jarid was still amazed by the shining palace of the Flame Wings. Now that he was not suffocating from the heat, he was able to appreciate it even more. Though the golden glow was dazzling, Jarid looked around hoping to spot Smolder rather than to gawk at all the palace had to offer.
“Now presenting the guardian of the temple, Brazor!” The guard announced when they reached the doors of the throne room. As the massive doors began to open, the guard stood to the side and saluted in the strange, straight-backed way the other guards had done. His expression looked as though he was disgusted by the ground at his feet which was quite funny to Jarid, but he hid his amusement and kept what he hoped was a straight face.
Brazor entered the throne room and walked up to the throne before bowing just as Smolder had done when Jarid first arrived.
“I brought the human as you requested your highness.”
“I am here to answer any questions you may have your highness,” Jarid agreed in dragon as he quickly dismounted and copied Brazor’s bow.
“Thank you Brazor. You may leave now,” Queen Sear said dismissively.
Brazor cast a concerned look at Jarid and Jarid smiled to reassure him. It didn’t seem to alleviate Brazor’s concern, but he backed away with another bow.
“Very well your majesty. I will await him outside the throne room.”
Jarid kept his head down as he watched Brazor take his leave, but when the doors boomed shut, he glanced up at the Queen. She was still as bright and intimidating as ever, but now she was adorned horns to tail with gold and jewels.
Jarid quickly stifled a laugh. She looked more like a Gold Wing than a Flame Wing at this point. He wondered if she could even fly with all the necklaces, rings, and bracelets she was wearing. Her piercing gaze, however, was still as harsh as before and quickly reminded him of the seriousness of the situation.
For a while the queen simply watched Jarid intently with her blazing sapphire eyes. As if she could unlock his secrets by looking deep enough into his soul. But eventually she broke the silence with a surprising question.
“Do you truly care about my son, human?”
Jarid’s eyes widened in surprise. Of all the questions he thought she would ask this was certainly not one of them.
“Yes, I do your majesty. When I first met him, he was angry and wounded. The only dragon in captivity that refused to be broken… and the one who was suffering the most. I felt compelled to help him and, over time, earned his trust. We bonded through many hardships in that place, and I would stand beside him in battle. To the death if necessary.”
Queen Sear let out a sigh as her eyes became downcast, looking off into the distance. To Jarid, it felt as though her whole queenly persona fell away in that moment.
“Thank you human. I cannot imagine the horrors Smolder went through in that wretched place. From what he has told me, you were the only way any dragon could have escaped it. For bringing him home safely, I am in your debt,” Queen Sear stated as she elegantly bowed her head.
The silence in the throne room felt almost suffocating as Jarid fell back in shock at the humility of the Flame Wing Queen.
“P-Please, your grace, there is no need to bow your head to me,” Jarid said, bowing again himself. “I merely did what I felt was right and helped a friend return home.”
Queen Sear lifted her head and looked down at Jarid with a serene and regal expression. “As Queen of the Flame Wings, I must be an example of authority to my subjects and my children. But you are not my subject, and as a mother I feel that I must express my gratitude. Especially since I will now be asking a favor of you.”
Jarid worried for a moment since he was hoping to return to the academy soon, but Queen Sear’s next words alleviated him of that fear but provided a completely new one.
“I need you to protect Smolder from a group of dragons obsessed with prophecy. Recently they have been threatening to take him by force if I do not hand him over. There will be a delegation arriving soon and I want you to take him back to the human lands if necessary.”
“Your majesty! Are you certain you want me to bring Smolder back into the land of humans? It has been hardly a month since he returned.”
Queen Sear nodded with sober certainty. “I truly believe he will be safer there with you than here, and I cannot risk a war with the Wings of Protection. We will be needing every warrior in our tribe soon to forge a new place for us to live. I am not one to believe in prophecy, but if what they claim about my son is true, he will not be killed until that prophecy has been fulfilled. That cannot happen until he unites with the other dragonets of prophecy, and I doubt there will be many dragons in human territory.”
Jarid could hardly believe this was happening. He had thought that bringing Smolder back to the land of the Flame Wings would keep him safe, but he wasn’t going to complain about keeping Smolder for the rest of his time at the academy. Perhaps it would be safe for Smolder to come home by the time he graduated.
Jarid bowed his head once more. “Very well, your majesty. I will keep watch over Smolder until the time is right for him to return to his home.”
Queen Sear nodded. “You have my gratitude. Unfortunately, I have no time left for questions. Take with you these jewels,” she said, hooking a few bracelets and a necklace on her tail before offering them to Jarid.
