I am From

by TwilightMuse

Published October 6, 2015

E - Everyone

In Poetry

I am from gunmetal

From Savage and Colt

I am from the northern forests

(dark, thick, they smell of moss and bitter pine)

I am from the creeping myrtle

(spreading out with dark leaves and purple blooms)

I’m from the frozen lakes and generations of sons

From Dean and Shannon

And Hazel Muriel

I’m from the compulsion to serve and loyalty to loved ones

~

From “hush little baby” and “don’t go out at night”

From God fearing men and devout christian women

(church on sundays and prayer before meals)

I’m from Windy Ridge and Dead Man’s Drop

From deer we killed and chicken we raised

From the classified nature of my father’s violent past

The small town charms my mother was raised to know

In my grandparent’s lawn, a wedding with blue jeans all around

~

I am from the days of my childhood

When things were simple and pure

When summer was warm and winter biting cold

When I was the apple not yet fallen too far from the tree

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
TheRealOne
Review
TheRealOne wrote a review Review · Oct 7, 2015

Hey Twilight! I am here to review.

I am form gunmetal From Savage and Colt
That opening line is intriguing, but it never really gets explained later. I would have loved to see more about why you are from gunmetal. Is it because you grew up around guns, or has a past expierence with guns shaped how you grew up and your attitude? It may be because the prompt didn't allow for you to explain further but I really wanted to know more.
The line
From classified nature of my father's violent past
adds good emotion to the poem. I am going to guess that personal issues made that line the way it was written, but I am a sucker for detail so any informatio that you are willing to share would be nice and add even more emotion then there already is. Overall I really liked the poem. Keep up the great work and congrats on the spotlight! :)

Thanks for the review! Yes I did grow up around A LOT of guns. It kind of seeps into your bones after a while you know? And as for the stuff with my dad I literally can't explain. Its actually classified and I don't know most of it haha

User avatar
Snazzy
Review
Snazzy wrote a review Review · Oct 7, 2015

Hello! :D
Once I went to a summer creative writing class, and I saw this prompt! I've always meant to use the prompt...just never got around to it. :D
There's only one thing I would recommend revising...

I am from the creeping myrtle

(spreading out with dark leaves and purple blooms)

I’m from the frozen lakes and generations of sons

I think you should either stick with "I am from" , or "I'm from". I, personally like the "I am from...", but you could do it either way! :D

My favorite part was this-
When things were simple and pure

When summer was warm and winter biting cold

When I was the apple not yet fallen too far from the tree


:D Great job with this, and keep up the fantastic work! ;)
~Snazzy :)
Stay awesome ;)

Thanks so much for the feedback!

User avatar
erilea
Comment
erilea commented Comment · Oct 7, 2015

I love this!
I made a poem quite like this called Where I'm From. Feel free to view it. XD
*shameless self-promotion*

No harm in that! haha thank you!

User avatar
BethsLlama Comment
BethsLlama commented Comment · Oct 6, 2015

Really great poem!!!

Thank you very much :)



It's been many years since I had such an exemplary vegetable.
— Mr Collins, Pride and Prejudice