I am so sad, so lost that I can’t find myself. Everyone thought I was okay, that I was not affected by the tormenting, beatings, and the name calling. I think I am so far down a never ending hole that not even the longest rope can reach my depth. I am being torn into thousands of pieces, fragments so small that they will never be put back together. You know, I have been thinking about ending it all for a long time now. I can't take anymore of this abuse - even if I did die the sun will still rise and set, the moon will still wax and wane in the sky; life won't stop because I ended mine.
They say when you're depressed and suicidal your world looks dark and gloomy. That's a lie. The world looks the same, it's your perception on the world that changes. It seems that everyone hates me; they are just waiting to laugh at me at the pitiful person I have became. That I am a mistake, that I never should have been born, that I am useless. Or at least that's what you tell me daddy, while you throw me around, beat me and choke me. Mom, you stand there watching, as dad tries to kill me. The only thing you do is tell me that it's my fault he is hurting. That I am a stupid little slut. Funny mom if you really cared you would know I’ve never even had a boyfriend and I never will.
You hate me, both of you but that's okay because daddy I really hate you, too. I don't love you in the slightest. You don't deserve to have a great daughter like Rosie. She’s so bright and beautiful. She truly is an amazing sister.
Mommy yeah - don't think I would forget about you. You gave me everything I needed: food, a place to live, clothing, and education. That's it. No love, the thing that I needed the most. You isolated me, never speaking a word to me. Well that’s not true- you like to tell me how I am not going to make it in life, how I am a failure. Guess you’re right: I won’t make it. I am leaving the world behind, I hope heaven will accept an evil and corrupt person like me. I bet you would love to see me breathe my last breath, to watch me bleed out on the floor.
Then there was school. School wasn’t an escape from the hell at home, it was the exact same thing. More hateful words and people looking down on me. Everywhere I turned there’d be a kid who would want to push me and say hurtful things or a teacher who would just walk on by pretending to not see what’s happening. I used to stand up for myself but you can only pick yourself up so many times. There comes a point when your legs can no longer support you and you just stay down.
Rosie, I love you. As much as I can love anything with my cold black heart. You were the only person that cared for me. You should not have had to love me baby sis but thank you. Without you I would have probably done this long ago. You tried to help me, to save me, but not even you could save me now. I am sorry for the grief that I will cause you. You are the only one who can weep for me, the only one who cared. Have a happy life, a family, and hell let’s throw in a dog. Live for the both of us - don’t let anyone steal your flame from you. Goodbye. I will take daddy's sleeping pills and slowly drift to sleep. Then I will be free from the pain, from school, from mom and dad.
Goodbye cruel hateful world, I will never see you again.
Sincerely, Lilly
R.I.P Lilly age 15
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137,756 Literary Works • 672,069 Reviews
This is really great! I love how you put in the details of everything that goes on in her life. How there was only one that loved her and that was her sister. How her mom just stands there and watches her father abuse her wile she is calling out names like slut. How the teachers just walk by when they see the other kids calling her names and beating her up.
-teriesa
I would really like to know of what happens to the sister and if she is being abused also.
Keep on writing
Maybe I'll write a letter to Raven from Lilly. Thank you.
Warm greetings friend!
Wow! such an amazing work of art!
From the title to the very last words of your short story, the emotional climate was very well maintained. I really like how you have disguised the topic of child abuse and neglect as a suicide note. I really commend you for your creativity.
The first paragraph of your short story, clearly tells us that Lilly has given up on life. The last line of the first paragraph
"I can't take anymore of this abuse - even if I did die the sun will still rise and set, the moon will still wax and wane in the sky; life won't stop because I ended mine." is a very, very influential line. I really, really loved. [That's my favorite part of the short story].
Furthermore, as the short story further developed, Lilly seemed to have turned her back on the world but the love she had for her baby sister, kept her alive for fifteen years. I really liked how you progressed your story. I am also impressed how you have portrayed the reason why Lilly decided to end her life. It is simply beautiful and saddening at the same time!
I honestly have to overlook all the flaws of this piece because it is simply so deep and moving. However, I would like to make a suggestion to the title of your short story. I think you could have given it a more deepening touch for instance "Letter to my Rosie, Goodbye baby sis" [I know I suck at titles -_- ] . Nonetheless, I love your current title just as much.
Anyways, I loved reviewing your work. I am looking forward to reviewing more of your works. Good luck for your future.
~Kay
Thank you kindly!
Hey there,
This is an interesting piece.
You perfectly described Lilly's emotions and her troubles using her relationship with her family and school
Sometimes life can be a total nightmare; in your story, Lilly is missing love and care. You said that she had everything else.
The hurting incidents and lacking love results in suicide; you perfectly brought that out using this short story.
I really like this story because
you took the reader into Lilly's sorrowful life, you showed the reader how life can be brutal when you are lacking love.
And finally you showed out the wrong decision that is taken as the ultimate result.
Good job wgc! I really enjoyed your story!
Thank you!
Hey, WGC! Nice piece! It's good to meet you! (Just a suggestion, I would change your description line to say "not me." "Not mine" makes it sound like it's not your work.)
This was an interesting read. Story is a crucial form of communication; it's an important way to help others understand how some people think and feel. This story is something valuable, and I like the format of a suicide note.
In my mind, Lily feels a bit too truthful. People aren't this honest--not because they're purposely lying, but because they themselves don't even know exactly what they're thinking or how they're feeling. It feels too clinical, especially "They say when you're depressed and suicidal your world looks dark and gloomy. That's a lie. The world looks the same, it's your perception on the world that changes. " Lilly is suicidal, depressive, and clearly at such a low point that she's actually going to go through with it. She's not going to think about perception. This is how the world really is, in her mind. It's real. It's not that the people seem to hate her, everyone actually does hate her. You'll see it all the time with people; when they're having one of their bad days, and they're in a really bad state, their reality changes. The truth changes. But to them it's still real and still true.
I like when it picks up and gets more emotional, when she's addressing her parents. I want that kind of raw feeling throughout the rest of it. She's a depressive teenager about to end her life. She isn't calm. Think about the context, the story behind the story. What finally happened? What was the last straw? Where was she before this note? Where did she write it? What was she thinking or feeling? Having the answers o these questions in your mind will help it feel more real.
Thank you.