How a homosexual man changed my life

Preface: This is a personal essay I am writing for admissions to university. According to my guidance counselor, and earlier essays I posted on YWS, are not suitable for the purposes of an admissions essay. In this essay I really wanted who I am to come out, and I hope it did. Additionally, it is around 750 words and it should be around 500; any suggestions to cut it down are appreciated. Of course, all constructive criticism is welcome. Happy reading.

How a homosexual man changed my life

“My name is Becca,” I sheepishly said, still slightly nervous about what I was joining.

“Hi Becca!” the club enthusiastically welcomed me.

“I’m a junior, a Cancer, I would put chocolate on just about anything, and I’m here because I want to learn to be more open about other people’s differences.” I took a deep exhale of relief and smiled; this couldn’t be that hard. After I finished my turn at the go-around questions I fell into the human cushion that consisted of my two gay best friends, my bi-sexual friend, and another female friend who was there as a straight ally.

My presence there that October afternoon was solely based upon the friendship that had formed between Todd and me.

Todd was one year my senior and fate brought us together on the bus ride home from the January Math regents. Statistically, in a school of over 3000 students, with no courses shared and no extra-curricular activities shared, it is pure luck that we met and a super natural occurrence that we became best friends let alone friends at all. To this day we wonder “how on earth did the Jewish yeshiva girl become so close to the racy gay boy?”

We started off as acquaintances; Todd helping a freshman navigate the system of classes and teachers and school politics. After a mutual friend had arranged a hangout, we realized we had compatible personalities; we were both witty, enjoyed the same flavor of humor, and not afraid to debate and discuss controversial ideas. We became closer and were able to share our problems and successes. We had mutual respect and an understanding for each other unlike with any of our other friends. Todd taught me to work things out pragmatically, to not give miniscule tasks the merit of worry, to step out of my self imposed boundaries, and to accept people for who they are.

At the end of my sophomore year, the friend I had known so warmly told me he was gay. I had never really known anyone who was gay before; I only knew of the social stigma associated with it. I sat in my room pondering and realized that it did not matter. So what if he liked other boys? He was the same person who had been there for me, who had made me laugh during the darkest of days, and who had so much admired my own personal choices as I dressed and acted differently from my peers.

Todd had opened my eyes to an entire world that up until that point I completely misunderstood. I now saw what it was like to get bullied merely based upon your sexual preference, something atrocious, and yet I could empathize, having been subject to anti-Semitic remarks. Besides taking me to different cultural venues across NYC and exposing me to different foods, people, and cultures, by simply being my friend Todd has enabled me to be more open minded and accept everyone for who they are.

There are two things I am absolutely sure of. You never know the influence you can have on one person, and how one good deed leads to another. It is safe to say, that had I not been introduced to homosexuality by someone who I personally knew and considered a good hearted human being, there is no way I would be as pro-active as I am. I would not have explained to my peers that saying “that’s so gay” is offensive, supported the NY Same-Sex Marriage Bill, nor would I have joined the Gay-Straight Alliance, a club I had been apprehensive about since I began high school due in part to the homophobia in my surrounding environments. The relationship I have with Todd has helped us see each other’s worlds in an entirely new light. I know that Todd now understands and has a new respect for many Jewish practices and looks at Israeli politics more objectively than he had before, because he listened to my beliefs and was able to formulate his own opinions. I also learned that in order to be a good person you need to see beyond what you believe and acknowledge the beliefs and practices of others as equally legitimate. By surrounding myself with people who have different beliefs than I do, I have been able to open my mind to new concepts, ideas, and people and truly be able to think for myself, and learn from everybody.