Thanks Hannah! I have trouble with poetry, and your review helped.
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I totally loved this captain!!!! It was awesome, and I am obsessed with Alice in wonderland too, but this wasn't one of those cheesy cliche fan-fic poem, it actually had meaning to it, and was very well written. Great job!
Hey, Captain.classy.
Now, I'm no sonnet-expert or anything, but I have learned a thing or two about rhyming and metered poetry in my attempts at it, and I'm going to pass these things on to you.
First of all, it's REALLY hard to do well. We think 'Oh, it's easy to find words that rhyme with other words!', but in reality, we have to realize that these poems can't seem FORCED or the reader will know. They'll know if you had to invert the sentence structure in the last line of the second stanza to rhyme with the normal sentence structure in the second line of the second stanza (this is in your poem. xD).
Second of all, it's REALLY hard to do well! We think as long as we count syllables and they fit in, that's all good, but we have to pay attention to the meter as well. For example:
Nothing will matter once you’re gone; do it.
Earth’s ugly like a swan, perched like a fan.
Fall down that hole, happiness will emit.
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