Bangladesh

Hey there, Urba! I'm here to review this magnificent poem of yours. First of all, thank you for posting this. Your devotion to and love for your country really shines through with every word. Now... let's get to the hard stuff.

Beyond the earth

Far from the moon

Behind the stars

And full of flowers.

There's a land

Lies on the sand,

Full of blue, full of green

Reveals all the beauty the nature has gained.

My country, my home

Upon the clouds, on the bed of foam.

Here blows the air light and fresh

My own land, I call her Bangladesh.

hi urba. i like the poem very much. nothing to say. you explain your country beautifully. the last lines are most most beautiful

My country, my home

Upon the clouds, on the bed of foam.

Here blows the air light and fresh

My own land, I call her Bangladesh.

the three line is perfect for bangladesh

There's a land

Lies on the sand,

Full of blue, full of green

the total poem is beautiful. keep writing.,,,...

Guess what! I am here for a review, as requested.
Well, I know I am late (sorry about that. The weekend was super busy!).
Should I continue with review? Okay! Let's go.

It was a cute, little poem. I personally liked it. Not really one of the best poems but still really very good given that you are just 13! I wrote my first poem when I was 13 so I this number the most. haha

Well, this poem clearly shows how much you love your motherland and why shouldn't you? It is such an awesome country! (let's not talk about politics here. haha)

The only thing which I disliked was that it was way too short. It could have been longer. And there is no structure to the poem. I mean, how do you identify if it has like 2 stanzas or 3 of them? Do write poems in stanzas - believe me, it makes the poem look even better.

Another thing to note here is that the title is not really good enough. Make it like a phrase such as "My beautiful country" or anything! Try to grab the readers' attention with the title. I am sure you'll do better next time.

Signing off for now. Do let me know if you need any help I'd love to help. Good luck.

Good one
keep writting...

Sienna...

That was a nice piece! I liked the imagery you used for this and even the context of your poem is touching. True love for Motherland and expressed in poem!

My suggestion is that you make a sort of 'transition' with your thoughts here and there like in the part of "Behind the stars / And full of flowers." You should create a sort of connection with the two lines, linking the heavens to something earth-bound. Or you could exchange the two lines... "Behind the stars/ there is a land/ Full of flowers....."

Overall, it was a good one

Overall a descent poem, but do consider the first four lines.

1. Bangladesh is not "beyond the earth", it's ON earth.
2. Of course it's far from the moon, it's ON earth.
3. Behind the stars? I don't get it.
4. This line arbitrarily describes an implied entity that is full of flowers. It's confusing and doesn't make much sense.

Apart from these, it's quite alright. I like how the last four lines rhymed. They're fairly grammatical.

That was beautiful.

I really enjoyed your poem. I think it is really interesting that you are from Bangladesh. You are really good at writing. This poem definitely painted a picture. Even though I don't live in your country let alone seen it, it is as if I was there. You really make me want to visit Bangladesh, it sounds sooooooo beautiful. I think this line:
"My own land, I call her Bangladesh."
Was especially good.
Keep up the good work and I can't wait to see more of your poetry. Happy writing and have a great day.

Hello!! Guess what??? guess guess guess!

When i first saw the title i went like !! Yahhooo! Finally! My Bangladesh! our Bangladesh!

First of all, Good poem, it's so good that you wrote something about your country and your love for your country is actually showing here

I don't wanna critique on this piece. and yes, guessing over?

Well, I'm a Bangladeshi too! *High Five*

And, welcome to YWS, enjoy writing, reading and reviewing!

Good time! ভালো থাকো!

Home is where the heart is, and maybe that place you would say is beyond the Earth, but the land of Bangladesh is very much a part of the Earth, isn't it?

I think that phrase is often used, you know, to the point of overuse, and is really only included to add a contrast to the next line, "Far from the moon." If you nix that first line, the rest of the poem still functions and, as well, will have this added effect of being a very beautiful, shimmering night-time poem.

Without the very bright, day-time-y, earthy, foliage-y, Earth reference, you have "the moon" and "the stars" and "flowers" and "blue" and "green" and "bed of foam" - like a night walk on the beach.

The poem's title and first line made it start very vague, but now you've specified what part of Bangladesh you're talking about: the countryside or the sea, where the air blows "light and fresh." Surely, the air isn't so pleasant in the slums of the country, like Dhaka. It's difficult to encompass the whole, I know. Countries are so big. I can't talk about all of the different land areas in the US very well, either, especially if only one area in particular is where I call home.

The only spot I'd rephrase:

"My country, my home
Upon the clouds, on the bed of foam.
Here blows the air light and fresh
My own land, I call her Bangladesh."

How about:

"My country, my home,
On clouds, on foam:
Here, the air is light and fresh—

My land, Bangladesh."

Yes? No? It felt funny reading with so many words, like there were too many in my mouth before I finished a line, so I struck a few.

This poem has that really loving tone behind it, and I appreciate that. I have no idea if you're still in Bangladesh, but I'm not living in the state, here, in the US that I call home. I can relate to that endearing feeling. It's nice. It's simple.

For this poem, with a few excess words removed, the whole thing would be even better.