Set Adrift (Part 8)

Ed arrived back at Quaz's house, laden with supplies and a little money, to find mountains of junk piled everywhere. Upon closer inspection, the mountains were made up of the vast majority of the interior of the Condor. Quaz and he navigated the Flying Mule, the name they had given to Ed's land rover, through the towering piles of refuse. Every so often, a small piece of garbage that Dave had very unceremoniously removed from the Condor would topple off the top of a pile and clink against the ground, the Flying Mule, or Ed and Quaz. The piles were eerie, and this effect was heightened when the Flying Mule came across a group of strangers.

They were dressed in bright, flowing garbs of red, purple, and yellow. Tassels abounded their clothes and golden bangles and necklaces clinked noisily whenever they moved. Their faces were elongated and covered in hair, resembling a sort of furry Chinese dragon. Two long, fleshy "moustache hairs" hung down from the edges of the men's snouts. There were seven of them, milling about a large tent. Some were tending a cook fire, others were mending articles of clothing. Ed slowed the Mule to a halt as they neared and leaned towards Quaz.

"Quaz? Who are these people?" he asked.

Quaz plucked his hat off his head and rubbed a handkerchief over his forehead. "Seem tah be Yulpata, tah me," he responded. Ed nodded, kicking himself for not knowing. Apart from the Koth, the Yulpata were the only native inhabitants of Hellhole.

One of them, obviously the de facto leader, stepped forward.

"Gerde uranfeo zezpat lolimbada. Refset memededa qistap pragshten velsedda. Di'wanni sulka firteth henja?" His tone denoted a question. Ed turned to Quaz.

"I don't speak Yulpat, how 'bout you?" he asked.

"It'll be a mite rusty, bu' it'll have tah do." He turned back to the head Yulpata. "Neney, jevkak?"

"Gerde uranfeo zezpat lolimbada. Refset memededa qistap pragshten velsedda. Di'wanni sulka firteth henja?"

"Ohhhh," said Quaz. He turned to Ed. "Man says he stopped here tah camp fer th' naght. Didn' know som'un lived heyre. Says his daughter wahndered off with a short, pale-haired man. Sounds lahke yer expurt pahlot."

Ed leaned back, holding both of his hands to his face. "Christ alive!"

"Whassa matter?" asked Quaz.

"If I know Dave, it's sure to be everything. You'd best have them follow us," responded Ed. Quaz turned once more to the Yulpat headman.

"Veseza, defdit solem burtyell... cur...curshat...atheem," he said, stuttering slightly

The headman nodded, obviously trying to piece together what Quaz had said. Then, comprehending, he shouted, "Olen! Olen!" He turned to his people, motioning them to follow. They arrived at Quaz's house five minutes later and Dave's absence confirmed Ed's suspicions.

"Wait here," he told Quaz. Then, he walked around behind the house and into the Condor, to find Dave, shirtless and smoking a cigarette, at one of the tables he had kept inside. Tools were strewn everywhere, along with building materials, and a box resembling a room of some sort stuck out oddly from the wall in place of the some of the sleeping tubes Dave had removed.

"Hey there, Dave." Dave looked up at his name and his face broke into his goofy grin when he saw Ed.

"Hey! You're back! What'd you bring me?" he asked.

"Dave, why is there just a random room attached to the wall?" asked Ed, completely dodging Dave's remark. Dave turned to look at the out-of-place box of metal that Ed was referring to.

"That's a demonstration of what the bunks'll look like. I figure we'll need about eight of them and that's the one I could build out of supplies from the hold."

"Dave, there wouldn't happen to be a Yulpat woman in there, would there?" Dave looked aghast and held his hand to his scrawny chest.

"Never! I would never get us roped into something above our heads for something so trivial!" he responded, quite dramatically.

"Oh, right," said Ed. And he walked to the door of the bunk, opened it slightly, and was rewarded with a shriek, a fist to the nose, and the door being slammed shut. He stumbled back, muttering profanities.

