Depression is a lot more complicated than one may think. It makes you exhausted, anxious, and depressed. Making it feel like there really is no reason to live. The medication, blades, and the thoughts consume your mind. They turn you into a completely different person. Into someone you thought would never exist. The depression, makes you feel like you have nothing, even if you were to have everything. It causes great pain. Every day feels like hell. You feel worthless, hopeless, like a failure. Not sure what you'll do tomorrow. If you'll even bother to get out of bed.
You act fine all day long, until your back in your room. 2 am, in bed, crying. Not because of the depression, but what it has done to you. You can't tell anyone because you're afraid too. You hate to see people cry, or even feel the slightest bit upset. You really do want to tell someone, feeling like it may help you, but you just can't. You think you'll have to fight this battle alone. Because that's all you ever think. You'll never get help, or that no one even cares. Even if so many people cared, it wouldn't matter. You wouldn't believe it. Never knowing when or how it'll ever be better, you think it's maybe time to give up.
You don't want to keep living like this. It's tiring. It feels like too much. Just way too much. So you do, you give up.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,800 Reviews
Hello there!
Well, firstly i would like to applaud you for your gallant effort *applause*
After a very long time, a piece of work, that I could relate to. This literally is how all of us have felt at least once, at some point in our lives.
I love it to bits, not only for the fact that it is relatable, but for the fact this on it's own is an excellent piece of writing.
Good job.
Keep writing
~Kay
thank you <3
Hey there, this really sums up what I feel at times.
Depression is hard to write about, it is complicated like you have said and that is shown by how throughout different points in this piece you almost contradict yourself. Depression changes and contradicts itself so this is perfectly describing it.
Another thing I found is very true is how people are able to act like everything is fine when it isn't and you support why we do that because of how we don't want it to hurt others.
You sum up the absolute insanity and craziness that is depression very well in this piece, I think that it might be harder for some people to fully understand this if they haven't personally felt the affects, but this would give them some insight into it.
The end is powerful and quite true, but I also believe giving up can be interpreted as two different things. One is what most people associate with depression and assume it means which is suicide, but I think there is another thing it can mean, which is giving up completely so much so that suicide is almost too much work and the person would not care enough to do that.
This is really an amazing piece of writing and its' powerful and full of the truth. You have touched on the majority of aspects of depression and connected them backing them up with each other.
Finally, I just want to say that I totally understand how talking about it can be hard and it doesn't seem like people care (as you wrote), but working past that and speaking about it really does help and I think that you are doing that in a great way which is writing this.
I hope you're doing ok.
Sláinte -Junel
I'm so glad that you do understand the whole point of this piece. In the end, I do mean that I have given up to the point, that suicide seems like too much work, and that I couldn't do it. Sometimes, everything seems so dull, and it is too much. I am glad that you understand.
~Alecsander
Hello! Squirtlepowiee here for another review! I don't have much to say because this is a very short piece without many mistakes. Just a few, and I'll list them here:
Why do I get the feeling that "you" committed suicide xD My last thoughts are, you could definitely add more detail and descriptions. This is my biggest concern. It lacks a lot of detail and thought. In the beginning, you said that depression was more than it looked like. I feel like you can add a lot more to this story. Keep trying and don't stop writing!
"Depression is a lot more complicated than one may think. It makes you exhausted, anxious, and depressed." I wouldn't use the word depressed to describe depression. Try dispirited or fed up. You can use this website if you need to find stronger synonyms for words. It's a very useful web. http://www.thesaurus.com/
"The medication, blades, and the thoughts consume your mind." I assume that "medication" is the medicine you take for depression. I didn't really understand how the word "blades" fit into how depression consumes you. You can use "blades" to describe the feeling of depression. (1st paragraph, 2nd sentence)
"The depression, makes you feel like you have nothing, even if you were to have everything." A bit weak here. I would rephrase it to, "The depression, makes everything you have feel like nothing."
"2 am, in bed, crying." Too much commas here.
"Not because of the depression, but what it has done to you." This sentence contradicts what you were saying in the first paragraph. I would say, "Not only because of the depression, but also, what it has done to you."
"You can't tell anyone because you're afraid too." Take "too" out. It's not adding onto anything here.
"You really do want to tell someone, feeling like it may help you" Try to make this sentence more clear. Previously you said you didn't want to tell anyone because you're afraid. I kind of get what you are trying to say here, but it isn't clear enough.
I like the ending!
~Greetings from Squirtlepowiee
Hey XxPheonixKittenxX. I'm going to review your "other" and I hope I can help improve it in some way. I notice this is a touchy subject and personal so I wanted to let you know that if you ever need someone to talk to you can always PM me. Also if you have any questions about my review feel free to PM me that or comment them. I'll definitely try to help you improve as a writer. Now onto the review~
I think it's a bit obvious that depression makes you depressed maybe instead write "It makes you exhausted, anxious, as well as depressed" or just use a different word instead of "depressed".
This is a sentence fragment. You can fix this by using a semicolon instead of a period or correct it to "It makes it" or "Depression makes it".
Here's other sentence fragments.
The first comma is unnecessary.
Instead of just saying it causes "great pain" I recommend going in depth and using imagery as well as metaphors to really show the readers the pain.
This comma is unnecessary.
The first comma is unnecessary.
This doesn't make sense, instead, try saying "you feel like it may help you".
This sentence doesn't make much sense to me either. I don't see a clear solution but perhaps changing the word choice of this and the sentence before will do the trick.
I think it makes more sense to remove the "ever". Also this is a comma splice, so replace the comma with a period.
I'm going to be honest and say I felt this was boring. You started this work telling the reader that depression is a lot more complicated than they think but as a reader I felt this wasn't surprising or new information about depression. I also felt like every sentence was simple and lacked detail and imagery. I didn't feel the emotion. I didn't feel sympathetic to the narrator. I recommend changing the "you"s to "I"s to make it more personal and writing it in the past tense. Most people are compassionate and sympathetic to others especially when they're reading in the perspective of others. I wasn't a huge fan of the bolding and italicizing of "depression" and "give up". Not only do I feel like it's unnecessary, I also feel like you wrote in a hidden message telling people with depression to give up. I'm sure you don't mean that but that's how it looks. Anyway, this wasn't really an impactful or insightful piece but I feel like it has the potential to be one.
marmalade