*This story is underneath my folder titled “A monster creeps along”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy and Happy Halloween season!!!*
Markus held onto his older sister Mia’s hand as they walked down the trails of carefully carved Jack-o-lanterns, following close behind Mom and Dad. Halloween fascinated them both with magic and mayhem that came from the themes of the holiday, but Markus didn’t want to become quite lost in the crowds of people.
“Look at that! It’s an angel! Isn’t it pretty?” Mia asked, pointing at a pumpkin structure.
She stopped, letting Markus take it in.
There was a structure of an angel that towered over the other pumpkin art, that was a tall as the trees. She was reaching her hands out to the pink-dusted evening autumn sky, as though she was going to embrace the universe. How could people spend so much time and precision on ordinary pumpkins? How could they make art of the mundane?
Both of them were fascinated, and maybe it was ridiculous, but the angel’s pumpkin face looked kind enough to accept a hug.
“It is.” Markus said, even the angel looked too detailed to be called an it. Every year, the artists never failed to bring life to something that would rot into brown once it was out of season.
“Come on kids! We have to go!” Dad called out.
They scrambled over to their parents, leaving behind the angel and her beauty.
There was so much more to see, and they’d have plenty of time to see everything. After all, they were only kids.
It wasn’t like anything absolutely terrible would happen to them. That only happened in the movies…
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Alright, I am here for more adorable sibling action before things go wrong!
Aww I enjoyed the descriptions in this one a lot. I also really like that it’s just a cute moment that shows the siblings’ connection to Halloween in an innocent way.
TECHNICALLY, nothing terrible is happening to them when they are children right???
I must do it, I cannot stop myself:
A comma, there we go.
I like this story; it’s pure fluff despite the reminder that everything will turn out horrible :3
"There was so much more to see, and they’d have plenty of time to see everything. After all, they were only kids." This line speaks alot to me as it seems to speak not only of the halloween decor but life as a whole, highlighting the fact that as we grow older, we see and know more and hence have less time to see what's left.
I love the presence of M's everywhere in this. The alliteration is great though I think due to its short nature, this piece lacks other stylistic devices that would make it better.
What touches me most as an artist is the beauty of the pumkin angel and the question _" How could people spend so much time and precision on ordinary pumpkins? " _ alot of people -even adults- question art alot without knowing that only the artist can truely see the life in their work.
So, keep it up! (if I'm allowed to say that).
Thanks for the review!
Firstly, I love your writing style, it's so descriptive! Anyways, this short little bit perfectly describes children at a pumpkin patch, and I love it. It's nice how you describe the angel, too, and I can definitely tell that she might turn out to be important later. The anticipation is cool, too, I definitely want more of this story. Good job!
Thanks! There is more under the folder I mentioned in this story. :}