Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » General

E - Everyone

The Performance

by TwilightMuse

Standing off stage

We wait and wait

Nerves are jumping

Hearts aflutter


Introductions made

It’s hard to breathe

Now’s the time

Clear your mind of clutter


The first step forward

Appearance on stage

The crowd applauds

Give your brightest smile


We take our places

Our minds are racing

We have to get it right

This is the final trial


The lights go down

Hearts are pounding in our throats

Spotlights illuminate the stage

Now’s the time to shine


The show’s begun

Our voices rise

Instinct takes over

We know we’ll be just fine


Energy is flowing

The harmony’s just right

Overtones are floating

Confidence seems to grow


Final notes ring out

We’re all breathing hard

The crowd goes wild

We line up in a row


We take a bow

Our hearts are soaring

Our faces glowing

Singers dreams come true


We meet in the wings

Unable to contain our joy

Who could ever forget

The night our voices flew

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
78 Reviews

Points: 264
Reviews: 78

Mon May 01, 2017 10:30 pm
VegasLights wrote a review...

Hello, TwilightMuse! VegasLights here to give you a review!

I really do like your poem, I think it has a nice flow and good choice of words! It shows us what it is like to really do a performance and accurately states the feelings. It gave me a nice feeling as I kept reading along, there was a couple of things that I would change. So, let's get started with the actual review.

There were a few awkward lines that I would reword. Line three in stanza five, I would leave out "pounding in our throats" because it makes the flow a little rocky. That is pretty much what I am talking about because some of your lines, well most are perfect and it is just a few that needs to be edited a bit.

Overall, I thought your poem was wonderful and the flow was great it was just those few things that threw me off. There was great feeling and emotions throughout the poem which I really loved. Your poem was really good and I hope you keep writing. Sadly, all reviews must come to an end and here is the end of this one! I thank you for your time and I hope you have a great day!

xo. VegasLights
(Previously Steam1244)

User avatar
64 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 64

Thu Oct 15, 2015 2:21 am
Winter257 wrote a review...

Hello there! Gonna leave you a review quickly.

Overall, your poem is quite nice. It easily reflects what it's like to do a performance in front of a crowd. Besides a few awkwardly worded lines, I felt like you wrote this with very nice flow. My only suggestion would be to try and add more sensory/descriptive details in such poetry. But other than that, you did a wonderful job! Keep writing, and I hope to read more of your work! :)

User avatar
73 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 73

Wed Oct 07, 2015 11:22 pm
Swordfish wrote a review...

Hello TwilightMuse!
It's MergSword here with a review for you!

First I would like to begin with how I feel after I read this poem. I like the feeling the poem gives off. I think we've all had that feeling of fear and anxiety before. It could be the smallest things like answering a question, or as big as a Broadway performance.

I think you can add a few commas into the poem, I don't know why but when doesn't add commas I feel uncomfortable.

I'm a fan of the second to last stanza. It just captivated my interest, even if it was way at the end. Although when it came to captivating my interest, the first stanza didn't, which is th emits important part.

I do like however, as I mentioned before, the feeling. Keep on writing!


TwilightMuse says...

Thanks for the feedback!

Once you have read a book you care about, some part of it is always with you.
— Louis L'Amour