12+ Violence

The many winding paths of Grasscove, USA: Part Three

*This story is underneath my folder titled “Grasscove, USA”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=116005&start=1035. Enjoy!*

I turn around to face the voice that sounds like somebody around my age, but also not, because the southern accent gives it a bit of an…older sound and I see…

There’s a sixteen year old boy standing crouched on the ride cart behind us, smiling at us with shiny white teeth, two of his front teeth terrifyingly sharpened, like knives or something. He has dark-light brown skin, like a maple leaf, but his deep brown eyes have a hint of red in them. I mean, I can’t tell because the lights are so dim, but I think there is red in them.

“Well, what are ya doin’ staring at me like that?” Emery asks, still smiling at us. Although I can’t tell if he’s just asking or if he’s subtly mad, as it is too dark in here and-

I’m holding onto Lilliana, my nails gripping onto her back tightly because this dark ride that was supposed to be peaceful made a sudden drop and these seatbelts do not feel like they’re tight enough. I think we’re flying out of our seats-we’re flying out of our seats?! We’re FLYING?!

“Stop screaming, Liz. It’s going to be okay.” Lilliana says with a grin.

We’re both flying off our seats, flying to the ceiling and right behind us, so is Emery, his black curly hair swirling around his face, which looks perfectly fine, no bruises or wounds to be spotted, as if he never died at all. He’s wearing a tan rancher hat, a sapphire blue long sleeve shirt, jeans, and white scarf tied neatly around his neck, a scarf that has red spots on it. They’re blood spots.

We’re holding onto the ceiling of the ride, dangling above the tracks. My heart is still racing in my chest, but at least we’re above ground.

“What…what was that?! Why did the ride just do that?! And Emery, you don’t…you don’t look-“

“Don’t look dead? I am dead, but just like how Lilliana is. I’m a vampire. No, I don’t remember how I became a vampire. I just woke up and turned into one. But me and Lilliana meet and hunt together, so that’s nice…kinda.” Emery sighs, looking down like he’s not entirely happy, like he misses something or someone…Katherine?

“So both of you are vampires, but neither of you know why or how you are vampires and you just go around biting people? What…what now? Are there more monsters? What am I supposed to do with this information? What-“

“What do you mean?! Is that what you want to say your girlfriend who has been trying to find whatever made her into a vampire? Emery and I aren’t just hunting together. We’re trying to find the truth. We’re looking for who or what made us vampires, the ghost of Katherine and the reason this town has so many ghost stories. I wanted you to be apart of it, but if you want to go home…”

Lilliana looks down, a defeated look in her eyes. This is all still a lot to take in, but I don’t want her to feel like I’m not on board with her, like I’ve abandoned her, so I say:

“I’m sorry that I don’t understand. It’s not understanding that matters, but staying no matter what. Whatever this is, we’ll get through this together.”

She gives a small smile. I don’t think that she’s entirely convinced, but that’s the best I can do. I feel like my brain is melting from dangling so high above the ground that I have to wonder, how long are we going to be hanging like this? We’re not upside down, but I don’t want to be staring at the ground any longer, so I look up at the ceiling instead.

It looks like a real cave, with jagged grooves and stalactites. All three of us are holding onto stalactites, I can’t really see anything except for this neon green light above us, a light that looks gelatinous, like it is pulsating with poison…what is that thing?

“Hey, uh…I’ve never seen that thing before. Come on, gals, let’s grab it!” Emery shouts, letting go of the stalactite and jumping scarily fast, towards the green-light-goo thing.

He disappears within it, so fast that I can hardly believe it happened. Are we supposed to just jump in it? Are-

I feel Lilliana’s hand curl around my wrist, her nails digging into my skin so much that I cry out and she jumps right into the green thing, still holding onto me.

Can I get a chance to breathe?

………………………………………………………………..

I remember when I first met Lilliana, like REALLY met her. We had the same classes together and were kind of sort of friends, but we weren’t all that close. That changed in fifth grade, when our school went to The Harkins Hotel as a field trip. It’s this old hotel from the 1800s where a few people died. I don’t know why our school went there. I think it was for educational purposes, but me and the other kids didn’t really care about that. We all knew it was haunted.

Anyway, because I was so interested in finding a ghost myself, I left our group in the hallway and walked down the hotel, searching for anything spooky. I wasn’t sure what I was going to find, but I wanted to keep looking.

“Ghosts? Hello? Anyone?” I asked. I think I asked that, I don’t remember. I walked down stairs and hallways for what felt like hours, my boots making loud noises against the wooden floor and then, I saw her.

Lilliana, her dark blonde hair in two braids, wearing a pink and black plaid dress, white capri pants and light up green sneakers that absolutely did not match with her outfit. She was storming her way towards me, her braids flying behind her, her mouth sent into a scowl and her gray-blue eyes sparked with irritation.