“To a Flame Wing, the treasures one possesses are equivalent to their status. The treasures you offered me gained my respect. Now, I bestow the treasures of a queen onto you as a token of both my gratitude and respect. If you show them to any Flame Wing in this kingdom, they will know you have my approval and authority.”
Jarid received the treasures and marveled at the incredible gems set into the gold accessories. “I am unworthy of such a great gift. I will treasure this for the rest of my days.”
Just then a guard knocked on the door to the throne room. “The Wings of Protection are approaching the city, and their herald is demanding an audience with you, my Queen.”
Queen Sear instantly lost her relaxed composure and returned to her harsh, demeaning look.
“Yes, yes. I am sure you will, human. Prince Smolder has been told to meet us at the palace gates. I must greet our guests,” she said, loudly enough for the guard to hear. “Your escape may not be urgent if the Wings of Protection are willing to accommodate me. And when you leave, I ask that you only use that… dead animal hide if you must. Wearing it must be quite uncomfortable for a dragon. Once you have spoken to my son, meet me at the edge of the city.”
“The saddle is quite comfortable. I assure you, your highness, Smolder has told me so himself,” Jarid explained. “It also acts as additional protection from claws, and elemental magic.”
“Is that so?” Queen Sear pondered, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “Perhaps we could… Never mind. For now, we must move.”
Then she stood and walked out of the throne room with a flourish of her wings. “Brazor. You will accompany the human and deter any dragons from eating him.”
“As you wish your grace,” Brazor replied as both he and Jarid, followed. Jarid quickly stuffed the accessories into his pack as they went so they wouldn’t get lost.
Queen Sear moved quickly, even for a dragon, and Jarid could barely keep up. When they reached the entrance to the palace, they found Smolder waiting for them.
Queen Sear raised her wing to halt them. “Give me a moment with him.”
Jarid and Brazor politely waited a distance away as Smolder stiffly greeted his mother. They spoke for a few minutes, but Jarid could not hear what was said. He could only read Smolder’s expressions, but other than his eyes widening in surprise and a slight grimace, he kept up the straight face of a soldier.
She nodded and gave Smolder a brief salute before taking flight. Smolder returned the salute and held it for a while after she had left. Then he turned and watched her in the distance with his wings drooping at his sides. His tail, which had so often thrashed with energy and ferocity at the academy, now laid lifeless on the steaming ground behind him.
Jarid approached and went to comfort him, but Smolder knocked away his hand and fled into the castle. Two small whisps of steam emanating from his eyes as he went. Jarid turned to Brazor.
“Should we follow him?”
Brazor shook his head. “Let’s give him some time. For now, we will follow the queen. Her conversation with the Wings of Protection should help us determine the urgency with which you should flee.”
Jarid nodded and climbed onto Brazor’s back as he took flight. Brazor glanced over his shoulder at Jarid as they made their way to the edge of the city.
“I have worked with the Wings of Protection in the past along with the other Dragonthro. They are mostly good dragons who want the best for all tribes but there are a few fanatics among them who will do anything to ensure no tribe has too much influence on the dragonets. I hope this group is lead by a more reasonable member.”
End of chapter
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I like the idea of using different languages like a secret code.
I’m still trying to figure out what it means to be a Dragonthro since humans and dragons alike can become one. Must read further. Ohhh and now comes a spell that changes race…. Interesting! That said, I feel it very difficult to follow what kinda race the characters in the story are. I thought Mordon was a dragon @.@
Wait a second, isn’t Jarid currently on Brazor? Then how can he see his face?
Oh never mind, they became dragons through the ritual, now I got it!
I find myself really feeling for Mordon. He wanted to become a dragon so bad and not only did he destroy a beautiful city, he neither got his wish nor any help. While his friends are at least banished together, he’s all alone and that on top of being all hollowed out
Jariiiid maybe you should not wish to become a dragon after a story like that! ò.ó Especially since you already DREAM of being one. Think abt what that could mean!!
Oh I like what I learn about Jarid tho, that he helped a captured dragon. I approve!
What I don’t understand is why the queen would want her son to go back to the humans. Yes, the dragons are threatening him but I just learnt that it’s not much better over there! It feels like you could have explained a little more abt why these prophecy obsessed dragons are so dangerous. Like, right now, maybe even in an internal monologue of the MC. It feels all a bit too rushed.
I really like how you describe how mother and son talk. It speaks of a distance between them and it’s just well done.
I’m a bit confused. From the speech of the queen, I felt like more urgency is necessary. That yes even if the wings of protection do want to talk to the queen first, it’s certainly obvious why they are here. And that they shouldn’t lose any time in getting away?
Thanks for mentioning that part about facial expressions while Jarid is on Brazor's back.
To explain briefly, Brazor and Jarid are humans born with a special condition that allows them too much magic for their bodies to handle (a deadly disease which Jarid saught him out to fix).
