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Canary word: Present
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
Hey, Katie here to review~
Honestly, I don't think that thic could be lyrics. It might just be me, but being a songwriter/singer, I know that lyrics are literary that start with atleat two verses.
For example:
[verse one]
[verse two]
[verse three]
[chorus]
[verse four]
[verse five]
[bridge]
[chorus]
[verse six]
But, your writing does have LOTS of potential! I like how you described the narrorators longing to see the person again, wether it be a boy or girl, you can see how they want eachother.
My favorite part though is when you wrote- "So later one, let's follow the stars and find our way back to eachother."
That line is just adorable, and it tells you that the narrorator someday would like to meet up with that person again. But not by technology, no, but by the stars.
I think this would make a great poem.
~Pix
I really, really liked this piece. I'm a bit uncertain under what sort of tone the lyrics would be placed, but regardless I still really liked it. It read quite nicely, as though the words were easily rolling off of my tongue. I did, however, dislike the angsty mood of the work-- but you did warn, so I'm not going to fuss about it.
My favorite stanza of the piece was the final one. I love the idea of "follow[ing] the stars" -- it just-- gah! That line creates such a classical feel. Then mentioning, again, in the final line the "heavens"-- it just creates this crisp, perfect lining to the lyrics.
It was a pleasure to read, and well worth the time. Keep writing!
Alright so I'm not exactly sure how to review Lyrics but I sure will try
Sarah
If it's supposed to be song lyrics, it's a little short. I love the words, though. It's very pretty and it sounds like something that would be a slow song. Something I would listen to.
In other words, good job