The Library.

Hullo! First off I'd like to say that I am by no means a poet and you may take whatever I say with a grain of salt, I try my best my I'm new to this whole thing.

I really like this poem! I like the overall message, and I didn't feel like you were pushing an agenda whilst you gave some straight advice. I liked how you kept it straightforward but poetic at the same time.The first thing that felt off to me was the lack of punctuation, while I liked your format, and found it interesting, and not confusing, I felt some lines lacked a punch or maybe some emotion with said lack of punctuation. Then at the end there, from the 8th to last line, you used the same rhyme repeatedly. it all ended in "ay" or "ays" which I don't think you broke any of the "rules of poetry" by doing so, because you didn't repeat words too close together, it just felt a little clumsy when I was reading it to myself. I liked that you used some near rhymes, they weren't all strict and I felt that gave the poem some more... 'character', if you will. I don't know proper terminologies for things like this... clearly XD.
Overall though, I really liked it. It was concise, clear, poetic, it rhymed, it was rhythmic, all the basic things a poem needs, and while being basic necessities, it's a hard check-list to actually accomplish. Creative idea there, and I think you pulled this off quite nicely.

I hope you found this review helpful and not offensive in any way. Thank you for reading
-Anne

Hey bloodstring! It's AshleyDashley here for a review!

First off I LOVE your theme! A library is my home away from home and I can totally relate to this. It is my favorite place to be! The way you also described the genre of the books was just wow. I was speechless after reading it. You did a marvelous job writing this!

But there's a problem nowadays
As children tend to go astray.

Visit the library everyday
'Cause reading can unlock your future some way.

hello person! phangirl here to review!

i so so so loved your work! damn its awesome! libraries...books...book generes...well it had to be good cause it had all of them in it!...now about the review... well here we go!

THEME

AWEEEEEEEEEESOME THEME! i do love going to libraries! they are sort of my second home! my friends always joke about it though... they always say we should check the library, before we check your home, when we need you...lol
but i think you can understand why i do that if you feel the way you expressed in the poem... guess i'm gonna ask them to read this, so that they understand i'm not the only person on earth to spend so much time in the library...


FLOW

your poem did rhyme you know, and i really dont know if that was intentional or not, but i would say the rhyming did not atall sound forced first time i'm ever saying that to someone so yeah good job there


GRAMMAR

my reviews usually consist of me correcting peoples puncuations , tenses and what not, but i guess your poem had good gramma itself, so no need to edit anything there...also there are no spelling errors, so thats a pro again...

the use of bullets was also something new that i saw...and candidly speaking... i really not know how to feel about it...so i would probably not comment on it ...

•Where the world is at peace
•And where all the souls meet
•Where my mind relaxes a bit
•From all the tensions around me

Hello! I really enjoyed reading your poem. I too love libraries!! Now onto reviewing...

I'm going to disagree with the first reviewer on the bullet points - I really liked them! They were refreshing, and cute (which I think fits perfectly with the tone of this poem). However, if you are going to keep the bullet points, I would suggest making the entire poem more list like. First off, I would not break up single thoughts into multiple bullet points. For example you could combine the lines "Where my mind relaxes a bit from all the tension around me" into one line, and the lines "Everywhere I look I see lots of books" into one line as well. Second, I would consider removing the majority of your punctuation (probably all of it except the commas that separate the lists of subjects). Again, this will make your poem more informal and list like.

Now let's discuss your rhyme scheme. Personally, the fact that you rhymed all seven of the last lines was a bit overwhelming (and maybe just a tad unnecessary). This rhyming really threw me off because the rest of your poem has a really sporadic rhyme scheme and then all of a sudden boom, boom, boom, boom lots of rhymes (to the point where the rhyming was making your entire poem seem a little forced). Keep in mind this may just be my bias talking (I am not the biggest fan of poetry that rhymes) but I would consider revising those last few lines. At least read them aloud and make sure you like how they sound!!

As for the content of your poem - I really enjoyed it. However, I think there is a lot of room to expand upon your ideas. When I finished reading your poem I was left with some questions and what felt like gaps (maybe??) in your poem where you could fill in more detail. For example, I would include more physical descriptions of the library - this is more interesting to me than the genres of book you can find in the library (anyone could list those off, make your library personal!! it's yours!!!). I would also consider describing people you see in the library or memories you have of the library? Great reading experiences? Finally, I was wondering how "children tend to go astray"? This made me think of how "our generation" is constantly on our phones - but maybe that's not the meaning you intened?? Anways, these are just some suggestion, you are in no way required to abide by!!!

Overall, great poem!!! I really liked it and I will be watching out for more works that you publish.

~ Summer

I liked it! Like you, I love the library, and I'm an avid reader. I recommend not putting in the bullet points, as they can be visually distracting to the reader. Besides that, it was lovely. I enjoyed the rhyming, as well as the light-heartedness of the entire poem. I'm looking forward to more poems like this one. I am not a poet myself, so I don't know the rules of poetry or what counts as a leeway, but I would advise you to use more proper punctuation. Keep up the good work.