Hello hello! Happy RevMo and happy review day! 
Some of my favorite things I've written have been these seemingly random thoughts coming out of my head onto paper. I think it can be a really cathartic way to get out emotions or a way to explore a topic you hadn't thought much about before. Not sure if writing this piece was more of a cathartic experience for you or simply exploration, but I'll do my best to help nonetheless.
What I liked about this piece was the simplicity of it. You said a lot about what is going on with this girl and where she is in life with just a few short words. I felt her pain and her loneliness of being in this world, dealing with all that she is dealing with, all alone.
A small girl, living in a world.
That just doesn't understand her.
I feel like this is one thought and it could read as one sentence. As two sentences it sounds a bit choppy.
I like that you described her as a "small" girl. I think it would be cool if you juxtaposed that with the size of the world, like by saying "in a big world" or "huge world" or something like that. I'm getting an image of a girl curled up in a corner while everyone and everything is huge and imposing around her.
With her trying to get past all of the
depression,
anxiety,
her past,
and so much more.
I thought putting each thing she is struggling with on its own line really added to the drama and made each thing stand out as its own compelling challenge for her. I also liked the phrasing "get past". She's trying to move forward with her life and live her life but it's hard. There are a lot forces stacked against her and she feels alone.
Can she keep going on like this?
Or will something in her life,
push her just far enough...
to the point of suicide?
And even though this ending is really sad, I thought it was necessary to include. You've introduced the problem (she's all alone with all of this bad stuff happening), what she's trying to do (get past everything), and now you've included the stakes and what will happen if she can't find a way to get past it (she could die). Powerful stakes.
I really hope that if this piece was a cathartic experience for you or if you're feeling like the girl in this story that there is someone in your life you can reach out to and talk about it with. If not, please feel free to PM me <3 Overall, I thought this was a powerful little piece and thought you executed it well! Let me know if you have any questions or if you want feedback about something I didn't mention!
Points: 32055
Reviews: 1162
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