I keep reaching for them

Hi coehl. I really felt all of the pain that you unleashed through this poem (I hope this isn't a true story ^^). This was really moving, and I understood fully what was going on. I only felt the need to point that out because many poets have an excellent vocabulary, and tend to overuse the big-word effect. I'm proud to be able to say that you did nothing of the sort! You had a way of articulating the lines in a way that allowed me and all the other readers to really receive the emotions through almost every sense (I didn't taste your poem), and there were no real grammatical errors that hindered the flow of your poem. There's nothing else that I really wanted to say, I guess, I just wanted to tell you that you did a really nice job with the technicalities of your poem. I also really liked the ending, in a sad sort of way. I did sort of predict it while reading it, but that's alright. The way you wrote it still surprised me. It was so raw, and deep, I could almost picture them digging their nails into the concrete, then having the ground rushing to meet them, to be the last thing that will ever meet them, without them remembering making a conscious decision. Anyway, great job, keep writing!

~Caterpickle

Ello, caliginous here.

This poem is beautiful, yet tragic. I love it. Anyway, I have a few suggestions...

From the start, I am somewhat confused. Who's falling? One person or more than one? You refer to them as, well, "them". In order to make this easier to understand, refer to them as "she" or "he". If it's supposed to be more than one person, consider changing it to one. My first impression is that it's only one person, but then along come the lines, "My eyes fixate on their bodies below" and "Their descent forms their bodies into a black speck in my head". Is this a typo? Or is it actually supposed to be more than one person? Most of the lines refer to them as one person, so it's most likely a typo, but please try to make this clearer.

"I see their wide eyes, open mouth, and tear-filled eyes"
You mention their eyes twice in one line. Consider editing it to say, "I see their wide, tear-filled eyes and their open mouth".

"And I can’t do nothin bout it."
Double negative. DOUBLE NEGATIVE. That's a big no-no. And "bout". This whole line just doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the poem. It's all so serious, but this line is...not. "And I can't do anything about it." This would fit better.

"I take two steps to the place before they fell"
This doesn't make much sense. "I take two steps and reach the place they were before they fell" would be easier to understand.

"It’s like I can never stop believing"
Does this line mean you can't stop thinking about their fall? It's somewhat confusing, so here are two suggestions:
"It's like I can't tear my eyes away from their descent" (and get rid of the next line) or "It's like I just can't stop turning it over in my head" (and change the next line to simply, "They have fallen").

"Maybe it’s because it’s for nobodies"
Not quite sure what you're getting at here. Try to explain this line or maybe word it differently.

"Instead, it’s all on me."
Instead of...what?

"My eyes sting horribly, the tears I unleash fall all the way down / It stings"
The word "sting" is used twice within these two lines. Use a different word in the second line, something like "it burns" or just simply, "it hurts".

"Shove my nails onto the edge of the cliff"
I understand what you're getting at here because of the lines following this one, but this line makes very little sense. This line either needs a lot of editing or you could change it. An example of what you could change it to is: "Curl my toes over the edge of the cliff"

Throughout this review, I made some suggestions for edited lines. I said "they" in them when referring to the other person, only because i do not know if the other person is a he or a she. As I said earlier, using "he" or "she" instead of "they" would make the poem easier to understand. Just a suggestion though.

There are some punctuation errors, but that can be fixed with some quick edits.

As Tay01 mentioned, perhaps you should consider breaking this up into stanzas. I personally don't mind the lack of stanzas, I think it's fine the way it is, but that's just me.

Please remember, I am only trying to help! If you disagree with what I am saying, then ignore me. Don't take anything personal, and you definitely do not have to take my suggestions for the lines. This is your poem, do with it what you will, change what you want. Overall, I really do believe this poem is amazing!

~caliginous

Alright, alright. I must be missing something here. The title does not really match the description. Nor did the description really match the story. If it did, then there is a mistake here.

Poems are suppose to be fun while reading. To express everything in there. To make everyone clear about what you think. Poems are like songs. You do not finish and everyone is like "So what was it about?"

Nextly, stanzas. Stanzas are like paragraphs when you are writing a poem. They make it easy to read and help point out when you change your points. Take stanzas like a full stop.

If I say, "Hello my name is Tay01 I am here to review your poem is great but I think I can help improve it you must add stanzas"

versus

"Hello my name is Tay01. I am here to review. Your poem is great but I think I can help improve it. You must add stanzas."

There is a difference. Making things easier to read may make a person want to read more.

Lastly, meanings.

"I see their wide eyes, open mouth, and tear-filled eyes

And I can’t do nothin bout it."

That's a sentence I find very difficult to understand. Also,

"But they fall"

Who? You must have an easier start to understand.

Hope I helped. I did not really review about your poem, but once you have improvised it, I will review it again, explaining what I think about each line. Have a great day.