"OK, so maybe there was the one Yulpat, but she and I are just friends."

"Explain what kind of friends, Dave," said Ed. Dave thought for a moment.

"Definitely could have gotten more work done on the ship if I hadn't slept with her... type of friend." And he took a drag on the cigarette, barely containing his laughter at how infuriated Ed was.

"Might it occur to you, that when her family caught up with her, they might be a touch upset?" The thought sobered Dave up. And then, being Dave, he shrugged it off.

"It's fine. If it bothers them, she can just lie. She speaks Yulpat and Comlang." Comlang was the common language of the known universe. Most everyone knew it.

"What's her name?" asked Ed.

"Hmmm?" came the response.

"What. Is her name?" he asked again. Again, Dave thought for a moment.

"I want to say it starts with a C," he said. Ed recoiled slightly, clapping a hand to his forehead.

"Oh, goddamn it, Dave!" he shouted.

"What?" asked Dave, holding his hands up defensively. "I didn't start it," he said. "Just didn't stop it," he added as an afterthought.

"It doesn't matter who started it, what matters is that we get her back to her family, or tribe, or whatever, and don't let them find out you slept with her." Then, a thought struck Ed. "Wait a minute, the hell're Parsee and Kizzvell?" he asked. "THE HELL HAPPENED WHILE I WAS GONE?!" he shrieked.

"Parsee and Kizzvell left to play some mysterious Hellian-Holeian sports when they found out I was going to... see to the young lady," Dave responded, his voice level and calm.

After listening to the conversation for some time, the Yulpat peeked out of the room.

"Ex...Excuse me... I am.. Curwa," Hearing this, Dave snapped his fingers and pointed at her.

"HA! Told you it was a C!" he said.

"Shut up, Dave," said Ed. Then he turned back to Curwa. "Come on. Someone wants to see you."

"Th..thank.. you," she said, fumbling the words a little. Ed guided her out the hatch of the ship and, halfway through the hatch himself, turned back to Dave.

"You," he said. "Put a shirt on. No one wants to see that."

*****

While she had only been gone an hour or two, Curwa's family was very happy to see her. They flocked around her, everyone eager to give her a hug and keep her there so she didn't run off again. The Yulpata were perhaps even more tight-knit and taciturn than the Koth. Curwa's disappearance would've had a serious impact on them all. After the men had dispersed, Curwa's female companions stayed close, making sure no harm had befallen her.

One of them, obviously the matriarch, approached Ed. She was exceedingly short, no taller than five feet, but she commanded an air of authority. She was in the latter half of her life and her hands trembled as she stuck them out to give a small package to Ed. She pressed the package into his hands. It was warm to the touch and an amazing smell drifted up out of it. Ed looked at her and smiled.

"For me?" he asked. She grinned back, a very fangy grin at that, and nodded.

"F...For...y...y..you," she said. Ed's eyebrows raised at the words.

"You speak Comlang?" The question was fair as the Yulpata usually only designated one person to speak Comlang so the rest could gossip around strangers who wanted to trade. In response, she called over Curwa.They conversed for a little bit in Yulpat before Curwa looked at Ed.

"My...grandmother... says it is good...to eat. It is a thanks...for finding me," saying this, she tipped him the subtlest of winks. The corners of Ed's mouth pointed up before he remembered to keep her escapade under wraps. He unwrapped the package and found that it contained three small grain cakes. He turned to Curwa.

"How do you say 'thank you' in Yulpat?" he asked.

"Golbex oprek," she responded. Ed nodded and turned to the wizened Yulpat.

"Galbix oprak," he said, missing the pronunciation. The small Yulpat women sniggered and nodded, then turned and went back to ordering around the Yulpata who were helping her cook the dinner they had had to pack up.

