The Runaway
And as the beautiful bride walked down the hallway,
Leading to her one true love,
Tears ran down her perfectly-powdered cheeks.
She followed the white carpet,
Lined with pink and red rose petals,
To the endless ride of decisions that awaited her.
She was marrying the wonderful man
Who gave her smiles, and captured her frowns.
Yet, something wasn’t right.
But, she couldn’t turn back now,
She entered the big white doors
Into a room filled with sanity,
Grins, and wandering eyes.
Everyone was watching her,
But she focused her mind on the patience
Of the brave and insanely committed man
Who would take her independence,
And give her all the love in the world.
So this is just a poem based off of my story The Runaway. if you liked the poem, you should read it! posted in fantasty fiction.
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its a creative idea. i liked the line about entering a room of sanity in contrast to the way the bride must be feeling, crazy for feeling like something is wrong (?), and also the description of the groom's "insane" devotion.
mmm. I really liked this. Good imagery.
Looks like I'm going to have to go find your story(:
Very good, you really painted the picture well.
And good luck with your story!
Love the poem. Might check out the story--you said it's under fantasy fiction, correct? I wonder why she's not sure...
Hmm. I guess if I don't want to stay up all night wondering why I'll have to read your story!
love the poem can't wait to read the story.
I'll definitely be looking for your story- I'll be tossing and turning all night in agony over why
when she did say that he was her .I'll never be satisfied until I know!
I don't think there should be a comma after 'hallway'.
Well it makes me want to read the story. It's a good opener if you are going to make it one. Draws you in, makes you wonder what is going to happen. Will she runaway? If she does when? Why is she? Where does she go? Will she return? So many questions can come from this single little poem. I'll keep a look out for you story and I might just put a review!
The only thing I can complain about is the format. It's written correctly it just seems really bunched together and unorganized. I don't know. Probably just me. Ignore it! :].
Oh my. This was quite an enjoyable poem. I loved reading it! ♥ The description and imagery felt very realistic; your perception of the bride's emotions and the room's atmosphere truly seemed authentic. =)
Aww, such a pretty and pristine image. :'D
I absolutely adore all the aspects you seemed to incorporate into this piece - even the feeling of apprehension and the conflict within the bride's mind really gave this piece a tangible realism. Not all marriages are perfect and I think that was presented nicely in the poem.
Overall, this piece was simply beautiful. Keep up the amazing work! =D
(By the way, thank you so much for commenting on Iridescent Illusion! :') Being new on this site, I'm thrilled to get any sort of review on a story. Thank you!)
- Nutmeg =3
Thanks! My story is posted: fantasy fiction.
That was interesting. I guess I'd have to read your story to get it. I could kind of feel what the character was feeling though. You think someone's the one, but they're not, and when it comes to that point...it just is hard. Great job, I liked it and it was interesting.