Young Writers Society

that is really great word. but i wonder why is it too short? good luck with your poems. i think it is better to write longer ones.

*eagerly waves* Hello! I'm here to review your poem!

Well, it's pretty simple, but it works. The message on the dissonance between the word acceptance and its appearance in society is effective and strongly conveyed. I would love to see an expansion of the final questions, so that I understand why the narrator doesn't think it can be found in the world. That would expand the length of this poem, sure, but I think it could ultimately define your message and present it in a way the audience can relate to. Beyond that, I will admit that the piece has a few of the trappings of a basic poem. For instance, there isn't much punctuation at the end of the lines, which leaves them a little disjointed than they, as related ideas, should be. Think about how they might be related in a sentence/sentences, and then you can intersperse commas and periods at your leisure. Too, though this might be more nitpicky, the beginnings of each line is capitalized. In my opinion, it's better to capitalize the first word of a train of thought, relying upon my aforementioned comments on visualizing related lines as sentences.

As a last comment, I notice that you attempt to incorporate a rhyme scheme in the middle of the poem. As there isn't any noticeable rhyme in either the start or the end, it comes across awkwardly, though the rhyme itself is fairly decent. I'd advise either adding a rhyme scheme to the rest of the piece, or removing it from the middle. Regardless, this is a decent poem. It's deceptively simple and sweet, hammering in the unexpectedly deeper message nicely at the end. It could do with some touching up and improvements, but well done!

Hello there, I m Kostia and I will give you a brief review for this poem.

First of all I love that you started off with the word acceptance in its own verse. The concept you have here is interesting, deep and highly emotional so it's a good start up idea for a poem.

However (and this might be just my opinion) your poem is very small which causes it to lack meaning at certain points. I would like to see more on this poem in order to comprehend what you are trying to say with it, what is the message you want to share through this poem.

Other than that your vocabulary is simple and beautiful, I don't have much to note here. You didn't use rhyming which is fine by me.

Moreover the imagery in your poem is not strong at all, to be frank it is barely present. Adding some imagery and some metaphors would definitely make this piece better even though you don't really have to if that's not your thing. I understand that this poem is mainly focused on the emotional part more than anything else but some imagery would definitely make it more pleasant to read.

Over all I like the idea you have here and I recommend to expand more and definitely add some stanzas. I would love to see the edited version.

I hope my suggestions were helpful.

Keep up the good work!

Hey bloodstring!

I love the idea you've got here, but I think you need to help the poem for the topic. It seems a bit lighthearted to me, spelling out the word acceptance and all, when you're most worried about finding it. You mention its beauty, harmony, and easiness to memorize; but j need some emotion here! How does it feel to have acceptance? What makes it beautiful?

The line about decorating a heart seems about vague. Maybe use something more powerful instead, like, "Beautiful enough to bring strangers together, for the lost to find a home"- I feel like that's a bit more stirring, maybe use some good imagery to convey that emotion too!

I'm not sure about the "true" line- what's true, and why would you say it? Maybe "I could spell it to you / before you could complete the action of acceptance" or something along those lines? It's a bit more meaningful in my mind.

Hm, then your last bit, I think you definitely need a stronger line than a question. "You have to give yourself to be accepted" or something, whatever strikes more of a chord and leaves the reader feeling instead of a little confused. Or maybe you could say that it can't really be found, and you can only imagine, if you wanted to be a bit more cynical.

Anyway, I hoped this helped you a bit, and feel free to ask any questions!

-Q