*****

Quaz let the Yulpata camp out on his front lawn for the night, never one to begrudge fellow Hellian-Holeians a place to sleep. Ed and Dave decided to bunk in the dorm that Dave had built, Ed insisting that Dave take the bed. Just as Dave and Ed were about to turn their single, bare light bulb out, they heard and felt a pounding at the hatch to the Condor. Pulling on pants and undershirts Ed had bought at Aper Len, they stumbled to the hatch and heaved it open, it was quite heavy, to reveal Quaz, yet again holding his spread rifle. Seeing this, Dave decided he couldn't miss the opportunity.

"We didn't crash here again, did we? Ed, you'd have told me if we'd gone through a wormhole of sorts, wouldn't you have?" he asked.

"Shut up, Dave," said Quaz and Ed in unison.

"What does bring you to our sloppy shack, Quaz?" asked Ed.

"Parsee ain't come back yit. Ah'd like to go find her," he said. Ed nodded, processing the information.

"What about Kizzvell?" he asked.

"He ain't come back neither. An ah'm really hopin' there ain't any shenanigans happ'nin," said Quaz. Ed turned to Dave, staring at him, asking him a question with his eyes. Dave tragically misinterpreted the question.

"Don't look at me," he said. "I slept with the Yulpat, not Parsee." Not learning from his previous mistake, the bridge of his nose was swiftly introduced to the butt of Quaz's spread rifle.

"Yoo don' lern too fas', do ya?" Quaz asked.

"It wasn't even a hypothetical!" retorted Dave. "I was saying I didn't!"

"Shut up, Dave," said Ed. "What's important now is finding Parsee and Kizzvell. Sadly, you're our lead. Where'd she go?" Dave turned to Quaz.

"Can I talk without being beaten?" he asked. Quaz looked him up and down before answering.

"Fifty-fifty shot, kid," he responded.

"I'll take it," said Dave. "They went down the same tunnel you guys went to Aper-Len. Said there was some sort of sports court just outside the town. I'm surprised you guys didn't see it or them to be honest."

"Then tha's where we're hedded. Grayeb yerseylf a gun and fuyel oop th' Mule," said Quaz. 

Ed turned away and found his footlocker, on its side, in the far corner of the main of the ship. He righted it and threw it open, quickly grabbing one of his few prized possessions, an A&S 570 he had "liberated" from a confiscation room on Decken. He slung it across his back and went to close the locker, but paused. His eyes lingered on the object that took up the most space in the locker. Bright, blocky, silver letters were strewn across it, mangled in places.

"Soon. You'll be back soon," he said. Then he shut the locker, made sure his F-6 was strapped firmly to his hip, and met Dave at the Condor's hatch. Dave held no weapons, save for his pipe wrench balanced over his shoulder.

"You're really taking that thing?" Ed asked him.

"The bygone days of beating somebody's head in with a heavy object are returning to us, Ed. I'm simply making sure I'm prepared." Dave smiled at him, the unnerving, slightly manic smile he had pulled when they were stealing the Condor. It always foreshadowed Dave doing something incredibly inane, almost always something that he had no business doing.

Ed shrugged and motioned for Dave to go through the hatch. Dave bowed ridiculously low before walking out the hatch. Ed rolled his eyes and followed him. Quaz met them by the Flying Mule and climbed up into it as they approached. Ed climbed into the pilot's seat and Dave sat next to him. Ed revved the engine and started towards Aper Len. He got no more than a hundred feet before he was stopped by two Yulpata in his way.

Curwa and her grandmother stood immediately in front of the Flying Mule, barring its path. Ed stood up in his seat to make sure he could see them and vice versa.

"Excuse me, but you're in the middle of our search operation. Would you mind moving out of the way?" he called down to them. Curwa relayed the message to her grandmother, who almost immediately said something in response.

"My grandmother says that she would like to help you look for your daughter and friend," she said. 

"It's not your issue," said Ed. "You don't need to help us."

"My grandmother say it is not a...choice. Now, let us up before she...ehm...does...something...very bad," responded Curwa. Ed turned to his companions.

"This is the first time I've ever been forcibly helped," he said. Then he turned back to the two Yulpata. "Climb aboard," and he motioned for them to climb up next to Quaz. 

