We are all equal. For we live under the same sky.

by deleted5

Published June 19, 2014

In 3) Poetry

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Authors Note: We are all equal.

-

We are all equal,

For we live under the same sky.

We share the same rich dirt,

And fields of colour which our children play in.

-

We are all equal,

For we live under the same sky.

We share the same needs,

Love, food, drink and happiness.

-

We are all equal,

For we live under the same sky.

We share the same dreams and desires,

And the will to make the stars come true.

-

We are all equal,

Some need to remember this.

That we are all human.

That we are all equal.

For we live under the same sky.

Comments & reviews · 5
ScarletDreams14 wrote a review Review · Jun 29, 2014

Hello! Scarlet here to review!

I smiled reading this, I believe in equal rights strongly amongst the people.

I agree, it shouldn't matter what skin color you are, race, gender, religion, age, anything.

We should all be equal and taking away the rights of someone just because they're different is wrong and unfair. I like the message given in this. People like you need to be on this planet to remind us all that.

So Thank You for writing this it has meaning and that is important.

Thumbs Up!
Image

Sincerely, ScarletDreams14; Member of Salsa Verde


Writer, Artist, Student and Reader

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Unique
Review
Unique wrote a review Review · Jun 29, 2014

I am exactly sure that this is a review, it is more of a discussion topic... Hm...

Anyway, I really like this because I feel like all the words in here have a meaning. I really love it... It is true! Here is a little quote to feed your brain, "Why do people hate certain people. The victim of the hatred is 'a person' and so is the person that is hating. They are technically hating on themselves. Seriously think about it."

Sorry that was a BAD quote...

Anyways, i really like the poem, it was quite creative.

~Uni

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imene Review
imene wrote a review Review · Jun 20, 2014

nice try .I feel that most of humans forgot that we are all equal and I guess this poem remind us that no one is better than the other, we are all the same no matter where we came from or how we look because we are sharing the same planet under the same sky

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Renard
Review
Renard wrote a review Review · Jun 19, 2014

Hello.
I agree with the message in this poem 100%.
So that's gooood.
However, the way you have presented it is very touchy feely.
Whilst it is an original presentation I suppose, I feel that there is a lot more you could have done with it. Different opportunities.

We are all equal,

For we live under the same sky.

We share the same needs,

Love, food, drink and happiness.


The repetition of this allegory towards the sky starts become a bit tiresome by the time you have finished reading the poem and it feels like you have gone into this with just the single idea in mind. I'm not saying it isn't well thought out, I am just saying that there is a lot more potential for this piece and a variety of different things you could have done with it.

Keep writing.

~BSF

Thanks for the review! I agree bit I can't put my finger on what needs to be changed.

Renard replied · Jun 20, 2014

Me neither. Maybe leave it as it is, or wait for someone else to point it out. :)

I agree with you both, especially BLS

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Sonder
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Sonder wrote a review Review · Jun 19, 2014

Hey Alex! Griff here for a short review!

First off, I liked the message calling for peace and acceptance, even though I may not completely agree with it all. I found the author's note quite redundant, considering you say the phrase "We are all equal" five times during the actually poem. I know you are making a point, and it is frankly a great point, but I felt that this poem needed more meat to it, because it was very repetitive. I loved the second halves of the stanzas, in which different words were used to describe equality. By the end I was kind of done with the "We are human, we are equal" over and over. However, I absolutely loved,

We share the same dreams and desires,

And the will to make the stars come true.

Very poetic. This poem has a great theme and message, but I felt it could have been improved. Either less repetition, or more descriptive, longer stanzas. That's my opinion, take it or leave it, but this is still a pleasant poem that leaves a calm feeling in the reader afterwards. Nice job!

Keep writing and being amazing!

~GC

Thanks for the review! That little quote bit made me smile! :D
Repetition although repetitive (;)) I think is necessary. Won't be changing I don't think.

Sonder replied · Jun 19, 2014

No problem! Totally the author's choice. It left a nice feeling. :)



I like to create sympathy for my characters, then set the monsters loose.
— Stephen King