Maybe

by crissymarx

Published December 8, 2014

E - Everyone

In Poetry

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Maybe I don’t have the looks

Or the care

To show that I’m worth the trouble

So here I am in the rubble.

Maybe you’re too good for me

Just maybe

It could be true

But quite possibly

I’m too good for you.

Maybe you should be hurt

You should be suffering

Yet it is I

Who is doing the flailing:

My arms to both sides

Looking for someone

Something

To hold onto.

Maybe I am fatigued

Maybe you were right

Either which way,

It wasn’t worth the fight.


Comments & reviews · 5
dannibooklover92 wrote a review Review · Dec 14, 2014

I like it ! It kind of makes me want more, I was kind of disappointed that it ended so soon.
As I think about it, there are a bunch of maybe's or what if's in life. Sometimes, we just have to take a leap of faith. Or a good look in the mirror and tell yourself."I'm handsome, if your a guy. Or I'm beautiful, if your a women. God says in his word that he made all of us beautiful in his time and image. So, anytime you think your not worth it or need confidence. Take a goodluck in that mirror and see what amazing person you are and tell yourself, I'm worth it!

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ryleigh127
Review
ryleigh127 wrote a review Review · Dec 9, 2014

This poem really plays with emotions. I like how it uses normal words to describe an intense feeling, and telling a story. I would keep writing like this if I were you, your good at it. The story is really descriptive, yet not. It let's you create your own version of the story each time you read it.

But also, it would be easier to read if your lengthened the lines a bit. Just so there not so short and choppy. Bigger words could really enhance the poem to. Great work!

Thank you!

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Eldritch
Review
Eldritch wrote a review Review · Dec 9, 2014

Hello! Hey, Hi, what's up? Ah, i just read a poem you know. name's "Maybe" and this is really nicely written. you should read it too! well, jokes apart.

Your poem's really good you know. One can sense the feeling ( probably slightly, but can) you're going through that time.
The way you repeated words are really good. using of punctuations are also fine.

I didn't notice any errors.

"Maybe you’re too good for me

Just maybe

It could be true

But quite possibly

I’m too good for you."

Love those lines ^^

Overall wonderful work! Keep it up!:)

Best of luck, here, make a grin! ^_^

~Min.

Oh no did I use the same title as you?! Im sorry. But thank you for the review!

No no, nothing like that! I was just joking ;)
I'm sorry, am always this funny!

Oh ok thank goodness! Hahaha then you have a good sense of humor. Thanks again!

Hi hi. .. ^_^

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FancyDragon
Review
FancyDragon wrote a review Review · Dec 9, 2014

Dragon here Fancy took a break today.

Your poem was lovely. you can feel, hear, and imagine the pain and the situation you are writing in. I do think if you may have given a few examples it may evoke a bit more emotion from the reader. I also liked how you had a bit of a rhyming thing going on but at the same time you did not it flowed well over all.
A few lines i liked.
Maybe I don’t have the looks

Or the care

To show that I’m worth the trouble

So here I am in the rubble.

these lines are so relatable we have all felt waled over like that.
All in all great job its well written!!!

Thank you so much!

very welcome any time xD

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TiffanyToy
Review
TiffanyToy wrote a review Review · Dec 9, 2014

Heyy! Here to reviewww!!

So, let's begin. I saw the summary type part of the poem. It dragged me in to reading more! I am glad I did, too!!

Wow! The title really does go with the poem! I love the way you made it all fit together!!

Let me just say, I love your repetition and the format of this poem. It was constant and it definitely flows.

Also, I love the metaphors in this!

There are no grammatical or spelling errors here...great job!!

I just wanted to say, thought, that, this poem is particularly excellent because of the fact that it is short and sweet. Also, that it has LIFE and RHYTHM. I can sense the pain/misery/anguish/curiosity. If this were a song, it would be perfect. This is a great poem because it could be set to music to make a lovely song.

Great job!!

Keep writing!!,
~Tiff

awww thank you so much this made my day!



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