“Elizabeth, what are you doing?! You’re not supposed to be up here! You’ll get in so much trouble!” Lilliana whisper-yelled. She grabbed my wrist, but I pulled away.

“Leave me alone. I’m trying to find ghosts.” I said. I remember I was starting to get annoyed with her that she somehow found me, in a hallway that had dark green velvet walls, the only furniture being a dark brown desk and a single pale pink lamp.

At those words, Lilliana shook her head and rolled her eyes like I was a lost cause or something. I’ve been mad at her a few times, but at that moment, I really, really wanted to punch her in the face. How could she act that way when she never even saw ghosts before?

“Ghosts?! You’re ten years old and you still believe in ghosts? Elizabeth,” Lilliana inhaled sharply, “Ghosts aren’t real. So just come with me before we both get in trouble.”

I was mad at her, but not mad enough. The more I looked at her, the more I thought of how pretty she was, of how nice her eyes were. I had these lingering thoughts over the years of how nice she looked, but it seemed stronger than ever before and along with my anger, I felt a little sad. I didn’t want us to fight. I didn’t want her to be mad at me.

But she wasn’t listening and I felt like she needed to. I wanted to get my side across, to feel understood.

“How do you know that? There could be a ghost watching us right now and they’d be too scared to come out because YOU’RE here! Go away so that I can find a ghost.” I said.

I was going to walk away, but she grabbed my wrist AGAIN and said:

“I’m not going away. You need to come with me right now before-“

I don’t know how long we would have been up there if it hadn’t been for that small, barely there voice that feebly asked us to stop fighting. It sounded like a little girl, but we were the only ones in the hallway. Nobody else was with us.

“Did you hear that? That was a ghost!” I cried out. I couldn’t believe that a voice had spoken up, that there was a ghost with us and while I was happy that a real ghost spoke, I also felt a wave of terror that I did not want to show her, because I had never once heard a ghost speak before.

“That wasn’t a ghost. It’s just the hotel. It’s old.” Lilliana said with a look of discomfort.

Her hand slid down to mine and then, the both of us were running, her leading the way just like she always has, as furious and pretty as ever.

………………………………………………………………..

When we step out of the green gunk, we’re standing in the same hallway where Lilliana and I heard that voice all those years ago. We’re…we’re in the Harkins hotel.

I turn towards Lilliana, whose eyes are wide with recognition. I look at Emery, standing still in shock, then taking a step forward, turning around, taking in his surroundings.

“My sister, she…this was where she died. We…we were staying here…she…” Emery swallows hard, tears in his dark red eyes. Yes, they are definitely red, with long, black snake pupils. There’s a soft pink glow from the lamp on the desk, it’s better lighting than the train dark ride we were on.

“Your sister?” I ask. I never heard of Emery having a sister before, but there are probably a lot of things I haven’t heard about him.

He nods slowly, one hand rubbing the back of his neck as if to soothe himself.

“I don’t know why we’re here, but I’m gonna try to find her. She needs me.” Emery says.

“Ophelia!” Emery calls out, turning around and walking away from us.

Lilliana looks back at me with a flicker of fear before grabbing my hand and chasing after him, her dark blonde hair flying behind her just like it did years ago.

It feels like we’re home and yet, it does not.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Tikaya
Review
Tikaya wrote a review · Sat Feb 14, 2026 9:21 pm

Heyo! I remember that I quite liked CH1 one of this :3 I’m still here for Violet Victory!


What exactly do you mean by “dark-light brown” isn’t that an oxymoron?

Oh right, I remember! The rollercoaster!
I find the description of what exactly is happening a bit lackluster tho. I dunno how exactly the seatbelts are suddenly no longer tight enough anymore. It feels like you could have gone with less comment from our MC and more actual descriptions ^^

Ah, finding out the truth abt how one turned into a vampire is a running theme in your stories.

Hm this is one of the stories where I find that you use italics too much to denote emphasis. It becomes distracting.

I like how you describe Lilliana in the flashback, especially the unfitting shoes :3

…and of course, I stumble out of the story because of the dialogue formatting once again just after the nice descriptions got me invested.

But d’aww they both got spooked by what arguably sounds like a really kind ghost XD

Hmmm now I wonder if Ophelia maybe has been that ghost that wanted our girls to stop fighting in the flashback!

Image

%u201CDark light brown%u201D as in his skin is both dark and light, but I get where you might not get that.

Thanks for reading!

