I'll turn you into nothing

by Virgil

Published November 11, 2016

E - Everyone

In Drifting Leaves (Fall 2016 Poetry)

I'll turn you into nothing; a crushed 9
can. The documentary says, 8
you can't turn something into 7
nothing and nothing to 6
something, but you are 5
more than something. 4
Pollution 3
is a 2
hoax. 1

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Lumi
Review
Lumi wrote a review Review · Nov 27, 2016

Lowkey just called the you trash. GPOY.

Personally, I feel like this doesn't carry much weight as a standalone. I get that it's a nonet, and really I don't think those carry much weight to begin with, but all the same I'd like some contextual stanzas experimented around like you do.

I think you could pull off some really sweet ozone imagery, trash imagery, pollution and conversion and nuclear waste imagery. Just. It could all be good---you know what I mean.

This is moreso a comment on the want of more of this than anything, so. Here you go.

Ty

p.s. Weak ending. Really weak ending. Burn it and reforge.

User avatar
Dulcet
Comment
Dulcet commented Comment · Nov 12, 2016

Just thought I'd point out the fourth line:

nothing and nothing into 6

Isn't that 7 syllables instead of 6? Or am I hallucinating? :D Great poem either way.

Virgil replied · Nov 12, 2016

Thanks, I wouldn't have caught that, I really appreciate it!

User avatar
IzzyIsHappy
Review
IzzyIsHappy wrote a review Review · Nov 11, 2016

Now I understand what this is! This turned out great. I hate guessing what poetry is about but I will try.
To me this is a symbol of something that is worthless, but nothing can be turned into something. And my other idea is that this is just about a can that you are recycling. Who knows I'm bad at this like I said.
I really enjoy your works! You are a great writer.
Keep Writing~ Whosabell

Virgil replied · Nov 11, 2016

Thanks so much!

Random avatar
Mathy
Review
Mathy wrote a review Review · Nov 11, 2016

I can't really say how I feel about this. I just figured out that it's read without the numbers and it is kind of weird. I get where you are coming from, but I just can't see what this whole poem is about. Why does it say that someone is more than something, and then that pollution is a hoax? I guess the whole part of the poem that says about the documentary makes a bit of sense, but how does being more than something make you different than something in a negative sense? Please explain.

Virgil replied · Nov 11, 2016

It's a nonet, and I decided to leave the syllables on as I liked how it looked. The documentary is hinting about pollution and recycling with a crushed can and all, so I hope this makes more sense to you now.

Mathy replied · Nov 11, 2016

Ohhhh! Thanks...



we went from advice to meth real quick
— ShadowVyper