They set out again for Aper Len. The sounds of Hellhole's nightlife drifted through the caverns. Terrible shrieks from predators, finding their prey. There was also a strange, ethereal noise. It floated through the air and to the ears of the Flying Mule's passengers. It sounded vaguely like Terra-Firman whale-song. 

"What is that?" asked Dave. Strangely,it was Quaz who deferred to Curwa.

"It is the song of the...the...Gambesfree. A large, drifty animal. It can do us no harm, but its song is said to bring death on whoever hears it," she explained.

"Ah nevur b'leved it mahself, but sum peeple do," said Quaz. 

"Regardless," said Ed. "We should probably find Parsee and Kizzvell as fast as possible."

They continued in silence, the only sounds being Ed and Dave's awed gasps at the glowing fungus around them. When they were about a half mile from Aper Len, the court presented itself to them and Ed slowed the Mule to a halt. They all dismounted and spread out, though Curwa stuck close by her grandmother. Ed and Dave started across the court, while Quaz, Curwa, and her grandmother spread out around it. Ed's heavy boots clomped on the ground as he walked across it. He and Dave neared the edge of the court where some large bushes grew. Dave didn't pick up on it, but Ed could hear a faint rustling in one of the bushes. He drew closer to it. When he was about two feet away the bush exploded as something rushed out of it and something caught him heavily in the chest, driving him back and down to the ground.

"Son-of-a-bitch!" he yelled. Dave turned to help him but was stopped by a kick to the face. Just as the mysterious figure was about to kick him again, Ed drew his pistol on them, his rifle having been tossed to the side by the kick to his chest. 

"Freeze!" he wheezed. The figure froze. Ed stood up, shakily, and closed the gap between himself and the person. The dim light obscured their face, but the features sharpened the closer him came. Within a foot, he recognized who it was. It was Parsee. Parsee dressed rather immodestly. He quickly holstered his pistol.

"Where's Kizzvell?" he asked her, unconsciously keeping his voice low. She jerked her head to the bush she had just exploded out of. "Ah. Well, you'd best dress a little warmer. Quaz is here and he's looking for you." Her eyes went wide at the comment and she darted back into the bush to gather her clothes. She came out of the bush again, this time wearing the green tank top, camp pants, and boots Ed had come to associate with her.

"Ed, ah haven't known you very long, but you can't tell Dad about this," she said.

"I wouldn't," he responded. "Although I'm starting to question the moral integrity of this planet," he added in an undertone. 

"What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said.

As they finished this cerebral conversation, Quaz came running over, having heard Ed's profane yell. 

"Ya found her!" he said. "Ah swer, ah though she was grabbed bah somin'. Parsee, whater yoo doin' out so lahte?" All this was fired off very quickly in a hail of emotional speech.

"Sorry, Dad. Kizzvell and ah were having a game o' Cel and we lost track o' time," she said, employing the age old lie.

"Oh," said Quaz, somehow falling for the age old lie. "Well then wur's Kizzvell?" he asked. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on who you ask, Kizzvell chose that moment to rise up from the bushes.

"Here, Quaz," said Kizzvell. "I look for Cel-ball. Ah," Kizzvell said as Kizzvell bent to the ground. "I find. We leave now?" 

"Ah suppose," said Quaz, clearly confused by how quickly things were resolved. "Kizzvell, yoo wanna stay th' nahght?" he asked "Since ah still got yer tractor an' all?"

"I would be obliged. I must help Rovers improve spacecraft. It is hunk of garbage," he responded. Ed frowned, but let the comment slide in favor of going home to sleep. They all piled onto the Flying Mule after rounding up Curwa and her grandmother and set off for home. As they traveled, they heard the Gambesfree song again. Ed leaned over in his seat to try to see where the sound was coming from. 

"Hey, is that one, right the-" he began. He was cut off by the laser pulse burying itself in the chest of Curwa's grandmother behind him.