User avatar
AlexWrites
Review

Hey, creeperfeverdreams! This is Alex again, here to review the latest chapter of Grasscove. Let's get rolling.

like knives or something


After the last harsh review, I realise the need to also appreciate the bits you get right. This instance is one of them. I believe that after Taliyah, Elizabeth might just be the best character you've made. She's so incredibly relatable. Everything about her screams realistic. Her narration is top notch, making the reader engrossed in what she's got to say. Unlike Taliyah though, she isn't all that likeable. Elizabeth is complex in all her right, a truly layered protagonist. Her relationship with Lilliana struggles due to her lack of care to the later. She speaks behind her own partner's back and doesn't so much as genuinely lend a ear when she talks about something she's really passionate about. She isn't the best communicating and comforting person either. Her opinions are often troublesome and targeting as well. All this makes her a deeply flawed person, but at the same time, terribly human. The reader doesn't like her wholly, because they see and relate to bits of themselves they don't really like. Elizabeth is a bitter reflection of humans, a truth you can't deny. The effort and thought you've put behind making her, I can't commend you enough.

I can’t tell because the lights are so dim, but I think there is red in them.


She's so very honest, guessing things even when she's not sure. Yet she states her doubts clearly. I feel it's such a subtle testimony to her mortality.

I think we’re flying out of our seats-we’re flying out of our seats?! We’re FLYING?!


Her reactions are so flowy and developing, adapting as the situation changes. They mimic human thinking really well.

“So both of you are vampires, but neither of you know why or how you are vampires and you just go around biting people? What…what now? Are there more monsters? What am I supposed to do with this information? What-“


I've been saying that all along! Finally someone is asking the real questions now. Your biggest plot hole- you've owned it so naturally that I'm not longer sure that this isn't an intentional part of much bigger revelation. What if you've been playing me all along?

“What do you mean?! Is that what you want to say your girlfriend who has been trying to find whatever made her into a vampire? Emery and I aren’t just hunting together. We’re trying to find the truth


Ok I love how Lilliana doesn't let disrespect to her just slide away. She calls out even her girlfriend's wrong behaviour without hesitation. I feel that's the way this couple is so different. Elizabeth in a bad way while Lilliana in a good light. Elizabeth isn't your caring partner who considers the other's feelings that much while Lilliana is not the victim in their relationship who tolerates demeaning comments. Every Elizabeth needs a Lilliana. Our protagonist needs to be reined in and her lover makes sure of it.

“I’m sorry that I don’t understand. It’s not understanding that matters, but staying no matter what. Whatever this is, we’ll get through this together.”


THIS!!! What I've been wanting from the get go- an actual apology. I hope you understand my earlier comments now and I apologise I wasn't patient enough to read things through before commenting about it so rudely. This scene might've come a little later than I pictured, but it still manages to make a great deal of impact. Love the character development and heart to heart!

I think I asked that, I don’t remember


This girl is so freaking *unrefined* lol.

I was so interested in finding a ghost myself


Hmm.. this part is tricky again. The teenage Elizabeth is cautious of ghosts, meaning she very much believes in them or at least suspects and is not brave enough to conclude otherwise. But it seems the same cannot be said for her as a child. I'm not sure if this is justified for her character but it makes sense that she'd be more adventurous as a kid. It's still pretty questionable if she'd seek a ghost out, considering how clear she steers from them now.

“Ghosts?! You’re ten years old and you still believe in ghosts? Elizabeth,” Lilliana inhaled sharply, “Ghosts aren’t real. So just come with me before we both get in trouble.”


Well at least Lilliana was pretty much the same. Predictable for her character, not necessarily a bad thing always.

I still have bittersweet feelings for the Emery bit. The fact that they land in this backstory next seemed a little uncalled for. The plot feels really whimsy right now with all these events. I won't be too quick to judge though, as I have no clue where you're headed with this.

It feels like we’re home and yet, it does not.


This actually reminded me of the theory that home is sometimes a person, rather than a place. Is it a similar reference here? So very poetic. All this conversation between the couple has brought them closer than ever, yet Elizabeth realises they still have a long way to go. You've captured it so beautifully.

Overall, a wonderful chapter. You've rectified most of the errors I pointed out and tapped into the potential I suggested. All this was written prior to my feedback too so I must admit the fault being of my own impatience. You've picked up a main plot and carry their relationship improvement in the side. That's a fine way to keep things going. I'm still skeptical of the major plot revolving around Emery but I'll bite my tongue until I get a better view of what you're planning to head with this. Keep improving like this and we might just have your best work up until now.

Reviewing this has been a pleasure, happy writing.

Love, Alex

Thx for your review! I do not blame you for your initial review, though. You see, this particular series of mine is a little different from the other stuff I have written and it is harder for me to write. But! I will take your suggestions into account and work on what I want for these characters.

I'm happy to see you taking my advice to heart. It's good that you're branching out, of course that's going to be challenging at first.



"It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be."
— Albus Dumbledore