Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
*This fanfic is under my folder titled “Are you afraid of the dark? (Season 1 2019 fanfics)”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=116005&start=1110. This is about the antagonist of the first season, I gave him a bigger origin story. Marcus and Bart are from the actual show, this is just my interpretation of them. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!*
Marcus watched as Bart worked on the windmill, cleaning the windmill blades. The Walsh family had a windmill of their own, a windmill. It was the only house he saw that had one and since Bart was older, Bart was the one who had to clean it.
Marcus liked to watch Bart while he cut the grass. He wanted to go high, just like Bart. He wanted to touch the sky, to-
Bart’s right arm slipped through the blades, it…it was sliced off?
Bart screamed, blood pooling from his severed arm.
Bart crawled down the ladder, the blood seeping, still screaming.
Marcus stood up, holding the shears, mouth gaped in horror, paralyzed.
Bart couldn’t die…he…he couldn’t die…he couldn’t…he…was Bart…he survived…he always survived.
Please don’t die, Bart. Marcus thought.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
@Spearmint I think you’ll want to read this!
Scorpions, scorpions
Go and play, Marcus
The death of Marjorie Cochran
The death of Benjamin Cochran
The choice
We’ve got to go to the city!
Unfortunately, in order for something good to happen, you must work abysmally hard for it
Servitude
Waiting is not fun, but good things come to those who wait…right??
Christmas at the Walsh family mansion
awesome, i'll check them out sometime this week or next weekend!
Okay!
Stopping by for another quick review!
I'm in agreement with Tika that that's a lot of "windmill" uses in the first paragraph, haha. It seems intentional, though? Maybe it's to demonstrate just how awed Marcus is about the Walshes owning their very own windmill? If that's the case, I'm not sure if it lands super clearly!
I'd like to see the scene established here more. We know Marcus is cutting the grass and Bart is cleaning the windmill blades. That's a great start, but I need more details! For example, I was imagining that Marcus was using a modern lawnmower, so I was disoriented when it described him later holding shears. I'm also not sure what cleaning a windmill looks like. I learn from later context that he's up on a ladder, but beyond that, what is he using to clean the blades? How fast are the blades moving? Do they glimmer in the sunlight like knives? All in all, I'm having a hard time picturing how the accident happened since I really don't have a good picture in my head of what the windmill looks like or how he's cleaning its blades.
I love how mild the title of this story is compared to the actual horrific event that it entails.
Nicely done, creeper!
Wolfi
And the final one in this folder :3 For Violet Victory!
Ah we are leaving the christmassy stories behind now XD
…okay I feel like you repeat the word “windmill” a bit too often for the first two sentences :/
Uhm why did we start on the windmills when it is actually about… cutting grass? Is he using the windmill blades to do so? And if it is abt the cutting stuff, why not start establishing the ACTUAL activity, and then Marcus daydreams abt the windmill which they could instead be doing and then he gets pulled back to the present bc the cutting off of the arm happened! Shock! Horror!
And there are so few descriptions, I am kinda lost on how this could have even happened o.o
Oh and I finally get my confusion. Bart cuts grass while Bart deals with the windmill.
Uhm… do we really have to clean the windmill blades tho? I think I kinda lost myself in this confusion XD
Oh right, bad stuff happening. I kinda imagine this like being hit with the rotor blades of a helicopter. This ain’t pretty. Still it feels like this story is super incomplete with no real resolution.