Brazor said that you need to have dragon blood grafted into your own to cure it and Jarid (by chance) already had that happen during a fight between dragons he witnessed (this is in the prologue of Shadow's Rising Wing 1).
Through the spell that went out of control, Brazor gained the ability to become a dragon himself and that's how Jarid is riding him.
As for your confusion at the end about the urgency,
They don't know if the Wings of Protection are going to attack or simply ask for Smolder to come with them. Ultimately, it will be up to Smolder to decide whether to stay with the Flame Wings, go with the Wings of Protection, or flee to human territory.
Ah got it. Maybe there's a way to make the three choices Smolder can make even more clear?
I made it clear in the next chapter, but wanted to keep tension high in this one.
Thanks for the advice though.
Hello Again, My Friend!
It’s me, Raven, and I’m here to review the next chapter in this great story, using my Familiar method! Let’s dive right in, shall we?
~ A full analysis and breakdown
WOW!! I was absolutely engulfed by that story of Magic City and Mordon's fate. Following up with a surprising change of mood from Sear and something I was super excited to see—a look into this dragonet prophecy and the Wings of Protection from an alternate lens! Let's get into the details though.
Plot and Pacing: Great! Even though that story is a lot of dialogue at once, the way it's broken up makes it easier to follow, and the language used adds a bit of a dynamic feel. It read more like a flashback than one long chunk of text.
Descriptions and Setting: Incredible! The way Brazor describes the city, the festival, the magic going out of control. Even their emotions after such devastation! The man is one heck of a storyteller (lol!). I also particularly enjoyed the appearance of Sear in this chapter, decked out in jewels.
Characterization: More than anything in this chapter, when it comes to Jarid, I was interested in him learning about the prophecy and the Wings of Protection. I'm so curious if and when he'll start making connections!
The way Brazor told that story, and the tone he had when getting to the worst of it...Man. That guilt and sadness really came through.
As for Sear, woah!! A total turnaround! The way she spoke about Smolder here, and Jarid's friendship with him, makes me wonder what the heck happened here in the time Jarid was in the temple. One thing for sure, I think it gave us a bit of insight into why Sear wasn't cooperating with the dragonets' guardians...
Finally, Smolder. Though we only saw him briefly, he definitely didn't seem to be in a good state. I wonder why...
Grammar and Wording: I only caught a couple of minor things, which I dropped below in the next section. Otherwise, looks great!
~ Some nitpicks and little recommendations
Not much to put here at all! Let’s break it down…
I feel as though the comma between "futures" and "they" was a bit unnecessary.
I think "and" was supposed to be "an" here. That aside, WOAH! Crystallized dragon heart sounds gnarly!
That’s all! Great writing job ~
~ My reactions, theories, and favorite parts
Alright, one theory I had going was when I was reading Sear's request for Jarid to take Smolder back to human territory. Considering her thoughts on the prophecy, the pressing need to establish new territory, and fearing a conflict with the Wings of Protection...Could it be that the reason Sear didn't show concern for Smolder's absence, and seemed so bitter upon his arrival...had to do not with Smolder himself, but concern for his protection?? And by extension, possibly even the protection of the territory, to a degree?? Ooo... (00 )
As for reactions and what stood out...
Oh, this intrigued me! What happened that required them to be saved? Were they simply isolated for having magic, or something else...
I LOVED this staging for the spell! With the festival and all the people, it really amped up the moment—and the tension! Especially since those people weren't mentioned again in the story...
AH, the visualizations are so cool!!! Devastating!!!
Loved the emotion! Including from Mordon! For someone with such villainous vibes, the touch of humanity was very nice to see, and really fit the story of Magic City. I'm only growing more curious about this character...
Aw! And again, unexpected! It was really cool to be able to see Sear in a different light, this chapter.
Again, loved hearing about the prophecy from another perspective. From Shear, it was spoken with a tone of hope and importance that didn't make it seem all that malicious. From Sear, on the other hand, it sounds like there's risk involved. Including the risk of death?! Thaaat could be a wrench in plans.
Also, funny she mentions hiding out from the dragonets of prophecy...in human territory... (00 )
Herald? Wings of Protection? Someone we know? Someone we don't? Ooo, this I am curious about...
Aw! After all that time without Smolder, what a sad way to find him...
MadThoughts...Overall, that was an incredible chapter with so much rich lore, in so many ways! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
So glad you enjoyed!
As to your question about why the dragonthro needed to be saved, it was the same reason Jarid sought out Brazor to begin with.
All the dragonthro are dragon born who received dragon blood to prevent their mana from going out of control and destroying them. For all the dragon born before Jarid, this procedure was carried out by the Magic Academy.