Hello, you amazing author! ^_^ This chapter is still in the Green Room, so I decided to nudge it out! I remember reading one of your previous chapters, but not all of them, so if I say something stupid, just ignore me xD Now on to the review!
Ed was confused. How had things spiraled out of control so quickly? In less than a week, two people had died, his best friend was almost killed, his SECBOT was probably going to be destroyed, and he would be prosecuted and thrown in jail for tampering with the Company's SECBOT.
Poor Ed, he really has been through a lot! I think he needs a big hug <3
Now all of that was slipping away from him. He didn't even have Alex in the room to comfort him. It had been taken away down to a cleaning closet to hold it there for tomorrow's interrogations.
I find it super interesting that Ed could be comforted by a robot -> instead of seeing it as superficial or having "built-in emotions," he seems it as a friend and a source of comfort. I think that's neat, because it shows the reader how normal these SECBOTs are and how much they've been integrated into their world.
I quoted a whole paragraph so I decided to put it in a spoiler to save room cx I wanted to point out that the majority of the sentences in this paragraph start with the word "He." That gets repetitive and a little hard to get through because it seems like the same thing over and over again. I recommend you vary how you start your sentences. Maybe start with a phrase, "Smiling to himself, he thought about how Dave was most likely..." or you can even reintroduce Ed's name somewhere in the paragraph. Just some suggestions <3
"Do you have any questions before we begin the questioning of G-38-7?"
"No man I do not" he responded.
Oh dear, I'm feeling tense cx I believe you meant "No ma'am" instead of "man"?
and a small, weasely looking man entered the room.
Haha, I love this bit of description you've got! I think you could give even more; does he have a soft or annoyed look on his face? What colour is his hair? Is it greasy? Are his eyes empty and cold? Stuff like that, you know c:
"This was in the charter agreement you signed when you came here." he said through obvious annoyance. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get this over with so I can get on a ship back home."
Love the way you've characterized this guy through his words and actions!
"And what do you know about them?"
"I know the perpetrator." An audible gasp came from everyone but Ed, whose eyebrows shot up his forehead as he lifted his eyes from the table to look at Alex.
AH OMG WHO WAS IT.
"The perpetrator...is me."
UM.
WHAT.
WHAT WHAT.
Ohmy gosh, I did not expect that at all! Ahh wait, why was he the one behind the crimes? :O What was his motive? Did someone else make him do it?? Ahh, so many questions...
I super love your ending. I did not expect that at all, and I love how you ended on that cliffhanger; it's definitely going to make me want to read the next chapter! You really played out the ending well; I had no suspicion of Alex, so that was completely unexpected, so I think you executed it super well. I can't wait to see Ed's reaction though; did he already know? I don't think so, but I also haven't read most of the beginning chapters, so I'm missing a few parts of the exposition cx I should check them out!
Overall, I think this chapter, just like Plume, is my favourite. It was exciting and thrilling, and it makes me want to come back for me. I hope this helped!
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