Depression is a lot more complicated than one may think. It makes you exhausted, anxious, and depressed. Making it feel like there really is no reason to live. The medication, blades, and the thoughts consume your mind. They turn you into a completely different person. Into someone you thought would never exist. The depression, makes you feel like you have nothing, even if you were to have everything. It causes great pain. Every day feels like hell. You feel worthless, hopeless, like a failure. Not sure what you'll do tomorrow. If you'll even bother to get out of bed.
You act fine all day long, until your back in your room. 2 am, in bed, crying. Not because of the depression, but what it has done to you. You can't tell anyone because you're afraid too. You hate to see people cry, or even feel the slightest bit upset. You really do want to tell someone, feeling like it may help you, but you just can't. You think you'll have to fight this battle alone. Because that's all you ever think. You'll never get help, or that no one even cares. Even if so many people cared, it wouldn't matter. You wouldn't believe it. Never knowing when or how it'll ever be better, you think it's maybe time to give up.
You don't want to keep living like this. It's tiring. It feels like too much. Just way too much. So you do, you give up.
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