I wrote a poem for poem day...
It was a sunny day
and new was in the air.
A bee to a blossom,
a leaf to the wind.
I was walking along,
no intentions, you could say.
But who goes for a walk
in her finest dress,
or a polished face,
if not on a quest?
I knew where he lived,
this middle-aged man
who walked alone
in that strange yellow house.
I knew at exactly eleven,
he disposed of his women.
He would walk them,
barefooted,
to his white gate,
and blow them a kiss.
But would she ever take that kiss?
Would he ever mean that kiss...
...this time
I would be waiting
for that kiss!
And instead of letting
it float in the air,
I would be right there to snatch it,
and place it upon my own lonely cheek.
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141,298 Literary Works • 674,337 Reviews
Hi Classy. This was mysterious. Mysteriousness is cool.
Um, this is... interesting.
Well, the premise is confusing, and it took me a few reads to get it. Maybe make it a little more clear?
I really like the lines about "but who goes for a walk in her finest dress, or a polished face, if not on a quest?" I like the simple rhyme and stuff.
um, so the girl is like teen and is going to a pediphile's house... right?
I like your bridge. It mixes up the length of the stanzas, but in an organized way. However, you should work on clarifying the conetent of the bridge. THe idea is there, but the carry- through is gone.
the last 2 stanzas are really confusing. Please please clarify them.