11:10 PM
Danny: I am done with life, Kelly
Next comes a picture of concrete from the rooftop
The roof where you both spent hours watching the stars
Marveling at their beauty
D: I can’t handle it anymore
D: All I want to do is jump
D: It will be better for everyone.
And just like that, you’ll never look at that magical place the same
11:20 PM
D: You’ll be fine Kelly
D: All you need to do is write,
D: Write about my passing then you’ll move on
D: I don’t matter all that much.
Just like that they’ll just be a ghost?
A vague memory of your past?
How could they so easily dismiss how much you really care about them?
D: Kelly do you really care that much?
D: I don’t believe you do, no one does
D: I don’t blame them
Guess they have forgotten the late nights
And long “debates” we had on who was the coolest
Or the days we spent at the park on third avenue
D: This might be good bye,
D: Farewell Kelly
Your friend really knows how to drive those words deep
Like a knife that’s been thrust into you
With every text they send the knife twists and sinks in deeper
Who know words could hurt leaving you feeling gutted and empty?
11:45 PM
Then silence.
Nothing.
Your friend stops reading your texts
They stop replying
That’s when your stomach drops
You picture awful things
Things you wish you would have never thought about
You see them laying on the hard concrete
Thinking no one loves them
You want to go numb
11:50 PM
Tears start streaming
Running freely you can’t contain it
You can’t remember the last time you’ve cried so hard
You start bombard them with reasons why you’ll miss them
Why they should keep going
Kelly: If you leave who will I wake up and send a good morning text?
K: You are the first person I think about when I wake up
K: And the last one I think about when I go to bed
K: Plus without you who am I going to do stupid stuff with
K: Remember that hair cut we gave each other?
K: Our moms just about beat us
K: You are the only person who can tell that I am upset
K: Even on my darkest days you manage to make me see the sun
K: And believe life is worth living
K: Well so is yours, live on
11:55 PM
You start feeling empty
Like a part of you has been torn away
Your partner in crime is locked away
They'll never see the light of day again
You can't stop shaking
Why would such a beautiful person end their life?
11:59 PM
When you realize they finally read your messages
You start crying in relief
K: Please answer me
K: I need you
K: I love you
D: Relax, it will be okay Kel
D: Good night
That empty hole has been filled once again
But when it comes time to sleep
Dread washes over you again
Like a wave of freezing water knocking you over
Leaving you feeling paralyzed
12 AM
Will they wake in the morning?
Will they reply to your morning text?
Will you see their smile?
Will you ever get to see them in person again?
So many questions rush through your head
Sadly, all you can do is wait
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140,477 Literary Works • 673,243 Reviews
So first off, Congratulations on making me cry.
This poem is so full of meaning for me. I feel like poetry isn't just a form of writing, or a form of art. Poetry is baring your soul, it is letting loose your sorrow, or sharing your overflowing joy. This poem cuts through me like a scalpel to the heart. I think a lot of people (whether or not they may be suicidal) wonder if anyone would care if they died, or killed themselves. I read this and it is like we have our response to that; yes, people will care. Maybe there is a person who relies on you, who only wakes up because you are there. Maybe there is someone who thinks about you last thing before sleep and first thing at waking. I think that your poem completley portrays this, and because of this I have fallen in love with it. I have read it three times over since I started typing this and I am still in awe of it.
I don't know what your inspiration, was this an event that happened? do you feel like Danny? I do not know, but thank you for writing this.
I have found no flaws, you spelling is on key and your flow is great. This is easy to read and clear as day to understand.
Your review is poetic and flattering. I am so pleased it touched you in such a way! I feel at times I am Danny. I agree every one at times has that moment, "Wow, do I really matter?" But, my inspiration was I that this happened to me in some ways. Me being me I had to put it in to words. Again thank you!
You are totally welcome!
Keep writing and remember, you will always matter.
Hello, Tigerlilly here to review!
WOW! This is incredibly moving... I can definitely relate, considering I have been through this with an old friend of mine. It's incredibly antagonizing, waiting and hoping for them to read your messages and respond, just so you can have the reassurance of knowing they are okay. This hit spot on for me, and I'm absolutely stunned by how well you wrote it. You grasp the suspense perfectly, and you have me on the edge of my seat wondering what will happen next.
I honestly wish I had something to nitpick on, but it appears you've already captured this moment perfectly. Brilliant work, and keep writing! I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Thank you so much! It's sad that, that friend I cared about so much left me. haha Oh well.
Also, I am glad that you can feel and relate to my work.
wow, this is defiantly a reality that many people are faced with. i love how you explained the way you felt. i can tell that this has come from the heart and you spent some time working on it. i also like the suspense at the end, will there be another writing about what happened the next morning? id love to hear more!
That would be a good idea. Thank you.
wow, this is defiantly a reality that many people are faced with. i love how you explained the way you felt. i can tell that this has come from the heart and you spent some time working on it. i also like the suspense at the end, will there be another writing about what happened the next morning? id love to hear more!